Mother of accidental gunshot victim says pain of daughter's death will never subside

"Today, I'll go to pick out my daughter's funeral clothes — and my goal and my dream in life was to pick out her wedding dress."

This was the somber message Tuesday from Alexandra Thomas, a youth pastor who lost her daughter Friday night to an accidental gunshot Friday night, as she met with reporters at West Akron's House of the Lord church.

Thomas, accompanied Tuesday by her husband, Damon Thomas Sr., spoke about the pain of losing her daughter, Jalisa Buchanan, and the trauma family members must now cope with for all their lives. Buchanan was the mother of six children, ranging in age from eight months to 12 years.

"I just want my daughter's children to have some sense of normalcy, I look at our youngest grandson who is (too young to realize) his mom has passed and isn't around — and we watch him look for her, we watch him look for his mom," Thomas said.

Thomas said her daughter was at a trusted friend's house Friday evening — a place where she and her children had been before and where she felt safe.

"It was just adults having fun drinking and deciding to move to another location to party — and one adult choosing to retrieve their handgun. And here we sit today, having this conversation, because choices impact lives," she said.

Buchanan, 29, was driving the vehicle with her friend sitting in the passenger seat and an acquaintance, Denzel Ayers, 31, sitting in the back passenger seat. Thomas said her daughter and Ayers were merely acquaintances, and her daughter didn't realize Ayers had a gun.

"I believe she knew him, but I wouldn't believe that she would consider him a friend," Thomas said. "Jalisa would have removed herself from any situation where she felt she was in imminent danger; she would've called me."

According to Akron Police Captain Michael Miller, a short while after Buchanan left the party and while the vehicle was traveling in the 900 block of Stadelman, Ayer's weapon discharged. The bullet grazed him in the leg before striking and killing Buchanan.

"The officers were reasonably sure that based on the follow-up steps that they took, the interviews they conducted and the evidence in the car that (the shooting) appeared to be an accident," Miller said. "There was no information that the detectives uncovered that there was any sort of conflict between (Buchanan and Ayers) and that the shooting was intentional."

While Ayers was subsequently charged with negligent homicide and having weapons while intoxicated, Thomas is unsure whether the potential punishment for such offenses is severe enough.

"So for me, I don't feel like it's a large enough charge. Do I feel like he should be charged with murder? No," she said. "It's not fair that my daughter has lost her life and her children will have to live the rest of their lives without their mother and it seems like he will simply get a slap on the wrist," Thomas said.

She believes involuntary manslaughter seems like the more appropriate charge, but doesn't know if that is the way that the prosecutors will want to go.

"Do I want this young man to spend the rest of their life in prison or anything like that? No. But a misdemeanor and potentially a short time in the county jail doesn't seem to suffice," Thomas said. "(However,) there is no sentence that would heal or close the wound that we are feeling."

Miller said other charges could be added.

"I'm not sure of all of the specifics about what condition Ayers was in," Miller said. "I was told there was some degree of belief that he was intoxicated. And if those are the true facts, then it would be worthy of consideration to determine if additional charges should apply."

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Thomas doesn't know whether Ayers had the firearm legally and said her daughter's death is an example of how every choice, every decision we make has far-reaching consequences.

"(Ayers) made the choice to bring his gun out of the house and made the choice to bring it into the car without asking if it was okay and made the choice to be irresponsible; my daughter didn't have a choice to live or die that night, he made that choice for her," Thomas said.

The public defender assigned to represent Ayers did not immediately return a call requesting comment on the case.

Buchanan, the youngest of Thomas's two children, was the mother of five girls and one boy. The children are currently in her care while she works to gain full custody.

Thomas said the trauma from losing their mother will affect the children for the rest of their lives.

"I have a 12-year-old texting their mom saying 'you didn't deserve it' and I have an 8-month-old and an 18-month-old who I wonder if they will remember their mom — and the impact of this on their lives is yet to be seen," Thomas said.

Buchanan's big heart was always apparent, her mother said. Whether as a teenager assisting struggling friends or as an adult and a mother dealing with her own troubles, she was always quick to lend a helpful hand.

"She was just a loving person who shared and gave whatever she had, even though she didn't have a lot," Thomas said. "One of the things that she was passionate about was (working with) senior citizens. She enjoyed working at nursing homes with the older patients; she didn't find it to be a chore."

"She always wanted to help people and the people who really knew her knew how big her heart was and how much she cared and how much she gave," Thomas said.

Buchanan completed her medical assistant program in April and was waiting to begin her externship at Pioneer Health Services. Her position would have started Monday.

"She was really looking forward to getting into her career and getting into a pediatric or geriatric office," Thomas said.

Reporter Anthony Thompson can be reached at ajthompson@gannett.com, or on Twitter @athompsonABJ

This article originally appeared on Akron Beacon Journal: Mother of Akron woman killed in gun accident share family's trauma