These Newport County eating challenges will leave you stuffed and possibly with a T-shirt
The desire to push and even exceed our mental and physical limits is intrinsic to human nature, something fundamental to our very core and a key to our evolutionary success on this planet.
To that end, The Daily News has compiled a short list of grotesque and wondrous food challenges available to the intrepid eaters of Newport County.
Whether it’s an omelet the size of a healthy elementary school student or an awful lot of Awful Awfuls, here are some ways to truly transcend your gastrointestinal limitations and possibly win a free T-shirt:
The Hungry Monkey
The Hungry Monkey, located on Broadway in Newport, has possibly the most famous food challenge around: Its King Kong Omelet Challenge has put nine victorious eaters on the wall of fame, and sent 532 aspiring legends home in defeat.
Newport Food Scene: As temperatures fall, dig into a pot pie at these area restaurants
All you have to do to get your picture on the wall, win a T-shirt and get the $30 omelet for free is put away a 15-egg, five-pound omelet filled with literally every topping the restaurant has to offer, with a side of home fries and four pieces of toast. Pro tip: serious connoisseurs of competitive eating know it’s the bread that’ll get you.
On a side note, the Hungry Monkey was featured on the Travel Channel series Man vs. Food back in 2021, with host Casey Webb taking on a custom-designed “Go Bananas French Toast Challenge”: a four-pound plate of cream cheese-stuffed French toast topped with fruit, syrup and powdered sugar.
Newport Creamery
Newport Creamery offers the longest-running food challenge on Aquidneck Island, a classic Rhode Island deal for a free 24-ounce Awful Awful milkshake. The caveat is you would actually be winning your fourth Awful Awful of the day, since you have to drink three in order to win and get the fourth one free.
By way of inspiration for the faint-hearted and dairy sensitive, the Man vs. Food guy crushed three Awful Awfuls in eight minutes. Is that a record? Maybe only the true locals know for sure.
Wally’s Wieners
Wally’s Wieners, on Thames Street in Newport, recently revamped its challenge after deeming it too easy. Turns out consuming a quadruple Wynter burger with a grilled cheese bun, two wally weiners, one Nashville hot barkin’ bun chicken sandwich, and a chocolate shake in 15 minutes or less is child’s play for your average hungry sailor or Salve student.
Going out in Newport: A night out or hosting a big group, these two new spots add style to Newport's nightlife
Now, the 15-minute time limit still stands, but the new challenge menu is a Mac burger; four signature weiners — the wally, the slaw, the chili cheese and the buffalo, a buffalo barkin’ bun chicken sandwich, and a milkshake of any flavor. The server who answered the phone said nobody has won the challenge yet, with the most recent challenger this winter throwing in the towel with two minutes still on the clock.
Is it even possible to crush such a gargantuan meal in 15 minutes? Maybe if you’re a professional.
“I don’t think anything is impossible … but you probably need to have training as a competitive eater," the employee on the phone said. "Not just anybody off the street can eat this much food in 15 minutes.”
Unrelated but worth knowing about is Wally’s (mar) Tini Wienie Tuesday, which offers a hot wiener and a chilled martini for $16 every week.
Newport Vineyards
Newport Vineyards, located on East Main Road in Middletown, offers a special eating contest that comes but once a year, at the annual Harvest Fest. While the Harvest Fest has been postponed since 2019 because of the pandemic, it is back on the calendar for Oct. 29-30, and so is its fifth annual pie-eating contest featuring housemade crust and locally sourced fruit.
New in Newport: A year ago he was helping Afghani evacuees. Now he's just opened Newport's newest cafe.
Contestants are called from the crowd, where they each race to eat one pie, without using their hands, as fast as possible. The competition is time-limited, and the judges determine who ate the most pie in the allotted amount of time.
Winner gets a $25 gift card to the vineyard and a lot of blueberry filling all over their face, though to be fair, every contestant gets pie all over their face.
Kendra from Newport Vineyards said the competition was a fan favorite, and they decided to bring it back since watching hometown folks smash homemade pies is always a crowd pleaser.
Be on the lookout for Harvest Fest tickets to go on sale if you want to be crowned the 2022 pie-eating champion of Newport County.
This article originally appeared on Newport Daily News: Eating challenges at Hungry Monkey, Newport Creamery, Wally's Wieners
