Military suicides: One family's crusade to end the stigma and support the troops

Bristol native Matthew Patton joined the Army in 2008 after graduating from Mount Hope High School. A year later he deployed to Afghanistan. On patrols, he often volunteered to man the machine gun mounted on the roof of the lead Humvee.

“He was always a daredevil growing up,” said his mother, Lynn.

One day, Patton swapped positions with another soldier, and he rode in a different vehicle. The other soldier’s Humvee hit an IED, and all three inside were killed. “But not right away,” wrote columnist Mark Patinkin, who interviewed Patton’s parents for an excellent column he wrote in 2017.

“They all had radios,” she said of the other Humvees, “and could hear [their fellow soldiers] still alive and burning. Then they had to pick up the pieces.”

The next time he was home, Matthew told his parents, “That should’ve been me.”

Mark Patinkin: A son's life honored by saving others

According to his parents, Matthew experienced survivor’s guilt and PTSD symptoms. Unfortunately, he turned to substance use to cope. He was only a few months from completing his service, but he didn’t make it.

While assigned to Fort Hood, Texas, Matthew shot himself on May 13, 2013. He was on a short leave, alone at a friend’s home. He was 23.

'He was different after Afghanistan.'

John Patton, 66, is the Torpedo Chief Engineer in one of the departments of the Naval Undersea Warfare Center in Newport. Wife Lynn, 59, is a registered nurse with a BA and a degree in nursing from Rhode Island College; she also earned a master's in health administration.

They have four children; their youngest son, Matthew, was born in March 1990.

"He was the smiley boy. He was just so happy as a child," Lynn recalled during a Zoom interview with Texas TV station KCEN in 2020. Despite the outward joyfulness, he battled depression, anxiety and other mental health issues as a boy.

“His demons started in adolescence in Bristol, but war made them worse,” wrote Patinkin.

After treatment, things seemed to level out, and he felt fit enough to enlist after high school.

Sadly, his depression returned shortly after he joined the Army. It was compounded by some of the horrific experiences he encountered in the war zone.

"He was different after Afghanistan," Lynn told KCEN-TV.

How does the military deal with suicide?

Matthew's body arrived at T.F. Green Airport, and an honor guard carried the remains off the plane in a flag-draped casket. But that was it.

Several media reports at the time decried the lack of a more substantial welcome, suggesting that the toned-down ceremony was a reflection of the stigma associated with suicide.

If the military in any way toned down or cut short the honors provided because this death was a suicide, they did it in violation of very specific directives. According to the Defense Suicide Prevention Office in 2023, “There is no reference within this instruction which precludes individuals from receiving a military funeral with full honors if the individual died as a result of suicide.

Full honors are appropriate, so long as the deceased has not brought discredit to the service. The directive continues: ”Suicide is not a crime, and victims of suicide should not be grouped with those who commit crimes. To do so is to deny them full military burial honors that for centuries have paid homage to the lives, service, and sacrifice of the fallen.”

How Matthew’s death led to a program to help others

His mother was determined that Matthew would not just become another statistic. She vowed that his death would contribute in some way to saving others.

Patinkin described how Lynn finally reached Col. Tim Luedecking, who commanded the 4th Sustainment Brigade at Fort Hood. After an hour on the phone, he made plans to visit the Pattons in Bristol.

The following year, Luedecking invited Lynn to Fort Hood to relate Matthew’s story to his soldiers. While there, she passed on her message to some 400 service members.

The Fort Hood experience convinced the Pattons “that we needed to help prevent this from happening to another family.” So they created the Matthew Patton Foundation to help improve the military mental health system.

Similar talks at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and Natick, Massachusetts, followed. According to the website Army.mil, she told the young soldiers at Natick, "It's been very difficult on us, but this is what's helping us survive – talking to you."

Lynn urges service members to seek assistance if they ever feel overwhelmed. "You're not weak," she said. "You're strong if you decide to go for help, and it works."

Vietnam-era Marine Paul Carew, a Natick-based Veterans Service Officer, was impressed with Lynn’s message and the way she delivered it. Over the years, the two have organized additional discussions on suicide awareness.

According to co-founder John Patton, “The Matthew Patton Foundation is working with our veterans, the R.I. Governor’s Challenge team and the Bristol Health Equity Zone to reduce suicide among service members, veterans and their families.”

On Tuesday, Sept. 12, from 5 to 8 p.m., the Matthew Patton Foundation is hosting an important Suicide Prevention, Education, and Awareness Panel at VFW Post 237, 850 Hope St. in Bristol. The panel will provide valuable information about identifying signs that someone is struggling and how to help him or her seek help.

Carew will moderate, along with retired Col. Bill Callahan, who deployed twice in the global war on terror and now serves as a transition assistance adviser. They will be joined by Lynn Patton and Lt. Col. Katherine Murphy, who works as a behavioral health coordinator for the Massachusetts National Guard.

Numbers don’t lie

Suicide affects service members and veterans in disproportionate numbers. In 2020 the suicide rate for veterans was 57.3% greater than for non-veteran U.S. adults. For women veterans, the rate is 2.5 times higher.

In 2020, there were 6,146 veteran suicide deaths. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among veterans under age 45.

According to the Department of Defense, 519 service members died by their own hand in 2021. Another 133 spouses and 69 other dependents also killed themselves.

Veterans and service members experiencing a mental health emergency can make the equivalent of a 911 call by dialing 988 and pressing 1 to be connected to the Veteran Crisis Line. Help is also available by text, at 838255, and via chat at VeteransCrisisLine.net.

Calendar

Friday-Sunday, Sept. 8-10: Traveling Vietnam Wall, Rocky Point Park in Warwick. The American Veteran Traveling Tribute Memorial will be free to visit 24 hours a day until 5 p.m. on Sept. 10. At 2:09 p.m. each afternoon the names of the 209 Rhode Island service members lost in the Vietnam conflict will be read. The Gaspee Days Committee, the City of Warwick, Operation Stand Down Rhode Island (OSDRI) and RI 250 are hosting the event. To make a donation or to learn more about sponsorship opportunities, visit the events page of Operation Stand Down Rhode Island at OSDRI.org.

Sunday, Sept. 10, 1 to 3 p.m.: Graduation of OCS Class 66. R.I. Army National Guard. Camp Fogarty, 2841 South County Trail, East Greenwich, RI Joint Force HQ auditorium.

Monday, Sept. 11, 9 a.m.: Ceremony Marking 22nd Anniversary of the 9/11 Terrorist Attacks. Wall of Honor at the Rhode Island Veterans Memorial Cemetery, Exeter. For more information, call Bill Pennoyer, (401) 398-2358.

Tuesday, Sept. 12, 5 to 8 p.m.: The Matthew Patton Foundation is hosting a Suicide Prevention, Education, and Awareness Panel. VFW Post 237, 850 Hope St. in Bristol. The panel provides valuable information on how to identify the signs that an individual is struggling and how to help him or her seek help. Light refreshments will be provided. For further information, please contact Paul Carew at (508) 647-6545 or Lynn Patton at (401) 330-6388, or email info@matthewpattonfoundation.org

Thursday, Sept. 14, 4:30 to 7 p.m.: Learn to Surf Cast for free. At Scarborough Beach, Providence Vet Center is teaming up with the Narragansett Surf Casters and Rhode Island Department of Environmental Management to offer a class to 15 service members/veterans. All the equipment you need to learn to catch fish from shore, along with instruction, will be provided by members of Narragansett Surf Casters. Food and refreshments provided as well. Please sign up with Justyn Charon by phone at (401) 739-0167 or via email at Justyn.Charon@va.gov.

Friday, Sept. 29, 6:30 to 10:30 p.m.: Military Police Regimental Association of RI Annual Awards Dinner. Quonset O Club, 200 Lt. James Brown Road, North Kingstown. This is the 20th anniversary of the deaths of Staff Sgt. Joseph Camara, Sgt. Charles Todd Caldwell and Spc. Michael Andrade while conducting combat operations in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Tickets are $55 each and are available only from this website: tinyurl.com/yaw744cp. For details, call Sean Fitzpatrick at (203) 907-8985 or email rhodeislandmpra@gmail.com.

To report the outcome of a previous activity, or to add a future event to our calendar, please email the details (including a contact name and phone number/email address) to veteranscolumn@providencejournal.com

This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: Matthew Patton Foundation: Leading the fight against military suicides