Netflix Orders ‘Squid Game’ Reality Series, Which Sounds Wild but Is Just Dumb

Apparently nobody at Netflix has actually watched Squid Game despite the fact that it was one of the streamer’s most popular offerings last year. If they had watched the dystopian drama about a deadly competition presided over by a creepy giant robot doll, surely they would not be adapting it into a real-life reality series, right?

Wrong. On Tuesday, Netflix revealed plans to spin-off the critically acclaimed Korean import into the “biggest reality competition ever.” Squid Game: The Challenge boasts the largest cast and largest cash prize in the history of reality television. The ambitious new series will have 456 players (just like in Squid Game) facing off in a series of games to win $4.56 million.

The challenges will be inspired by the classic childrens’ games from the original series, plus some new additions. We’re assuming contestants will not actually be putting their lives at risk playing Red Light, Green Light—although given the bleak state of the world of late, that’s not as far-fetched an idea as it should be. These are the same heartless folks who canceled The Baby-Sitter’s Club earlier this year, after all. And just yesterday, it was announced that Lady Gaga is in talks to star in a musical sequel to Todd Phillips’ Joker, a prospect almost as apocalyptic as real-life Squid Game.

Netflix’s head of global TV Bela Bajaria dropped the bombshell during a panel at the Banff World Media Festival. “Squid Game took the world by storm with [Squid Game director Hwang Dong-hyuk’s] captivating story and iconic imagery,” said Brandon Riegg, Netflix VP of unscripted and documentary series in a statement. “We’re grateful for his support as we turn the fictional world into reality in this massive competition and social experiment. Fans of the drama series are in for a fascinating and unpredictable journey as our 456 real world contestants navigate the biggest competition series ever, full of tension and twists, with the biggest-ever cash prize at the end.”

‘Squid Game’ Is the Most Disturbing Show I’ve Ever Seen. How Is It So Popular?

Casting for Squid Game: The Challenge is open to anyone from around the world as long as you speak English—an awfully ironic requirement for a spin-off of a South Korean series. The show will consist of ten episodes, which does not feel like enough to get to know 456 contestants. How are we supposed to figure out who to root for and who is just there to land diet tea Instagram sponsorships? How will we learn everyone’s respective tragic backstories? These are essential parts of the modern-day reality competition viewing experience.

Netflix has had a rocky year so far between dips in subscribers, backlash over canceling beloved shows, and criticism of the company’s continued defense of platforming transphobic comedians Dave Chapelle and Ricky Gervais.

It seems that the new content strategy is to milk the few remaining popular series at the risk of sacrificing quality, like blowing $30 million per episode to produce season four of Stranger Things only for it to be the show’s weakest season yet. And now, the struggling streaming platform is undermining the integrity of Squid Game by turning it into a glorified version of MTV’s The Challenge, down to the copycat name. Ted Sarandos, if you’re reading this, give us a call. We just want to talk.

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