Mike DiMauro: Know who can stop hate speech? You. Me. Us.

Feb. 10—The two-minute drill version of our latest foray with racism:

Members of the Woodstock Academy boys' basketball team stopped at the Wendy's in Plainfield for some food after Thursday night's away game at Ledyard. The restaurant manager, Brett White, 22, of Canterbury, refused to serve the team and used expletives and racial slurs aimed at the team's two Black coaches, Donte Adams and Denzel Washington, per published reports and a statement released by Woodstock Academy.

Police arrested Mr. White on charges of second-degree breach of peace and later released him on a $10,000 bond. Police responded to a call a little after 10 p.m., learning about the incident from team members. Mr. White, according to the police report, admitted to using racial slurs as he was placed under arrest. The franchise that owns the restaurant condemned the behavior and said White has been dismissed.

Mr. White is scheduled to appear Feb, 21 at Danielson Superior Court.

Here is what needs to happen next: Mr. White needs to become an example of what "fullest extent of the law" truly means. I'm unclear how steep this could get for him — and I must admit to having little faith in our legal system. But I am sure that if the book is going to be thrown at him, I want Aroldis Chapman throwing it. Because it is only when we make examples of neanderthals that the neanderthals understand the concept of zero tolerance.

"Crimes motivated by bigotry usually arise not out of the pathological rantings and ravings of a few deviant types in organized hate groups, but out of the very mainstream of society," wrote Jack Levin and Jack McDevitt in the 1993 book "Hate Crimes: The Rising Tide of Bigotry and Bloodshed."

Facts about the mainstream of society: Neanderthals live among us. In every town. And while they are free to convey their musings, their musings have consequences. It should not be confined to the legal system to administer such consequences. It must start with us. You. Me. The guy next door. All of us who negotiate mainstream society. If you hear something, say something. If you hear the N-word, speak up. It's our responsibility.

No quick fix here. But the only way the Brett Whites of the world will stay quiet is if we start treating them as the pariahs they are. If Hester Prynne had to wear the "A," we ought to make Mr. White wear a big "N." And then all the world would know about his forward thinking thoughts.

Sorry, but many of us encounter people who, while perhaps not as overtly as Mr. White, convey similar sentiments every day in mainstream society. Do you let them get away with it? If you do, you are part of the problem. And it's a problem that doesn't merely benignly neglect hate speech, but suggests that it's permissible in your company.

Perhaps you reason that it's simple banter between friends and who's it really hurting? It hurts people like Mr. Washington and Mr. Adams — good, decent souls who just wanted a Baconator and some fries at 10 p.m. on a nothing Thursday night. Instead? They bear a scar.

I can't imagine how I'd have reacted had I been Mr. Washington or Mr. Adams. I mean, I wouldn't be particularly cheerful while hungry late at night an hour after my team had just lost a game. And then, perhaps when you think we've made progress here in 2023, you encounter this ... creature.

I admire their decency and restraint. Better men than I.

If you are as outraged as I am, we can do two things: Root for an irritable judge as Mr. White's case progresses and do our part to clean up everyday language in our little bubbles. That's how this stops. By shaming one nincompoop at a time.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro