'A very bossy big sister': Sandra Day O'Connor receives her final goodbye in Phoenix

Sandra Day O’Connor’s Arizona roots and her unforgettable drive and friendship were hailed during a final tribute on Friday in Phoenix, capping a week of memorials to the woman who rose from a desolate ranch to become the first woman on the Supreme Court.

With hundreds on hand at the Madison Center for the Arts, her family welcomed a succession of those whose lives O’Connor touched to the invite-only event. Unlike many of the official tributes and professional appraisals of her legal record, this was an occasion to remember a mother and mentor, a socialite and a friend.

O’Connor, 93, died Dec. 1 in Phoenix after years of battling dementia. President Ronald Reagan named her to the Supreme Court in 1981 and she served there until 2006.

Befitting O’Connor’s climb from the dusty expanse of the Lazy B ranch near Duncan to the highest rungs of power in Washington, the tribute attracted the powerful and the prominent and affection and appreciation for the otherwise obscure team who tended to her health in her final years.

Former Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy spoke in praise of her friendship. Other VIPs, such as former Vice President Dan Quayle, former Ambassador Cindy McCain, Gov. Katie Hobbs, former Gov. Jan Brewer and Phoenix Mayor Kate Gallego were on hand in a show of appreciation.

Ruth McGregor, who clerked for O’Connor during her historic debut on the court in the 1981-82 term and later became the chief justice of the Arizona Supreme Court, recounted her decades of friendship working on projects, such as advocating civics and the value of an independent judiciary, to their respites in southeastern Arizona in O’Connor’s retirement.

“She played the role of my big sister — a very bossy big sister,” McGregor said, drawing a knowing laughter from the judges, law professors and personal acquaintances on hand.

People know O’Connor was a history-making justice, McGregor said, but that was only part of her story.

O’Connor was “a judge who was brilliant, strategic, determined, decisive and sometimes stern. She was all those things. But the Sandra O’Connor we celebrate today was so much more. She was warm, loyal, funny, adventurous, loving and kind.”

McGregor invoked O’Connor’s memorable assessment of what O’Connor called “the tombstone question” wanting to know how she wanted to be remembered.

“If ever there was a life well lived and well examined, it was the life of Sandra O’Connor. When asked the tombstone question, she always replied that she would be content if inscribed on it were the words, ‘Here lies a good judge.’ But if she would permit one final editing suggestion from a former law clerk, I would propose that we add: And an even better person.”

Kennedy said he and his wife, Mary, had misgivings about accepting his nomination to the Supreme Court, largely out of concern they would be socially isolated in Washington. O’Connor quickly put that concern to rest.

“Sandra and (her husband, John O’Connor) knew this and they made all the difference,” Kennedy said. “They did something that many others might be reluctant to do. They shared with us their closest friends. Because of Sandra and John, the sense of place that we found in Washington was immediate and warm.”

He quickly learned not to overbid when playing bridge if O’Connor was your partner.

He noted that O’Connor, whose dancing with John O’Connor was legendary, scheduled a midnight tango in Argentina that the Kennedys had to join as well.

“Friendships created a splendid life for Sandra, and she wanted the same for us,” Kennedy said. “The O’Connors' friendship with us was the rock upon which we built our lives in Washington.”

Scott O’Connor, O'Connor's son, said his mother’s legacy continues with her push for an informed public through iCivics, a nationwide program that reaches 10 million students each year and for which Sandra O’Connor never received a penny.

Friday’s event in Phoenix was the last of three major tributes to O’Connor.

On Monday, she lay in repose in the Supreme Court in Washington with about 80 of her former clerks on hand to honor the woman who reshaped the court. On Tuesday, President Joe Biden and Chief Justice John Roberts eulogized O’Connor at Washington National Cathedral.

Scott O’Connor said Friday’s celebration of his mother is the last service for her.

Her ashes will be buried alongside John O’Connor’s on a remote mountaintop at the Lazy B ranch.

'A terrific first': Remembering Sandra Day O'Connor with historian Linda Hirshman

This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Sandra Day O'Connor to have private funeral ceremony in Phoenix