A mother's wisdom: Count your blessing and keep your inner joy
COSHOCTON — When Barb Bergerson sees a plaque in her home that reads "Count Your Blessings" she thinks of her own mother and the life lessons imparted to her that she's tried to pass onto others.
While Bergerson never had any children herself, many view her as a mother-like figure and she's always had compassion for children. It's a reminder for Mother's Day that being a mom doesn't just mean raising your own offspring.
Bergerson is active in her church, Coshocton Christian Tabernacle, and spends time with her great-nieces and great-nephews. Being in a wheelchair is an obstacle, but it doesn't hold her back from reaching out to others. She doesn't dwell on it and doesn't want others to either.
Finding connections
Bergerson moved to Coshocton three years ago from Wellsville, New York, in order to be closer to her niece's family. Bergerson knew she would be recovering from a surgery for several months and would have time to connect with her niece, Amanda Fink, and her four children.
The middle two children stay overnight with Bergerson from time to time while the youngest, 5-years-old, has a playdate at least once a week.
"Because I've not married and not had kids, she just views me as a big kid," Bergerson said. "One time I went to cut something and she said, 'you're allowed to use big scissors?' Another time she wanted a fried egg and I said 'I can fry you and egg,' and she said surprised, 'you know how to cook?'"
Fink and her family went to the Tabernacle and that's how Bergerson wound up attending services there. Her attendance was sporadic for health reasons, but she's been going to the church full time since 2021.
She worked from home to update the church directory. A member of the church visits Bergerson about once a week to help her with physical therapy exercises. This encouraged her to work with others in the church to form the Helping Hands group, where individuals use their skills to help others in the congregation. A future goal is to help start a women's ministry.
"I was brought up that your church is your second family and everybody has to do their part. The Bible talks about being the hands and feet (of God), so I will not let the wheelchair limit me," Bergerson said. "It's a challenge, but one where I just look for different avenues of how I can still do things."
Bergerson is in a wheelchair due to complications from chemotherapy from ovarian cancer. It caused nerve damage in her hands and feet. She went from a cane to a walker and now uses a wheelchair and walker to get around. Surgeons have twice prepared her for the possibility of amputation, but she believes God saw her through both times.
"My philosophy has always been, you can choose to be bitter or you can choose to be better, and I choose to be better," she said.
The Card Lady
She spent most of 2020 in medical facilities in Columbus recovering from five different surgeries. During that time, she wrote cards to church members. This ranged from standard birthday and holiday cards to notes of encouragement and best wishes. When she was able to return to the Tabernacle, her nickname became the Card Lady."
Sending cards was something Bergerson had done for years. She sent cards to about 50 youth regularly while still living in Wellsville. Her cards are filled with confetti and stickers.
"I want to send cards to people of different ages and for different reasons, but one area that really touches my heart is kids and teenagers," she said. "I don't think there's been a Sunday yet where a kid hasn't come up to thank me for a card."
Even in the social media age, Bergerson knows it means a lot to a child to receive something with their name on it in the mail. She also wants to encourage others to pursue their dreams.
Lessons from her mother
That's something she took from her mother, who told Bergerson to meet people and accept them where they are in life. You then encourage them to move forward. That was a reason she taught GED prep and journal writing in jails for more than 10 years.
"I got to know the inmates on a one-on-one basis and find out what they still hoped to do with their lives," Bergerson said. "I couldn't relate to their pasts and why they were in jail, but I could accept them for who they are and try to get them on the right path."
Bergerson was the youngest of four and was very close to her mother, Patricia. They lived together after Bergerson's father died and through that became more than mother and daughter, but friends.
"She was certainly a woman of faith and would often pray," Bergerson said. "I enjoyed watching her pray and pouring her heart out to God. She was a very loving person and cared a lot for other people. I think that's why I care so much for other people."
Patricia died of a different form of ovarian cancer than what Bergerson had. The year and a half between her diagnosis and death was surprisingly one of the best times of their lives.
"We were able to talk about what is life after death," Bergerson said. "If she had a good day, she'd say, 'hey, let's go get ice cream.' If she was having a bad day, I'd just hold her hand and be still with her."
During that period she learned two life lessons from Patricia she's tried to live by and share with others. One is to count your blessings, as her plaque reads, and other is that no person or situation can rob you of your inner joy.
"Whether you see a cardinal outside, get a card in the mail or have a day with no pain, there's always something to be thankful for," she said. "God provides an inner joy that no matter what may happen physically to me, I can still be happy and know there's a reason for what I'm going through."
Leonard Hayhurst is a community content coordinator and general news reporter for the Coshocton Tribune with close to 15 years of local journalism experience and multiple awards from the Ohio Associated Press. He can be reached at 740-295-3417 or llhayhur@coshoctontribune.com. Follow him on Twitter at @llhayhurst.
This article originally appeared on Coshocton Tribune: A mother's wisdom: Count your blessing and keep your inner joy
