My mother's 100th birthday
I have been writing articles for this paper since 2004.
I have shared about many things through those years. But the one thing that seemed to speak to people the most has been the article I wrote about my parents. After my father passed, I wrote about my mother and her dementia.
I shared about the struggles of caregiving to someone with dementia. About her struggles in understanding what was happening to her. About how hard it is to not be upset and take everything personal. My articles on dementia seemed to speak to people since it affects so many families.
A little over 10 years ago, I had to put my mother in a nursing home’s memory care unit. It was a hard thing to do, but it has turned out to be the best thing I could have done for her. I have shared the ups and downs. I have shared the good and the bad. The good seemed to happen less and less, but it was still there. I understood it was about the moment.
I watched her fight off pneumonia and then C-diff. When COVID hit and visitation was limited, I wasn’t sure if my mother would make it. Because of her dementia and me being afraid that I could make matters worse for her and the people caring for her, I chose to not visit with her by phone or face time. There were months I didn’t speak to her. The nursing home kept me up to date on her one or two times a week.
When we were allowed to visit in person again, I was amazed that it seemed that my absence had not affected her. Even her dementia didn’t seem any worse.
On Nov. 2, we celebrated her 100th birthday. When we told her we were going to have a big party for her, she was excited. When we told her she was going to be 100, she wasn’t sure about that. She said, “That sounds old!”
The nursing home planned a wonderful party for her. She was the most excited that I had seen her in a long time. As her family gathered around her, she was all smiles. The amazing thing was that she seemed to be on the same page with everyone there. She even picked at her grandson. I mean she picked at him hard and just laughed and giggled.
As we sat around the table, she sipped her punch as I fed her some cake. She said the cake was good with every bite. She may not have remembered the party a few hours afterwards. But she enjoyed the party with everything she had in her. The party wore her out. We all gave her kisses and took her back to her room to rest.
As the family left, we were so grateful for such a wonderful time that God had given us to be together. Never give up on your loved one with dementia.
This article originally appeared on The Times-Mail: My mother's 100th birthday
