'It really is a huge sacrifice': Moving from Singapore to France for love

A Millennial's Dating Diary series explores real-life interactions and the hurdles of dating in Southeast Asia. The series features the dating stories and misadventures of Arika – a 26-year-old, straight female marketing manager with a penchant for over drinking — and fellow millennials. (*Names have been changed on request)

A couple of years ago, *Kerianne, 29, met her partner on a free language learning app that connects learners to native speakers.

At the time, Kerianne was interested in learning French while *Vincent, her partner, wanted to improve his English.

When she first met, Vincent, Kerianne was drawn in by Vincent’s sense of humour. When she met him in person, it took her by surprise just how handsome she thought he was.

Through FaceTime calls and chats, they both realised just how much they had in common and the unbelievable chemistry they shared. In fact, some of their calls lasted up to nine hours, which was a great sign.

Seeing that the two were after serious and committed relationships, they decided to give their relationship a try.

Amid the pandemic, a long-distance relationship was the couple’s only choice. A year into the relationship, they reviewed their status and ultimately, knew that they both wanted to bridge the distance.

After several discussions, Kerianne decided that moving to France made the most sense as her career and skill sets were more transferable. It also helped that her industry was more open to the idea of remote work.

Concerns about moving

Moving to France definitely wasn’t easy.

“I was concerned about not being able to assimilate well or that people would treat be differently because I’m Asian,” shared Kerianne.

Finances were also also concern as her move meant that her salary was adjusted significantly. Beyond the cultural differences, she was also concerned about how the move could have impacted her relationship with Vincent.

After all, the two were taking a huge step together; going from long-distance to suddenly seeing each other every day and living together. As expected as well, concerns surrounded the longevity of the relationship also surfaced in her mind.

Fortunately, the couple are both easy-going and understanding individuals so they’ve not experienced many issues despite the huge progression in their partnership.

Kerianne was also quick to share how Vincent was considerate and appreciative of her and her sacrifice in uprooting.

“He looked for Asian supermarkets nearby so that I could stock up on food with flavours that I was familiar with, and he’ll often check in to see that I’m doing all right,” she says.

Kerianne’s parents, too, adapted to her move and now, the family keep in touch through video calls and WhatsApp messages.

Preparing for the move to France

Prior to her move, Kerianne read about the experiences of other Singaporeans who had moved to France and was fortunate that her administrative process went relatively smoothly.

“It might be slightly tedious in terms of preparing documents to apply for your visa, but as long as you do the research, and be slightly kiasu and come overly prepared, it’s actually quite simple!”

“Oh, but I also have to acknowledge the face that being Singaporean, our passport helps a lot in making things easy in terms of visa approvals,” she revealed.

In many of her videos on TikTok, Kerianne shares some of the cultural differences that proved shocking for her.

However, she shared that she found these differences quite hilarious and enjoys observing how they play out.

“I accept and respect these differences as they are—even though some still make me uncomfortable like wearing shoes in the house, not in my house, though or addressing those older than you by their first names instead of auntie or uncle,” she said.

Life in France has been nothing short of amazing and living in the countryside means a complete change of pace for Kerianne.

The change, she says, was welcomed one, and she could finally enjoy nature and experience life at a slower pace.

Occasionally though, she shared that she struggles with the language barrier as it’s impacted her ability to make friends.

Through social media, Kerianne was able to make friends with fellow Singaporeans living in France, and is thankful that her partner’s circle of friends were accepting and welcoming of her.

Now, Kerianne’s biggest focus is on building a life with Vincent in France.

The couple might also discuss the possibility of moving back to Asia so that Kerianne can be closer to home and family.

Her biggest advice to multi-national couples considering a move like hers?

“Show extra care and appreciation for the partner moving because it really is a huge sacrifice on their part.”