Mom believed in standing out, not blending in

I am packing for a trip to southern California to visit my middle sister for her 65th birthday. I’m channeling my mother as I pack. Turquoise jewelry, check. Bright colors, check. Monochromatic outfits, check. Mom believed fashion should be about standing out, not blending in. In preparation for the trip, I’m going though photos and memorabilia that I inherited when Mom died. I put them in a closet and have not looked at them in 16 years. This impending trip has been the impetus I needed.

One of the most striking things I come across is a picture Mom cut out of a magazine — inspiration for a dress she wanted to make for her daughter, my oldest sister, Cheryl Ann — and sent to her mother with the following notation: Please send back. I want to save this. It’s my summer’s work. This is what Cheryl Ann picked for me to copy.

It’s a picture from a bride magazine depicting a woman wearing a white floor-length satin sheath with a fitted lace fabric shrug and a lace train cascading from the top of her head to the floor. It’s clear Mom made the dress pattern de novo. Another enclosure is a picture of a woman in a dress with a demure roll-top neckline and a buttoned tab that encircles the dress at an empire-waist. Her handwritten note on this magazine photo: This is my dress, but long and without sleeves. Again, she made the pattern based on the picture in the magazine. I am astounded at the creativity and energy of my mother, along with the example she set of embracing challenges and following through.

These photos accompany a 15-page letter she wrote to her mother, detailing all the preparation for the wedding of Cheryl Ann. It is a play-by-play of the week leading up to the wedding, helping her mother feel like she was there. Grandma couldn’t make it out west to the wedding, as Grandpa had recently died. I had always been in awe of what an incredible seamstress Mom was, but this letter helped me understand that she was an extraordinary pattern maker too.

Cheryl Ann was to marry Thorp on Aug. 17,1968. He had returned home from Bangkok, where he served as an Army medical specialist. He brought yards and yards of ruby Thai silk to outfit the entire wedding party. Ruby was Cheryl Ann’s favorite color. Her engagement ring was a ruby. Mom made Sallie, my middle sister, and me junior bridesmaid dresses with white lace necklines. I was 9, Sallie was 11. She also made the patterns and dresses for four of Cheryl Ann’s girlfriends, who served as bridesmaids. The women came over to get their dresses fitted. Dresses under construction were hanging from every door. We all wore fascinators in our hair that Mom made of nylon red roses and netting.

The wedding was a DIY work of art. With the help of her friend Jackie, she made a three-tiered wedding cake, bride and groom cakes and enough food to feed 120 people at the reception at my parent’s house. Dad helped too. He hosed the patio, mowed and weeded the yard and hung party lanterns from the trees. Sallie and I filled tiny paper cups with rice, covered them in netting, then tied the netting together forming a set of bells. Each guest got to open the netting and throw the rice onto the newlyweds as they exited the church.

Mom’s letter continues, Well they all looked beautiful, and I thought they couldn’t have looked prettier if we had spent a million dollars…a friend of the groom said Cheryl Ann’s dress was the most beautiful he’d ever seen.

These memories are especially poignant to me as I lost Cheryl Ann to suicide when she was 41 and I was 26. Thorp died nine years later from a massive infarction. They had no children. So I inherited her wedding dress, wedding album, and the last of the Thai silk.

Thirty-five years after Cheryl Ann’s wedding, I used the silk to make an outfit for my oldest stepson’s wedding.

I wore it for you, Mom. For all the times you told me that monochromatic is chic and that dressing should be fun and bring joy.

Cynthia Pappas, who lives in Springfield, is grateful for all the mothering in her life, from both Mom and Cheryl Ann.

This article originally appeared on Register-Guard: Mothers' Day brings memories of DIY fashion with sisters