Moms are sharing the best and worst things they were gifted in their first postpartum days

People have strong feelings about gifts for new parents. Case in point: A thread about that very topic is going viral on Twitter.

“Before I had kids of my own, a friend had an incredibly traumatic birth; the baby almost didn’t make it,” Conz Preti wrote on May 17. “Our group of friends decided to send her something, and we chose a cashmere sweater.

"We could’ve sent food, a night doula, or showed up. Not a sweater you need to hand wash!

“(yes, I’m still angry at myself for this),” she added.

Preti received a handful of responses about postpartum gifting fails.

“My parents were given a pair of Siamese kittens when they first had their baby. Can you imagine?” one user wrote.

“After the birth of my first child and the chaotic week that ensued, my husband’s uncle delivered three decorative pumpkins as a gift," another shared. "When asked what we were supposed to do with them, my father in law said ‘make a pie!’ I’m still mad about this.”

“My [brother-in-law’s] girlfriend gave me a teeny tiny white lace lingerie set after my 1st because she ‘knew I would want to feel sexy again.’ Nevermind that I was wearing a pad the size of North America and my boobs grew 5 cup sizes," another commenter chimed in.

Mostly though, people wanted to share practical gift ideas that new moms and dads really will appreciate. Preti recalled a friend asking her what she needed after giving birth to her twins.

"I said 'food I can eat with one hand' and he showed up with a burrito, chips, guacamole, and he will forever my hero," Preti wrote on Twitter.

Another mom recommended "frozen sanitary pads doused in aloe vera and witch hazel," and "a list of instructions for her partner on how to best support her."

Other stand-out suggestions:

“Having a baby really makes you rethink gifts you give new parents. I now always send a box of individually wrapped snacks bc someone sent that to me and it was my favorite gift because I always had a snack ready at the couch.”

“Someone on TikTok said their mother in law gifted them with 3 months of having a housekeeper come twice a week (she asked if they would like that as a gift first). That would have been my dream gift to receive during the first few months of baby.”

“When I had my first baby, a seasoned mom gave me a little basket with a cute water bottle, nipple cream, a universal tv remote, nursing pads, and a timer in it. It was a breastfeeding basket to keep with you so you have what you need and, honestly, BEST GIFT EVER."

“First time my friend had a baby, I forgot to get a present and took the banana loaf I’d made that morning instead. Hands down still the best received gift ever; he told me after I left they ate half of it immediately, then the rest for dinner. Didn’t get it until I had my own.”

“Freezer meals and laundry service (especially for a c-section mom because you can’t lift anything.)”

“I made my best friend a lasagna every month, cut and wrapped in individual pieces so she could pop them in the microwave. Saved her so much time and hassle.”

“In my younger days, I showed up at a friend’s house who’d just given birth. She was totally overwhelmed. I told her to go get some sleep, and I would take care of her baby. She’s never forgotten.”

The expert says...

Etiquette author Lizzie Post tells TODAY.com to steer clear of high maintenance gifts, such as plants ... or siamese kittens. “Thoughtless gifts,” such as the three decorative pumpkins, are also a no-no, according to Post, who co-wrote "Emily Post’s Etiquette, The Centennial Edition."

“You also don’t want to go too personal with your gift if you don’t know the person very well. If their baby isn’t latching, and you send lactation cookies, that could cause them to break down,” Post explains.

Post says to consider the person you’re buying the gift for. Who was she before she became a mom?

“Your knowledge of who she is, will likely guide you to a gift that she’ll appreciate,” Post says.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com