Meet the Kooks Who Think NASA’s James Webb Telescope Is a Giant Space Cannon

The space community has been abuzz this week after NASA unveiled five stunning, highly anticipated new images from the James Webb Space Telescope. While the pictures stirred the awe and wonder of normal people, they also became a target for good old-fashioned idiots—er, conspiracy theorists—who believe that the photos are fake, or really evidence of enormous aliens, or that Webb is a giant space laser, actually.

Welcome to the age of the Webb Truthers.

Before we proceed any further, though, it’s worth heeding the words of Nietzsche: “If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you.” A few hours down the rabbit hole of any conspiracy theory might just have you putting on the old tin foil hat yourself—so be warned.

There’s a wide range of inane theories and speculations about the new Webb images’ origins, with some claiming that the pictures were created by CGI, Photoshop, Hollywood special effects, or some combination of all of the above. Some are even saying there might be a more diabolical reason behind Webb, suggesting that it could be weaponized against people on Earth.

“Hollywood is capable of great visual effects,” one Twitter user wrote in reply to a NASA tweet about the telescope. “Just sayin’... This is all fake.” Another user claimed that the photos are fake because “every star has the same pixel pattern.”

In one of the more herculean examples of mental gymnastics, one Twitter user said Webb’s snapshot of SMACS 0723, a region of the sky that provides a view to a dazzling amount of galaxy clusters, is actually computer generated. Plus, President Biden, who personally unveiled the image Monday, purposely named it “SCAMS” backwards—after all, the best way to dupe everyone into believing your scams is to leave little clues to your lies in plain sight.

Reddit’s /r/conspiracy community has seen a steady stream of Webb-related fodder since the first image was made public on Monday. While some believe the photos are fake, some go in the opposite direction to suggest the images are proof of something even more outlandish. One user suggested some of the images could actually be evidence of a giant head floating in space à la Guardians of the Galaxy.

Perhaps the most intriguing set of theories, though, accuse the Webb of being some sort of space weapon or spy satellite. In one particularly lengthy and rambling post, one Reddit user lays the case that NASA and the U.S. government at large aren’t telling us the whole truth about the Webb’s tools and capabilities. We’ll spare you most of the details, but the gist is that Webb is actually a satellite that can be used to spy on Earthlings with incredible precision. Unsurprisingly, it’s given many readers the chance to add to the conspiracy stew with their own theories.

“How to test a space-to-Earth direct energy weapon without making anybody SEE we're testing a space-to-Earth direct energy weapon,” one user replied. “Because with this sort of advanced precision, a space based direct energy weapon could target any target ANYWHERE on the planet.”

It also doesn’t help that there seems to be a cottage industry of clickbait YouTube channels with video thumbnails suggesting that the Webb is a giant laser cannon.

Like so many other conspiracy theorists before, though, some Webb Truthers reach into the tried-and-true antisemitic bag-of-tricks, claiming that the space observatory is some sort of Zionist conspiracy or Freemason plot to control the world. Here is where things turn from silly ideas by a select few social media posters, to something decidedly more nefarious.

“Let’s look at the big picture here: James Webb was a known free mason [sic],” one Redditor wrote about the former NASA administrator for whom the telescope is named after. The user went on to claim that the instrument, which sits in orbit one million miles away from the planet, is actually an ancient Hebrew occult tool called the “Star Tetrahedron” that can be used to connect human bodies with “the ethereal.”

Confused? Of course you are. It would take a conspiracy theorist decoder ring to make heads or tails of much of this. Still, the folks behind these types of posts will glom onto whatever is trending in the news to draw connections to their pet theories and ideas—no matter how tenuous and harmful. We saw it happen with 9/11. We saw it happen with COVID. We saw it happen with the COVID vaccine. We see it happen every time there’s a new mass shooting. Now we see it with Webb. If it makes a splash in the headlines, you can bet someone will be there to say that it’s actually a Freemason plot or that it's a false flag or aliens or whatever else.

Despite the sound and fury, though, the fact remains that Webb is a monumental accomplishment decades in the making. Launched on Christmas Day 2021, Webb is the most powerful space observatory ever put into orbit, and has become a symbol of true international collaboration in a world that desperately needs it. Using infrared and near-infrared light, it’s capable of peering through the veil of cosmic dust clouds, allowing researchers the unprecedented opportunity to study some of the farthest and oldest objects in the entire universe with unparalleled detail. It has the potential to answer some of the questions that have plagued humans since the dawn of civilization: Are we alone in the universe? Where do we come from? Where are we going?

In the five photos released this week alone, we’ve seen stunning images of dying stars, shimmering galaxies, shrouded black holes, and nebulas that host star nurseries. We’ve even been able to measure the water content of a giant exoplanet more than 1,000 lightyears from Earth. And perhaps the most amazing part of all of this is that it’s literally only the beginning. We can expect more discoveries and stunning images of the universe around us for at least two decades to come.

“It’s not going to stop,” NASA chief Bill Nelson said earlier this week. “Every image is a new discovery.”

So, knowing all that, who the hell needs a conspiracy theory when the truth is incredible enough?

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