A mop onesie, and other weird stuff we found on Amazon this week
It's time to interrupt your regularly scheduled holiday weekend programming of acceptably day drinking White Claws and shopping the best Labor Day deals, to spice things up with a healthy dose of Amazon weirdness. Why? Because the internet and its vortex of head-scratching commerce takes no days off, folks.
SEE ALSO: Take a dissonant journey through the world of weird peeled foods
From an underbelly of fake seed scams to piggy banks with unnervingly realistic faces, Amazon never drops the ball when it comes to serving up the strange. So let's dig in to this week's roundup, shall we?
Here are our top picks of the weirdest products we stumbled across on Amazon this week:
This egg squaring contraption
Image: home-app
Don’t just eat any ol’ hard-boiled egg, eat a cool hard-boiled. This cubing tool boasts that it “squashes your egg into a perfect square,” which is all an egg lover could ever hope for, I guess. Grab one for $11.52 and get to squashing.
A mug with the entire script of Shrek on it
Image: HUdatee
Every once in awhile, a cinematic masterpiece comes along and forever paints our world with Ogre-filled wonder and a soundtrack featuring Smash Mouth. And in the early aughts, that film was Shrek. Ultimate Shrek stans can snag this mug which sports the entire script for just $14.95 to woo their office pals.
These live Bullfrog tadpoles
Image: toledo Goldfish
Goldfish are so last year, especially when you can head to Amazon and get yourself a 25-count of live bullfrog tadpoles for $60. The little fellas ship directly to your door within 48 hours of your order for the ultimate in amphibious online purchasing convenience.
A waffle maker for the typing enthusiast
Image: The Keyboard Waffle Iron
Writer's block is the worst. Waffles help. So why not whip up some fluffy, syrup-soaked goodness with this quirky AF waffle maker from Amazon. It features an easy-to-clean, non-stick aluminum coating so you can head back to your desk as soon as creativity strikes. Get it for $84.
This adorable mopping baby onesie
Image: baby mop
It’s never too early to teach your children the value of good ol’ fashioned chores. That’s why this onesie doubles as a microfiber mop so all that scooting and crawling around is good for something! Get one for $39.99. (Please note this is heavy with sarcasm and we in no way condone children doubling as cleaning devices.)
A levitating Bluetooth speaker
Image: ESOTICA
As someone who spent much of her youth watching episodes of Criss Angel’s Mind Freak while holed up in my room listening to angsty playlists, I really wish this levitating Bluetooth speaker was created a decade earlier. The 360-degree surround stereo rotates with the rhythm of the music because ~magic~ and you can add it to your cart for $85.99.
This hyperrealistic onion pillow
Image: YJ-Bear
This past Prime Day, your friendly, neighborhood Mashable shopping writers unearthed the mysterious world of realistic-looking 3D food pillows. We’ve been well acquainted with both the glistening chicken leg and sunny-side up egg pillow for awhile now, but this circular onion option is worth mentioning. Get it for $13.99.
A tasty edible tarantula
Image: Newport Jerky Company
Getting your daily suggested serving of protein can be tough. Simplify your meal prep by adding this $24.99 dehydrated zebra tarantula to your favorite Instant Pot meal instead! It’s apparently seasoned with a light dusting of BBQ seasoning, so there’s that.
A bundle of 100 misprint pens
Image: ballpoint pens
Spelling and grammar errors can be utterly devastating. And just like one comma stands in the way of making “let’s eat, Grandma,” into “let’s eat Grandma,” a misspelled business name on marketing products can be one giant facepalm moment. Lucky for you, you can snag a bundle pens with misprinted logos and company names for $15.99 making one pen company’s “whoops” your savings on an island of misfit pens.
