Who needs Trump when there's a smarmy Ohioan? Vivek Ramaswamy debate's most grating| Columnist

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Jon Gabriel is editor-in-chief of Ricochet.com and a contributor to The Arizona Republic and azcentral.com. On Twitter: @exjon.

If the first GOP presidential primary debate showed us anything, it’s that 2024 is going to be a long, long campaign.

Especially if Columbus-area resident Vivek Ramaswamy sticks around.

The 38-year-old tech entrepreneur spent the evening interrupting, ridiculing and shouting over the more seasoned candidates, at least when he wasn’t demanding more time from the moderators.

The Cincinnati native wrapped his performance in an over-caffeinated swagger and supercilious tone that clearly got on his competitors’ nerves.

More: Did Vivek Ramaswamy come out of nowhere? 6 Cartoons about first Republican debate

If Wednesday night’s debate were a TV show, it would be called “Everybody Hates Vivek.”

Ramaswamy was the most grating candidate

Businessman Vivek Ramaswamy and former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley speak during a Republican presidential primary debate hosted by FOX News Channel Wednesday, Aug. 23, 2023, in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
Businessman Vivek Ramaswamy and former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley speak during a Republican presidential primary debate hosted by FOX News Channel Wednesday, Aug. 23, 2023, in Milwaukee. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)

This is the first time most voters have been exposed to Ramaswamy and likely found him as grating as his fellow candidates did. It was hard to tell if he wanted my vote or was trying to sell me a ’96 Buick.

Opening with a flurry of canned lines, he complained “everyone else has these canned lines.” Former Vice President Mike Pence quipped, “Is that one of yours?”

Later, Ramaswamy insisted he was “the only person on the stage who isn’t bought and paid for.”

More: Who is Vivek Ramaswamy? Ohio presidential candidate to take stage in first GOP debate

“No, hold on, hold on. Enough,” Former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie responded. “I’ve had enough already tonight of a guy who sounds like ChatGPT.”

It only took 15 minutes before everyone was dumping on the tech bro.

Introducing himself, Ramaswamy asked, “What’s a skinny guy with an odd last name doing up here?” Christie noted that line was plagiarized from Barack Obama in 2008.

More: Ohioan Vivek Ramaswamy takes heat in first Republican presidential debate

“I’m afraid we’re dealing with the same type of amateur tendencies tonight,” Christie added.

He has no business running for president

It’s no wonder Ramaswamy focused on his competition instead of himself. He has no business running for the White House.

He has admitted that the first presidential election he ever voted in was 2020.

Of course, he chose Donald Trump, a man he’s spent most of his campaign defending, though not outright endorsing. At least not yet.

In his campaign, Ramaswamy called race-based admissions “a cancer on our national soul,” yet accepted a Soros Fellowship for children of immigrants to help pay for Yale Law School.

He’s so embarrassed by this fact, he reportedly paid to have the fellowship scrubbed from his Wikipedia page.

After graduation, the candidate made his biotech fortune, investing in a business founded by his friend Martin Shkreli. Before long, Shkreli was sentenced to seven years in prison for securities fraud.

Ramaswamy’s weakest answer on Wednesday evening was during the foreign policy segment, where he insisted the United States abandon Ukraine.

Another view: Chris Christie was the debate's real winner

The normally mild-mannered Nikki Haley, former ambassador to the United Nations, took him to the woodshed.

The crowd cheered the tongue-lashing, which she finished with, “You have no foreign policy experience, and it shows.”

Looking for a Trump appointment, is he?

Perhaps the biggest beneficiary of Vivek’s fizzle was Ron DeSantis, who’s running neck-and-neck with the neophyte. The governor let the others pile on, while he stuck to his record in Florida and what he would do in the Oval Office.

Ramaswamy is this primary’s Pete Buttigieg, if the former South Bend, Ind., mayor downed a case of Red Bulls before stepping on the debate stage.

Both are TED Talks in human form; smarmy apple polishers who only got good grades by studying to the test.

It’s likely Ramaswamy will end his campaign the same way, stepping aside for the eventual winner. No one knows this better than Vivek himself, who’s spent the primary praising Trump more than Trump does.

If somehow, against the odds and the law courts, the former president is sent back to the White House, the young upstart will be richly rewarded.

Hopefully, he’ll enjoy the next four years as secretary of transportation.

Jon Gabriel is editor-in-chief of Ricochet.com and a contributor to The Arizona Republic and azcentral.com. On Twitter: @exjon.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: How Vivek Ramaswamy 'won' first place at playing Donald Trump at first debate