How Negative Self-Talk Is Killing Your Health and Weight-Loss Goals

"Idiot! I can't believe I'm so stupid. What am I going to do now? She must hate me. I'm hopeless!"

This sounds familiar, doesn't it? It's the negative self-talk we all indulge in. For me, it happened recently when I discovered I'd made a mistake with a client. I hurt her feelings, and took responsibility for my part in the miscommunication, but the lingering effect of my nasty internal dialogue lasted much longer than the original incident.

We all mess up sometimes. Whether we discover that we ate a forbidden food by mistake (that sautéed chicken had a sugary glaze?!), lock ourselves out of the house (and spend 80 bucks on a locksmith) or hurt someone's feelings (who among us hasn't said something they wish they could immediately take back), these accidents and missteps will happen again and again for the rest of our lives.

We can't avoid mistakes, but we can avoid the harsh self-talk we often punish ourselves with. Doing so could change your life.

Self-talk, or your inner dialogue, is perfectly normal. You may have noticed little kids speaking their inner thoughts out loud, and that as they grow older, they stop. The talk doesn't end, it just stays inside their heads. Self-talk is a way that humans learn, or repeat ideas of encouragement or censor.

Why is transforming your self-talk into a soundtrack of positivity important to your weight-loss goals? Because negative self-talk can drive you to overeat as a way to calm or numb yourself. What's more, the physical stress created by negative thoughts can create the metabolic state that makes weight loss difficult, if not impossible.

Here are four common types of negative self-talk to watch out for:

-- Perfectionism/Polarizing: Things are either good or bad -- there's no middle ground. If you're not perfect, you're a total failure.

-- Catastrophizing: You dream up the worst possible outcome, and small issues are harbingers of doom.

-- Rationalization: You blame yourself for everything bad that happens. For instance, if a few friends don't make it to your party, you assume no one likes you.

-- Filtering: You search for the negative aspects of any given situation, filtering out any positive ones. The vacation was mostly great, but you complain to yourself and others about the delayed flight home, rather than sharing the delights of the trip.

Negative self-talk can contribute to stress and even depression, which put the body into terrible metabolic state. According to the Mayo Clinic, negative self-talk can induce physical as well as emotional stress, harming your cardiovascular health, gut health and immune system.

So what can you do? Try one of these four ways to transform your negative thinking into positive:

1. Track the thinking.

Focus on one area of your life where you want to catch and transform your negative thoughts. Perhaps it's your work, relationship status, eating habits, exercise routine or commute.

2. Say your name.

Research led by University of Michigan psychologist Ethan Kross suggests that people who say "I", "me" or "my" when talking to themselves are more likely to fall prey to negative thought spirals than people who use their first name in talking back to the thoughts. So when arguing against your negative thoughts, try using your name, which helps you be less harsh and more of a friend to yourself. Transform those thoughts from, "I can't do it!" to, "Alex, you can do this." Instead of "You'll never get the hang of this," try, "You'll figure this out, Alex!"

3. Write the words down.

Check your thinking throughout the day and stop to write down your latest negative thought. Just starting to track these thoughts can help you see that the thoughts aren't true and can help them dissolve quickly. British psychologist Charles Fernyhoughbeen known has to say, "putting our thoughts into words gives them more tangible from, which makes them easier to use." Then, find a concrete example for why your negative thought is not true, overly dramatic, filtering or personalized. In other words, argue with your negative thoughts.

For example, if you think you're never going to lose the extra weight and might as well eat a whole pizza just because you had a cookie after lunch when you promised you wouldn't, you could write this down: "I ate a cookie today, but that doesn't wipe out all the healthy eating and exercise I've done this week. I'm going to get a bottle of water and go enjoy a walk with my favorite podcast."

If you thought, "He doesn't care about me," try writing, "I'll see if I can open up our communication." If you thought, "I'm never going to get the hang of this," try writing, "I can try to make this work! What new way can I try this time?"

4. Draw a positive circle.

Who in your life is a positive thinker? Do you know a few people who are more positive than others who you can consciously spend more time with? Jim Rohn once said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." We humans have mirror neurons which help us mimic and empathize with each other. When you spend more time with uplifting, action-oriented people, you're more likely to take positive action as well. Which friend loves to go on nature hikes? Which friend doesn't drink alcohol and needs company for tea or the bookstore? Does someone in your family like making healthy food and making you laugh? Hang out with them!

This practice of noticing and arguing against your negative thoughts takes practice, but it will create huge benefits in your life. Don't try to become an optimist overnight. Instead, have some compassion for yourself! Over time, you'll get better at these new skills and they will become easier to use.

Alexandra Jamieson is a functional nutrition coach, chef and mom. She was the co-creator of the Oscar-nominated documentary "Super Size Me" and authored the "self-health" book "Women, Food & Desire," published in January 2015 by Gallery Books. Alex has been seen on Oprah, The Today Show, Martha Stewart Living, CNN, Fox News, USA Today and People magazine. She offers remarkably sane -- and tasty -- advice on how to detox, live healthfully and feel fantastic. She lives in Brooklyn, where she juggles, somewhat gracefully, raising her 8-year-old son, trying new gluten-free recipes, running her company and riding her bicycle to the food co-op. Alex is accredited through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, Columbia University Teacher's College and the American Association of Drugless Practitioners.