Mom in Manchester no-tell transgender lawsuit: 'Things could take a turn for the worse if we don't know'
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May 26—The mother suing Manchester schools over their non-disclosure transgender policy is a teacher herself, and said she would never want to hide information about a student's transgender status from a parent.
The mom spoke to the New Hampshire Union Leader earlier this week.
On Thursday, the Legislature is scheduled to take up final votes on a parental rights bill that would require school officials to inform parents of any actions taken by a student to change their gender identity.
Republican Gov. Chris Sununu has said he will veto the legislation. The mom said Sununu should reconsider and sign the bill.
Children spend the largest percentage of their waking hours in school, said the woman, who is identified as Jane Doe in court papers. Her child is a preteen and now in counseling after the mother found out the child changed the name they wanted to use.
"If we're not being told what's going on in their personal life in school, things could take a turn for the worse if we don't know," she said.
The mother spoke to a reporter in a Manchester park with her lawyer, Rick Lehmann of Concord.
She said she wants to protect her child, so she did not disclose where she works, other than it is a public grade school outside of Manchester. She has been a teacher for 25 years and with her current school district for 17.
The Union Leader agreed to not disclose the name or the gender of her child.
Her union, NEA-New Hampshire, is part of a coalition of LGBTQ advocacy, civil liberties and church groups opposed to the parental rights bill.
In a statement, the union said teachers and principals consistently share all kinds of information with parents, and they know that parental involvement is one of the predictors of parental success.
"Generally speaking though, a young person's decision about how and when to come out to their parents is private," NEA-NH said. "Teachers may be able to support students in preparing to have difficult and sensitive conversations about gender at home."
The mother said she learned of the child's name change when speaking to a teacher. Her child, who was given a gender-specific name at birth, had expressed to teachers a preference to be addressed by a gender-neutral name — for example, Chris or Pat.
Once the mother learned about the name change, she researched social media accounts and had a long talk with her child. She discovered problems associated with self-esteem and cutting.
"I don't understand how somebody would lie to parents or withhold information from parents," she said. "Had I not been given any kind of information at all, who knows what would have happened?"
Lehmann said the lawsuit does not seek damages, only an order from a judge declaring the Manchester policy unconstitutional.
In nearly all cases, a parent who learns their child is transgender would embrace the child, tell the child they love them and move forward, Lehmann said. If educators feel a student would be in danger, they are required by law to contact child protection workers, Lehmann said.
The mother said her child is in a circle of friends that includes students who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning. She said she's never been homophobic and told her child that whom one loves is a choice for them to make.
She said she's a pro-Trump Republican and Catholic, though she stopped going to church after her divorce. She and the father of her two children co-parent, and he supports the lawsuit, she said.
The parental rights bill goes further than her lawsuit. Her lawsuit seeks to have the Manchester non-disclosure policy declared unconstitutional. The legislation would require school officials to disclose a child's transgender status to parents.
After she brought the suit, Manchester school board members removed the word parents from the non-disclosure transgender policy. But Lehmann said the new language prohibits disclosure to anyone. He has reworded the lawsuit and resubmitted it.
"'Anyone' includes parents. To me, it doesn't change much," he said.
