After murder-suicide in Winter Haven, mother makes plea for mental-health treatment
WINTER HAVEN — She happily anticipated becoming a grandmother next month, ready to welcome baby Oliver into her household.
Instead, the Winter Haven woman is now mourning the loss of her son and his partner, along with their unborn child. Yet she is unwilling to hold a funeral, afraid that “haters” would show up to ruin it.
Such is the aftermath of a July 21 murder-suicide in the Inwood area, just outside the boundaries of Winter Haven. The Polk County Sheriff’s Office said that Riley Groover, 26, shot and killed his fiancé, Camdyn Rider, 21, who was eight months pregnant, and then fatally shot himself.
Five days later, Groover’s mother stood on the front porch of the home she shared with her son and Rider, staring across the street to a neighbor’s yard, where the shootings occurred.
“I'm in so much shock,” she said. “Pieces of memories are coming back, when people are telling me what happened because I'm just totally devastated.”
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The woman asked to be identified only by her first name, Bonnie, for security reasons and to avoid possible harassment by others unaware of the lifelong struggles with serious mental illness that she said plagued her son. Bonnie is in her early 60s, and she uses a walker, as she is in need of double hip replacement surgery.
During a one-hour conversation, Bonnie gave a detailed history of Groover’s mental illness, talked openly about the couple’s loving but highly volatile relationship and said that Rider identified as a transgender man, a fact confirmed by their Facebook page and comments from friends.
And Bonnie repeatedly emphasized the need for those with psychological issues to pursue treatment.
“People don't realize that mental illness needs to be treated,” she said. “People need counseling. I'm going to be going through grief counseling myself because I'm devastated. I lost my son. I sat by his bed, so many hospital beds, so many times after he tried to overdose and kill himself. But I loved him, no matter what. I love him. You always love your child. I'd rather him have gone to prison than to die.”
A son's troubled childhood
Bonnie said that her son showed signs of mental illness from at least the age of 4. He was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, typified by difficulty managing emotions, with tendencies toward anger, impulsiveness and severe mood swings. Groover also suffered from anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, his mother said, and had been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, a condition on the autism spectrum.
The family has a history of mental illness, Bonnie said, acknowledging that she tried to kill herself at age 22. She said counseling and medication helped her to become more stable.
Bonnie said her son had made multiple suicide attempts, starting at age 8. An undersized child with gaudy ginger hair, he was a target of bullying as a kindergartner and beaten up by a fellow student, she said.
When he was 6, he came home from school with an unexplained injury that turned out to be a broken arm. Bonnie said he suffered “a nervous breakdown” at age 7 while at school, leading to a police call and Groover being handcuffed and taken to a hospital for a psychiatric evaluation under Florida’s Baker Act.
She said her son was wrongly diagnosed with ADHD, his autism not recognized until he was 14.
Groover developed an intense fear of some teachers and desperately resisted going to classes at Inwood Elementary School. One on occasion, he scrambled under her car to avoid being taken to class. On another, he wrapped himself around a flagpole at school and “screamed like a banshee,” Bonnie said.
Groover first drew the attention of law enforcement in 2014, when he was 17. His mother said he had a dispute with a woman who then lived across the street, and he shot out a window of her house with a pellet gun.
The Polk County Sheriff’s Office charged Groover with shooting into an occupied dwelling, a felony, along with resisting arrest and battery on a law-enforcement officer. He spent time in a juvenile detention center in Tampa following the arrest. Bonnie said he received training in automotive work and earned a cooking certificate.
Though Bonnie said Groover was never violent toward her, court records show that in 2016 he was arrested on a domestic violence charge following an incident at the family’s home.
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According to the arrest report, Groover broke a bottle on the kitchen floor and used a hatchet to break several doors inside the house. As Groover left the house, a victim (whose name is redacted) saw him approach while holding what they thought was the hatchet. The victim swung at him with a broom in defense, and Groover grabbed their upper arm, causing a 3-inch gash, the report says. He was charged with domestic battery on a person over age 65, a felony, and violation of conditional release.
The State Attorney’s Office for the 10th Judicial Circuit later filed notice that it would not prosecute Groover.
Groover was arrested again in 2018 after an argument with his sister at their home turned violent. At one point, he approached his sister while holding a pocket knife, the arrest report says.
Groover’s mother moved between the two, and Groover's sister ran into the house, taking refuge in a bedroom, the report says. Groover broke in and attempted to stab her with the knife, cutting her on the belly, the report says. He was charged with aggravated battery and aggravated assault.
Two years later, the State Attorney’s Office again filed a no-prosecution order. The notice said that Groover’s sister had signed a waiver, stating that she wanted him to continue taking medications and receive treatment. The order said Groover was receiving care in a group home.
Despite all the turmoil, Groover earned a high school diploma from Ridge Technical College in Winter Haven. Bonnie said he had a license as an HVAC technician but was working as a nighttime security guard, a position that did not involve carrying a gun.
Groover talked of working for a fish and wildlife service, and he also aspired to be a professional photographer, his mother said. He created a Facebook page titled Frosty Photos, posting his images of cars drift racing at Sebring International Raceway.
'Deeply in love'
Groover and Rider began dating in early 2021, Bonnie said. At the time, Rider already identified as a transgender man, she said. Rider had stopped using their feminine given name and planned to change their name legally after marrying Groover, she said.
“Cam had told me personally that when he was younger, he was bisexual and had crushes on girls, but then he met somebody online and he identified with him, I guess, when they were talking about transgender and dysphoria and all that,” Bonnie said. “And so Cam decided he was a man and he honestly felt like he was a man. But you know, that's neither here nor there. I accepted him as he was because he loved my son.” (See related story)
Bonnie said that Camryn planned to begin a physical transition after giving birth and finishing breastfeeding. Rider’s parents could not be reached. Bonnie said they lived in the Orlando area.
Not long after Groover and Rider started dating, Bonnie invited Rider to move into her Winter Haven home.
“And I loved Cam,” she said. “Cam called me ‘Mom.’ He never called me by my name.”
Bonnie said that Rider and her son were “deeply in love.” In April 2022, Rider posted a video snippet on Facebook showing the pair singing the line, “We found love right where we are,” from the Ed Sheeran song, “Thinking Out Loud,” followed by a loud smooch.
“Oh, it's just heartbreaking to look at it,” Bonnie said. “But I watch it several times a day.”
In another post from April 2022, Rider wrote to Groover, whom they called “RJ”: “From the second I laid eyes on you I knew that I wanted you in my life. I didn't know as what yet, but I knew I wanted you there. You showed me who I can be and you showed me what love is supposed to feel like. The more we talked and hung out the more I grew to like you. … I'm so happy to say that I'm gonna marry my best friend. Thank you for everything my love. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
The couple decided to delay their wedding after Rider became pregnant, Bonnie said. They held a baby shower and gender reveal party in June with a Harry Potter theme, one of Rider’s fixations. The couple disclosed that they planned to name the baby, due Aug. 18, Oliver John Lee.
Rider wanted to be a tattoo artist and owned an ink gun, Bonnie said. She talked of letting Rider turn a back room of the house into a tattoo studio someday.
A fiery relationship
But Bonnie said the relationship also contained a combative strain, one that regularly led to loud arguments and, in some cases, physical fights. She allowed the couple to live rent-free in her 1960s-era block home but expected them to help with bills and housework, and Bonnie said her son criticized Rider for not doing enough.
“They would argue over stupid stuff — stupid stuff,” she said.
Neither Groover nor Rider ever reported violence committed by the other, the PCSO said.
During arguments, Rider would sometimes enter what Bonnie called a “catatonic state,” going silent and rigid, with a vacant stare.
Bonnie said pregnancy increased Rider's sense of gender dysphoria, or discomfort with a female body, and she suspects the hormonal surges of pregnancy worsened Rider's emotional volatility.
Bonnie suspected that Rider had traits of autism, like her son. She said Rider engaged in self-injury through cutting their arms and legs, a practice used to manage emotional pain, according to psychological experts.
“He got my son to start doing it,” Bonnie said. “When I found out my son was doing it, I told them if they didn't stop that s--- they had to leave, that they couldn't stay here. And they stopped.”
Bonnie, a former nurse now on disability, has a heart condition. She warned Groover and Rider that their arguments sometimes caused her to have chest pain.
Bonnie said she urged Rider to seek psychological counseling, but Rider refused. She said Groover had resumed therapy, meeting with a counselor in a park because he didn’t like offices. But Bonnie said her son resisted taking psychiatric medications owing to bad memories of being overmedicated in childhood.
“He didn't want to be drugged up,” she said. “He didn't want to feel nothing.”
An unimaginable horror
Bonnie said she doesn’t know exactly what precipitated the tragedy of July 21, but she expects it was another argument over household chores. She said that around 7 p.m., the dispute moved outside, and at one point Rider drove their car toward Groover in the carport, possibly striking him.
Groover used something — Bonnie doesn’t know what — to break the driver’s-side window. As of Thursday, some broken glass remained under another vehicle in the carport, and the front porch floor bore dark splotches that Bonnie said were Groover's dried blood.
Bonnie had obtained a handgun for protection on nights when Groover and Rider were away, and she kept it hidden in the house. After the clash in the carport, Groover darted into the house. He soon raced out, but Bonnie said she didn’t know he had seized her gun, a .380 pistol small enough to fit in a pants pocket.
As he ran past her, he called out, “I’m not going to jail,” Bonnie said.
Rider had retreated and run away down the long, straight street. Recalling those moments, Bonnie said she wished Rider had continued past the point where the street bends to the right, out of Groover's sight. Instead, Rider turned and came back toward Bonnie’s house.
At that point, Groover chased after Rider, Bonnie said, and Rider ran across the street, seeking refuge in a neighbor’s house. But Groover caught up, “and they got into physically fighting on the ground. And then Cam got up and ran, and Riley shot him in the back several times.”
The Medical Examiner’s Office for the 10th Judicial Circuit has not yet released autopsy reports.
Bonnie could not see her son as he moved behind a large truck parked in the neighbors’ driveway and a tall bush. She went in that direction, moving as fast as she could with her walker. She found Rider dying, with a large wound in their chest.
Her son was on the ground, not far from Rider, his eyes still open. Bonnie asked if he had shot himself, and he said yes, pointing to the left side of his head, though he was right-handed. Bonnie picked up the gun so that Groover could not grab it and shoot himself again.
A neighbor had called 911, and a team of Polk County sheriff’s deputies soon arrived. A medical crew rushed Rider to Winter Haven Hospital, but they and the baby were soon pronounced dead. Groover died a short time later.
Bonnie’s hands trembled as she recalled that horrible evening. She said some of her description came not from her own memories but from what others told her, including the neighbors across the street, whose security cameras recorded video of the shootings.
“I know I'm stuttering because I have so much anxiety,” she said. “I’m just beside myself, just trying not to break out into tears. It just comes in waves.”
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Adding to her distress, the PCSO Animal Control unit took away her dog, Wally, so that deputies could search her house after the shootings. She received the dog back after a few days, but she said Wally was showing signs of being traumatized by his time in the shelter, refusing to put his head in her lap or wag his tail. By Thursday, though, Wally was behaving more normally, she said.
Bonnie also said she has been receiving unwanted offers to buy her house following news reports about the murder-suicide.
'Wasn't in his right mind'
Bonnie has largely avoided social media since July 21, wary of seeing her son denounced by strangers.
“My friends and family are actually, like, ‘Riley was a terrorist’ because of what he did, but he wasn't in his right mind,” she said. “And people do bad things when they're not in their right mind, you know?”
Rider’s parents visited Winter Haven to claim their belongings, and Bonnie said they were understandably upset. They took all the baby items, planning to give them to a relative who is giving birth soon.
Asked about holding a service for her son, Bonnie said, “No, because I don't want haters there taking pictures and stuff. I don't want them because I couldn't mentally handle it.”
Bonnie’s stepdaughter came to stay with her for a few days, and her brother is coming down from Massachusetts. She plans to have Groover cremated, and she will blend his ashes with those of her mother and her stepfather to be placed in a pendant for a necklace.
While acknowledging the inexplicable evil of her son’s final actions, Bonnie emphasized his loving tendencies and his many acts of kindness. She recalled that the night before the tragedy, Groover came in to kiss her good night and mentioned her upcoming appointment with a cardiologist.
“And he said, ‘I love you, Mom. You can't die before me.’ ”
Gary White can be reached at gary.white@theledger.com or 863-802-7518. Follow on Twitter @garywhite13.
This article originally appeared on The Ledger: Mother urges mental-health treatment after Winter Haven murder-suicide
