Heather says up until a few years ago, her daughter, Marissa, was a “phenomenal young lady.” She says the 15-year-old played basketball and won a beauty pageant. Then, she says, the teen started acting out. “She started smoking marijuana, started vaping. She started speaking to me with such disrespect,” Heather claims. She also says her daughter has stolen her car nine times, and the last time, was brought home by the police. “She definitely has two sides. She’s an amazing young lady, but it’s like a light switch; She becomes the manipulating, the lying.” Heather, a long time Dr. Phil fan and member of the Dr. Phil Phanatics Facebook fan group, drove 1,600 miles to get help. “I am mentally and physically exhausted,” she says. “I fear that Marissa could end up dead.” Hear more of Heather’s story in the video above. On Thursday’s episode, hear what Marissa says about her behavior – and what she tells her mother she needs from her. Plus, one of the world’s leading child behavioral experts, Dr. Michele Borba, works closely with Dr. Phil to impart potentially life-changing advice to Heather and her daughter. Check local listings to see where you can watch "'How Do I Parent My ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ Daughter?'" TELL DR. PHIL YOUR STORY: Do you have a hopeless mother or daughter conflict?
- Up until a few years ago, Marissa was a phenomenal young lady. She played basketball. She won a beauty pageant.
A few years ago, she started acting out. She started smoking marijuana, started vaping. She started speaking to me with such disrespect. She screamed at me, "I hate you."
- Sometimes you can be very, very strict.
- This past summer-- it was around 3 o'clock in the morning-- she decided it would be a great idea to sneak two boys into our house. Last year, she was on her computer at school bullying another student, and she ended up getting suspended for 10 days. Marissa has stolen my car at least nine times. One of those times, she even wrecked my car.
The last time she got caught, the police escorted her home. You were brought home at 4:00 AM by the cops. Of course you're gonna have consequences.
When I fall asleep, she's figured out when I'm gonna be able to wake up and when I'm not. And she takes advantage of that. When you lie to me, I get really angry.
Most of our arguments revolve around her lying. One time, a boy at school hit her in the face. The next day, she told somebody that her dad hit her.
She definitely has two sides. She's an amazing young lady. But it's like a light switch. She becomes the manipulating, the lying.
I am mentally and physically exhausted. I fear that Marissa could end up dead. I have been watching Dr. Phil since I was seven. Dr. Phil has been kind of like a father figure to me. Dr. Phil, I desperately need your help.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: Well, Heather, I'm glad you kept writing. I'm sorry you had to do it so many times. There are a couple things that I want to touch on first. Do you agree that relationships are mutually defined?
- Yes, 100%.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: So the two of you have conspired, gotten together, and mutually defined how you get along, what defines your day-to-day relationship. You have ownership in it, right?
- Yes, absolutely.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: As does she.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: And would you agree that despite your frustrations, you must have done a lot of things right? Because in many respects, this is a spectacular young woman. Do you agree with that?
- I would like to.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: But then there are behaviors that you're not proud of--
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: --that she does. And those things bother you. And you're concerned that they're kind of gateway behaviors to worse conduct that could get her in real trouble.
- Absolutely. That is a huge factor.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: And when did you start showing up?
- It started showing up about two or three years ago, pretty extreme.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: I put together a timeline of behaviors. And one of the ones that jumped out at me was December 4 of '19, so a little over a year ago, she steals your car to sneak out for the first time.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: So that had to be a shock to you.
- It was a huge shock, yes.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: You know, because at that point, she was 14.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: Then shortly after that, she sneaks a boy into the house, then steals your car, gets high, and drove into a ditch. She commented about this to a friend--
- Yeah. She texted.
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: --in a text message. She says, "oh, well. We went to blank and smoked three bowls."
DR. PHIL MCGRAW: "I puked, then blank drove back home, and I left. I crashed the car into a ditch, someone had to come and pull us out, then I waited 30 minutes, went home, and didn't get caught, laughing emoji. But we was high blank, bro." When you read that, what was your reaction?
- This. Broken.