Mental Health Matters: Here's why there's more than one path to happiness
I was talking to a friend recently who has an adult son, about 23, who suffers with anxiety. My friend detailed how her son wouldn’t be graduating college this year as planned and how upset he was to encounter kinks in his life plan. My wise friend then talked about how sometimes it feels like you’re failing, but it’s actually just a pivot.
I flashbacked to when I was that age. I had started my first job (ahem, at the Caller-Times), but I didn’t do well because I was entitled and naïve. Like my dad says, when you’re young and stupid, you’re young and stupid. I moved back home (Dallas) to my parents’ house and mourned the life I would never have.
I couldn’t stop obsessing about that life, though. I could see only one path to success, and I had blown it. My self-esteem took a hit, as well as confidence in my abilities. I couldn’t relinquish the idea that my life was over. The words “when God closes a door, he opens a window” repeated in my head, but I was convinced that the road to happiness could no longer be achieved.
Boy, was I wrong.
I got over not being a reporter. I used my writing skills in other ways and moved back to Corpus Christi a few years later after reuniting with my boyfriend. Now we happily have two kids and five cats. And isn’t it fitting now that I have a column in the Caller-Times? I’ve come full circle.
We all do, eventually. My friend’s son will come to understand that. He’ll realize that when he comes to a stop, it’s not always a dead end. Many roads lead to happiness and success. Just because you don’t get where you think you should be doesn’t mean it’s not in the cards for you. What you want in life will change, loved ones change, and you’ll change. Rather, you will grow.
I’ve faced disappointments that at first were devastating, the most recent a six-week stay at a psychiatric hospital. I didn’t think I could be happy again. I thought I was buying time until I killed myself. But we grow by challenging ourselves and our ideas about life. I think of that 22-year-old and laugh because I never would’ve imagined I’d be this happy and have so much love and support. Like my daddy says when you’re young and stupid, you’re young and stupid.
So the next time you get discouraged, look around. Maybe you just need to forge a new path. Or just pivot.
It’ll be scary but so worth it.
For more than 20 years, Heather Loeb has experienced major depression, anxiety and a personality disorder, while also battling the stigma of mental health. She is the creator of Unruly Neurons (www.unrulyneurons.com), a blog dedicated to normalizing depression and a member of State Rep. Todd Hunter’s Suicide Prevention Taskforce.
MIND MATTERS
Now more than ever we need to take care of our mental health. Guest columnist Heather Loeb discusses why and explores other important mental health topics in this special series.
This article originally appeared on Corpus Christi Caller Times: Here's why there's more than one path to happiness
