Maximizing social connectedness and finding a sense of community

As underscored in Part 1 of this series, solo agers face unique challenges as they age alone. It is especially important for solo agers to have a strong social support network, to maximize social connectedness, to be socially active, and to minimize isolation and loneliness.

Decisions made about future housing and living arrangements are linked with efforts to foster a sense of community and to meet increasing needs over time.

Social connectedness helps to promote mental health, to optimize overall well-being, and to decrease social isolation. Findings from research done under the auspices of AARP (2023) revealed many solo agers feel a lack of social connectedness. Over 50% feel lacking in companionship, with slightly over 40% feeling “left out” or socially isolated.

Maximizing social engagement and connectedness

Keep socially active by being involved with community activities, being a volunteer, engaging in advocacy efforts, taking part in religious activities such as going to church, and/or engaging in group exercise programs. Consider joining interest-based or support groups. Group activities can be especially helpful in developing friendships and strengthening relationships.

By actively engaging in activities you are committed to such as volunteerism or advocacy efforts, you can find or rediscover meaning and purpose in your life. You can “make a difference” at any point in your life.

Keep in touch with others by email or texting, by phone, through personal visits and by mail. Relationships can be nurtured through frequent interactions. Connectedness can be strengthened even by quick check-in contacts via text messages, to say hello and to ask how someone is doing.

Check out services and programming offered by the Area Agency on Aging District 5, the Senior Citizen’s Center, Catholic Charities of Ashland County and the Ashland County Council on Aging. Are older adults involved in planning – not just participating in – programs/activities offered? What are the primary foci of planned activities and events? Do they provide opportunities to forge connections with other older adults as well as with younger generations?

A focus on solo agers

Developing and maintaining a strong support network across time is important. Notably, Gefer (2023) emphasizes that this is vital for solo agers: “Solo agers may need to rely upon friends, neighbors, or community organizations as alternative sources of support, especially if they are determined to continue to live alone.”

While solo agers do not have children, they may have other relatives who may be able to provide help when needed – siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins. The bottom line, however, is that solo agers will need to consider developing non-biological “families,” comprised of members who can be called upon.

Solo agers need to continue pursuing the development of new friendships, and should take advantage of opportunities to engage in group activities. They may find it to beneficial to be educated about how to build social connectedness, especially if they are introverted and/or prefer to be “loners,” isolated, or homebound.

Keep in mind that support networks change and may decrease markedly in size over time due to family members, friends, or peers moving far away or dying. Some individuals who were part of your network, who could be counted on, may become seriously ill or incapacitated. They may no longer be able to connect well with you or to engage in mutual provision of support.

Housing options

While older adults, including solo agers, plan and hope to “age in place,” this may not be a viable choice in the future. This is an issue even if homes have been modified to make it possible to remain as independent as possible (e.g., adding ramps and grab bars; making changes so that the laundry room and bathroom are on the first floor).

Options are not limited to assisted living facilities or nursing homes. Rather, alternatives include senior living communities, continuing care retirement communities (a different term, preferred at this time, is “life plan communities”), Hanai Houses, Cohousing, and Shared Housing (Durrett, 2023; Pluhar, 2023; Vitale-Aussem, 2023).

Older adults may decide to move from their homes and downsize, choosing a condominium or an apartment in a complex that may be multigenerational in nature. Thereafter, if needs change (e.g., due to disabilities, falling, aging-related chronic medical problems, or serious cognitive decline associated with progressive dementia), it may become necessary to move into senior living, assisted living, or nursing homes.

Key points for solo agers to consider

Housing choices and living arrangements are tied to opportunities for maximizing social connectedness and support. As communities attempt to better meet the changing needs of older adults over time, there will most likely need to be an increased focus on affordability. While senior living communities promote independence, older adults are able to access a range of services and receive support.

Different housing options (such as shared housing and cohousing) provides companionship opportunities, and reduces housing costs. These “residing or living together” options result in sharing the work tasks needing to be completed in order to maintain a home, and helping each other routinely or in the event of an emergency. Privacy does not have to be sacrificed, and housemate relationships are not always a nightmarish experience!

However, “group or housemate/homemate” living arrangements do not guarantee that healthy social connections will be forged or increased, that others will help you when you need assistance. They may not be willing or able to provide caregiving if needed. Actually, it may be asking way too much of someone who is not a family member, even if you paid her for providing care.

Also, there are risks associated with living with others, in senior living settings, that go beyond the risk of losing privacy. Those who move and adopt a “group” lifestyle may find themselves at risk of bullying, defamation, harassment, and resident-to-resident or tenant-to-tenant abuse.

Closing comments

Part 2 of this series has addressed the need for solo agers to remain socially active and engaged, to forge strong social connections, to retain a sense of meaning and purpose, and to consider housing options that will promote supportive social connectedness.

The final part to this series will focus on preplanning for the future, including developing plans to leave a legacy. While preplanning − including developing a variety of legal documents in which proxies are designated − is important for all older adults, it is especially critical for solo agers.

Diana Spore, PhD, MGS, is a freelance writer, mental health advocate, social gerontologist, educator/researcher, and expert in mental health and aging. Spore is a Solo Ager, who resides in Ashland County.

This article originally appeared on Ashland Times Gazette: Community challenges faced by solo agers