Cold case moms bond over grief, frustration: 'We needed each other'

It was November 2023, 16 months after Tabitha Nahabedian's daughter, Hayden Davis, was found shot to death, covered in a blanket on Detroit’s west side, when the grieving mother almost broke.

She was sitting on her bathroom floor crying, sweating profusely and in a daze. She couldn’t feel the chill of her bathroom’s marble tiles, she couldn’t see the window in front of her or the white walls surrounding her.

All she could visualize was her daughter, lying on the ground where police found her on Fenkell Avenue.

“I was in the moment of her,” Nahabedian said of her 29-year-old daughter, whose killing remains unsolved. She said she wanted to feel her daughter’s pain.

“Was she screaming my name? Was she calling out for her mom?” Nahabedian wondered.

“I would like to ask the killer that in court.”

What kept Nahabedian from a complete breakdown that day was a call to Alisa Sanders, another mother whose child’s unsolved killing has grown cold.

Nahabedian listened to Sanders talk about her day and found her breath again. Lately, it’s Sanders and a third mother whose child’s killing hasn’t been solved, DeLisa Glaspie, who have been keeping Nahabedian sane, she said.

The three met in October 2023 in a homicide support group for grieving family members in downtown Detroit. They bonded over the frustrations cold cases bring, including what they described as a lack of answers and communication from Detroit detectives, and got to work. They created an organization called Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground, and have been acting as a liaison between other families in their support group and the Detroit Police Department.

Glaspie lost her son, Khalil Allen, 18, in July 2023.

Sanders lost her son, Derrell "BaeBae" Rockette, 32, in December 2022.

“We needed each other ― I believe that God puts people where they need to be,” Sanders said in her home during a March interview with the Detroit Free Press.

Glaspie nodded. “Right people, right time,” she chimed in.

Detroit’s homicide clearance rate in 2024, as of June, is 54%, according to the Detroit Police Department — meaning there’s statistically just above a 50-50 chance a suspect will be charged for each killing in the city.

It’s still an increase from 2020, when the national average clearance rate reached a historic low of right under 50% as murders spiked. That year, Detroit’s clearance rate was 42%.

Despite an improvement in Detroit’s rate, Nahabedian, Sanders, and Glaspie identified a gap in services when it comes to cold cases.

The organization had a hard launch with a December 2023 rally outside the Detroit Police Department to put pressure on police and highlight other cold cases. At that point, Nahabedian hadn’t heard from a detective in a year. But the detective showed up at the rally, with her daughter’s file and flowers in hand.

That same day, Detroit Police Chief James White said right before the rally at an unrelated news conference that the department has hired social workers to act as liaisons between police and crime victims' family members to help provide comfort and transparency, although he acknowledged grieving families are not satisfied until a case is closed.

Capt. Donna McCord of Detroit's homicide unit told the Free Press that officers are working hard to improve communications with families of homicide victims. They've created a new system where automated emails are sent to detectives, reminding them to make contact with families.

And every year, the homicide unit hosts a dinner for families of homicide victims and a rally in front of the Spirit of Detroit highlighting cold and missing persons cases.

Detectives aren't losing hope, McCord said.

“We’re so passionate about it. It’s not a job to us. A lot of us have suffered loss in the city, like myself, personally," she said.

“You know the same closure, or the same closure that you didn’t get, you want to give to these families. They are victims. Their loved one has been permanently taken from them."

The national homicide clearance rate in the 1980s was about 70%. Law enforcement officials have pointed to a declining number of police officers and an increase of distrust of the police that leads to uncooperative witnesses. "Most police departments have a shortage of officers," said Isaiah "Ike" McKinnon, who served as Detroit's police chief from 1993 to 1998.

"You have officers that are doing double, triple duty. The reality is, how many of these (homcides) can you solve with the amount of officers there are?"

Already, Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground says they've helped at least seven families connect with the detectives assigned to their children’s homicides.

They’ve channeled their grief into helping others. It’s one way to honor their children’s legacy, Sanders said.

And, “it was the only way I had to survive,” Glaspie said.

“Nobody’s there when I wake up in the morning, and I’m looking at my son’s picture. And I can go two ways. I can leave out the door and go nuts and just worry about the murderer, or I can create change,” Glaspie continued.

“So now I’m smiling.”

Moms miss voices, smiles

Sanders misses her son’s voice saying, “Hey lady, whatchu doing,” which is how he’d start his near-daily phone calls with her.

Nahabedian misses her daughter's smile — “It was to die for.” She misses the many ways her daughter embraced who she was, the way she’d poke fun at the mother’s style when they’d shop together.

Glaspie misses the way her son would know when to comfort her when she came home from work with the weight of the world, and give her a big hug and a kiss.

Missing a child is one thing, the mothers said. But having no closure in their killings, not hearing from detectives for months, despite numerous attempts to reach out, “you feel like nobody cares,” Nahabedian said.

“We just didn’t want anybody else to experience that feeling. We figure if you can’t fight, let us do the fighting for you.”

In December 2023, at the one-year anniversary vigil for the death of Sanders' son at the Church of the Messiah on Detroit's east side, the mothers decided to create Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground. They were determined, Glaspie said, to not let another year go by without getting any answers from detectives.

They spoke on the phone until 4 a.m. that evening, laying the groundwork for the group.

“We all had discussed on that phone call that this is what we want to do. We want to get with families, fathers and mothers who are not getting answers like we are,” Sanders said.

Later that month, the first event was held: a rally in front of the Detroit Police Department. White, the police chief, met with the mothers after the rally, promising to read up on every one of their children’s cases, the mothers said.

The mothers have been in conversation with high-ranking officials on policy changes and have connected numerous families from their support group to their respective detectives.

Duane Hudnall’s daughter, Diamond Unique Hudnall, was killed at a New Year's Eve party on Jan. 1, 2021. A suspect, or suspects, had showed up at the party and began shooting; Diamond Hudnall was shot and killed.

The 27-year-old was a mother to two children and her father’s go-to, his “ace,” he said.

Duane Hudnall said that, at first, the detective assigned to his case kept him informed, step-by-step. A suspect had been detained, he said, but was released due to a lack of evidence and uncooperative witnesses.

A few months after Diamond Hudnall was killed, the detective on her case left the Detroit Police Department.

“Everything just shut down,” Duane Hudnall said.

The detectives on the case kept changing, some were responsive, some not, he said.

“I know they’re busy, but it seems to me like they put her file on the bottom,” he said. “It’s just … “ he sighed. “A terrible feeling.”

“It just hurts, it hurts so bad.”

Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground was able to facilitate a phone call with Duane Hudnall and the captain of the homicide unit, he said. He started to feel better, even if it was momentary.

He’s hoping to one day sit down with the detective on his daughter’s case.

Shellena Burton's son, Darius "Dez" Burton, 29, was shot and killed on the Fourth of July 2019, following an altercation at a store on Seven Mile and Mound roads. Like Diamond Hudnall's case, uncooperative witnesses have prevented closure.

The detective on Burton's son's case was also responsive at first. But as the months went by, communication stalled, she said. The mother sent a picture of her son to the detective every anniversary of his death, she said.

"I think he just forgot about my son," she said.

Shellena Burton hadn't heard from a detective in over two years until Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground connected her with Detroit police in April, she said.

Both Shellena Burton and Duane Hudnall couldn't get through interviews with the Detroit Free Press without crying.

“The only thing I can do is sit and wait, and hope they get that man before I die," Burton said.

Detroit police have struggled with retention and alleviating staffing shortages, although the department has seen improvements since increasing officers' salaries in September 2022, according to police officials.

McKinnon said a lack of response from detectives could be a sign of burnout from heavy caseloads.

"It's like driving a bus. At some point, you run out of gas," he said.

And McKinnon said the more the community distrusts the police, the less likely people are to come forward with information that could close a case. In all the interviews the Free Press had with mothers and fathers struggling to find closure, uncooperative witnesses have been a barrier in solving their children's killings.

McCord, too, said a major challenge for Detroit police in solving these cases is a lack of witnesses coming forward, as well as time.

The longer a case grows cold, "it can be challenging to put something new together," McCord said, although, in some cases, witnesses were more willing to come forward later on.

'See something, say something'

Sanders, Nahabedian, and Glaspie donned Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground shirts at the Church of the Messiah’s 17th annual Silence the Violence rally and march on June 15. This time they ditched their usual colors — black, gray, red — for bright orange, a display of unity with others at the event fighting against gun violence.

On their sleeves, the phrase: “See something, Say something.” And on the back of their shirts were their children’s names with the dates they were killed.

Nahabedian’s daughter, Hayden Davis, was shot multiple times on July 25, 2022. Her body was found on Fenkell Avenue. Her case has grown cold because there were no reported witnesses or video evidence of the killing, according to Detroit police, and because of a lack of community assistance.

Sanders’ son, Derrell "BaeBae" Rockette, was killed in December 2022. He was shot at a northwest Detroit home on Ashton Street. Police have asked for the community’s help with identifying the suspect, but the case hasn’t been solved because of “video assets challenges and delays,” police told the Free Press.

And Glaspie’s son, Khalil Allen, was shot on July 11, 2023 and died the next day, weeks before heading off to college. He was driving to get food on Detroit's west side when he was shot nine times at the intersection of West McNichols Road and the Southfield service drive.

Detroit police said people of interest in Allen’s killing have been identified, but no one has been charged because witnesses are not coming forward with information.

Anyone with information regarding these cases and others can reach out anonymously to Detroit police's homicide unit at 313-596-2260 and can send anonymous tips for a reward to CrimeStoppers at 800-SPEAKUP or www.detroitrewards.tv.

But the mothers stood strong as they marched for their children, and all others who have lost their lives to gun violence.

In May, Mothers Keeping Boots on the Ground hosted a dinner for families who lost a loved one to homicide. June’s event at the Church of the Messiah was just the latest anti-violence work the mothers have poured themselves into.

“We’re just getting started,” Sanders said.

“That’s what we do. We’re mothers. And we’re keeping boots on the ground.”

Editor's Note: An earlier version of this story misspelled the first name of Duane Hudnall. Also, the day Khalil Allen was killed was listed incorrectly. He died July 12, 2023.

Andrea Sahouri covers criminal justice for the Detroit Free Press. She can be contacted at asahouri@freepress.com.

This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Mothers Keeping Boots on the Group liasion between families, police