Mike DiMauro: Of Lee Elci, civil discourse and bowling alley salvation

Mar. 29—A friend's suggestion from long ago, that I needed a hobby, resulted in something other than gardening, knitting or calligraphy. I decided that being morbid is underrated. So I took up the pastime of writing and rewriting my epitaph.

Past considerations:

"Here lies Mikey D. He just didn't understand."

"Here lies Mikey D. He just wanted his hate mail to have subject-verb agreement."

The latest: "Here lies Mikey D. He found salvation at a bowling alley."

And to think of how much I've made fun of bowling all these years, failing to understand it's more than wearing someone else's shoes and forcing down Schlitz.

But there we were last Friday at Game On, the entertainment-o-rama Mohegan Sun, with all the bowling alleys. I was part of a 64-player charity tournament dubbed "Pin-Sanity" by organizer Lee Elci of 94.9 FM, whose radio show and influence resonates well beyond our region.

A few highlights before we get to the salvation part. Elci's efforts helped 64 of us raise $21,530 for 32 local charities. Elci found a local lineup from the spheres of politics, sports, music, art, gaming, education, medicine, media, law, culinary and more. I bowled brutally, only making the second round after trying to tank the first against the great Wendy Bury, the Managing Director at the Lyme Academy of Fine Arts. Bowling balls are heavy. Game On doesn't offer Schlitz. But in totality, a fun Friday night for sure.

There were probably 100 people milling about in total. Full disclosure: Most of them were of a different political persuasion than yours truly. Elci's show has a conservative bent, leaving more than one fellow participant asking me how I liked being outnumbered. Others approached me and openly challenged some of the opinions I've offered over the years both in print and on Elci's show, where I'm a weekly guest.

We talked about sports, sure. But also about Trump, transgender issues, school resource officers, Biden, the law, voting, Black Lives Matter and what felt like a hundred other things.

Know what happened?

This is the salvation part. We actually talked to each other. We listened to each other. We didn't yell or curse. We exchanged viewpoints. Real live banter. I doubt either side convinced the other of much. But we all walked away with a better understanding of each other, despite maintaining our differences.

Not to get all utopian here, but some of you Hostile Hermans out there really ought to try this. Put the agenda away and listen. Acknowledge the other person's point before embarking on your own soliloquy. These blinding flashes of interpersonal communication only might solve everything.

Now I get that there are extremists out there who, to paraphrase the Boston Globe's Chad Finn, might have a thirst for knowledge, but remain severely dehydrated. There is no reasoning with them. The next best option: Ignore. Example: The author of a recent letter to the editor here likened me to a Chinese communist. How does one respond to that, other than offering him a glass of water for his dehydration?

I'm aware there are extreme points of view on Elci's show, just as the left has its share of zealots. This is why I watch neither Fox News nor MSNBC. They're all wrong. I want zero to do with people who are intent on shaming me for not hating the right people.

Besides, so many more people don't live in feedback loops. They have liberal views on some issues and conservative views on others. It's like living here in Connecticut and rooting for the Red Sox and the football Giants. Why must there be one and only one right way?

This just in: There isn't. So I hope you can remember bowling alley salvation. Imagine: a whole group of people can gather — for a good cause, too — and openly discuss their differences without lapsing into the morass of the dreaded Human Comments Section.

Imagine: good old face to face conversation. Civil discourse.

And somewhere, the framers smile.

This is the opinion of Day sports columnist Mike DiMauro