Mindfulness helps build happy, resilient children
Stop and smell the roses. Live in the present. Focus on what is important. These are all things we tell our kids to do — even though we may have trouble doing them ourselves.
But what do those phrases mean? They sound good, but what are we really trying to instill in our children when we say them?
In one way or another, those phrases touch on the importance of being mindful.
For a while now, mindfulness has been a catchword often heard but not so commonly understood. Put simply, mindfulness is about focusing on the present moment, specifically on your emotions and physical sensations.
It seems simple enough, but the truth is, slowing down, for parents and children, can be very difficult given the pace most of our lives move at.
COVID-19 and mindfulness
As our kids continue to deal with the fallout of the pandemic, mindfulness can help them cope and become more resilient. There is no question that anxiety, depression and other emotional stressors in kids have skyrocketed over the past 15 months. At the same time, the restrictions and interruptions to everyday life have given our children (as well as us) a chance to slow down and take stock of what’s important in real time.
When we take a mental break from the hurried pace of our everyday life, the benefits can be enormous — physically, mentally and socially. And when we help our children become consistently mindful, we are instilling practices that can be critical for their development.
Benefits of living a mindful life
Research has consistently shown that being mindful can help kids learn how to regulate their emotions, thereby reducing stress and anxiety, while also teaching them to stay focused. Being purposefully mindful helps both to ease anxieties and put our effort more into appreciating what we have.
Studies point to mindfulness as a way to help kids navigate bullying situations, enhance focus while dealing with conditions such as ADHD, build social skills, and improve overall mental health.
Though meditation and quiet reflection are most often associated with mindfulness, we can help our children become mindful by simply talking with them, asking questions about how they are feeling or what they see around them, and even playing games.
Getting kids to be mindful
You can start your children on a path toward a mindful life by asking them to stand in a pose and describe what they feel.
The exercise helps them concentrate on the obvious but often overlooked correlation between body and mind. In an environment without distractions — no television, radio or digital — ask your children to describe what they see, hear, smell, feel or taste; this will encourage them to focus on the present and pay attention to the physical world around them.
Mindfulness has shown to have big benefits for mental and emotional health as well. To get them in touch with their emotional state, try asking the children how they feel — happy, sad, scared, nervous, excited, etc. Then, ask your kids what might be the cause for their current emotions. The process puts them in the present and also gets at underlying causes for behavior.
Mindfulness can also involve healthy activities with our children. We’re lucky to live in South Florida as we have year-round opportunities to be mindful by simply walking outside or going to be the beach and observing our surroundings for no or low cost.
Ask questions about what they observe, make them count the birds or animals they pick out, or how many cars or clouds they see. It can be almost anything, but the point is, they are taking in their present surroundings, identifying their place in that setting while also discarding other, sometimes overwhelming, situations and thoughts.
Nurture mindfulness
As parents, we can definitely instill mindfulness in our children, but let’s not forget that they are naturally more mindful than us. Their minds are typically not as filled with distractions, responsibilities and stresses as ours, so make sure to nurture mindfulness every chance you get.
Both problems and possibilities are always around the corner in life, but enjoyment only comes in the present. Mindfulness reminds us of that.
Maria-Paula García is the director of Research & Evaluation at The Children’s Trust. García has an M.A. in human development social intervention and an M.S. in psychology, and she previously evaluated early-intervention programs with the New York University Child and Family Policy Center.
