Minnesota here: We still have no water to offer up
Hi Palm Springs, Minnesota here again with a post-election water advisory update. Probably the last letter on the topic, sorry to say. Just in time too, as a quick look at the Farmer’s Almanac confirms we’re going to have winter again this year. Time for one last letter before everything freezes over up here, ha-ha. Ha.
Well again, good news and bad news. The good news, for you guys at least, is that we aren’t turning off the river, not for now at least. I know it might look like we did with all the barges getting stuck and shipwrecks showing up and everything but honest, we didn’t do that. Maybe Cincinnati and Louisville got together and turned off the Ohio, but it wasn’t us.
Not that we don’t want to, but as it turns out, there was a legal challenge from the Zebra Mussel Habitat Preservation Society. Turns out even though zebra mussels are an invasive species, the good folks at the ZMHPS think they should be afforded the same legal protections as other invasives such as pheasants and eucalyptus trees. They say turning off the river would be detrimental to zebra mussel habitat, and also offensive. So, the whole thing is hung up in court.
The bad news ... well I hate to tell you this, but even if this whole zebra mussel thing does get sorted out in your favor, someone else has jumped in line in front of you; South Dakota wants more water. Apparently when they heard you guys were trying to get the river so as to transform the desert, they got to thinking about it and basically decided it would be a great idea to transform the South Dakota prairie into a higher profile tourist destination too, complete with a domed all-season surf park near Mt. Rushmore featuring a salt water lake and the whole works.
We’ve heard they’re trying to contact the investors who were pushing for the Coral Mountain facility to move their plans north a bit. If the South Dakotites don’t get what they want they’ve threatened to raise prices on out of state pheasant-hunting licenses. Obviously, we can’t let that happen, so our hands are pretty much tied. Sorry guys.
As to dealing with the drought situation, fortunately, we have a fallback plan involving Lake Superior. Can’t say much about that now, as we’re still ironing out a few small details with Ontario, Wisconsin and Michigan, but have high hopes for success. After all, what’s a few quadrillion gallons between friends?
Anyway, we’ll see how that works out. Wish us luck! It’s been fun talking, maybe another topic will come up in the near future. Till next time, as they say up here in hockey-land; keep the puck low, and stay on the ice.
All the Best, John C. aka Minnesota Slim.
John Connerton is a resident of White Bear Lake, Minnesota. Write to him at jmconnerton@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: Minnesota here: Sorry to say, we still have no water to offer up
