Deborah F. ‘Debby’ Xenakis, who taught everyone from the youngest children to high school seniors, dies

Frederick N. Rasmussen, Baltimore Sun
·4 min read

Deborah F. “Debby” Xenakis, who eschewed administrative opportunities in order to remain in the classroom with the students she loved, died of glioblastoma May 13 at her home in Tarpon Springs, Florida. The former Lutherville resident was 71.

“Debby was one of the most wonderful teachers I’ve ever encountered in my career in education and just a terrific woman,” said Sister Anne Hefner, a member of the Sisters of St. Francis of Philadelphia, who worked with Ms. Xenakis at Catholic High School.

“She engaged with students and while academics were very important to her, so was their intellectual, emotional and social growth,” she said. “Her classroom was a very happy place, and she had a deep spirituality that students caught from her.”

Noreen Lidston, former head of the lower school at McDonogh School, said: “I thought that Debby was an extraordinary person in terms of her commitment to the art of teaching and her total devotion to her students.”

Deborah Anne Falduto, daughter of Gerald Falduto, a businessman, and Alyce Falduto, was born and raised in Boonton, New Jersey.

A graduate of Morris Catholic High School in Denville, New Jersey, she earned a bachelor’s degree in 1975 in elementary education from what is now Notre Dame of Maryland University, and a master’s degree in 1984 in early childhood education from what is now Towson University.

She continued her education by taking theology courses at St. Mary’s Seminary in Baltimore and at Harvard Divinity School in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Ms. Xenakis was fond of saying, “All students have the same needs. The only difference in the students in pre-first and as seniors, is their height,” according to her husband of 48 years, Thomas Xenakis.

She began her teaching career in 1975 at St. John Catholic School in Westminster and remained there until joining the faculty of Roland Park Country School in 1979.

“It’s hard to imagine the world without Debby because she so loved teaching. She looked upon teaching as a ministry, not a job,” said Barbara D. Nazelrod, president of Catholic High School.

“She loved our students, and they knew that, and loved her back. Whenever she opened her mouth, butterflies came out,” she said.

During her career, Ms. Xenakis taught everyone from the youngest students to high school seniors.

From 1987 to 1995, she taught at McDonogh in Owings Mills.

“She was my assistant in the lower school at McDonogh but wanted to return to the classroom,” Ms. Lidston said.

“The classroom was where her heart was. She was very creative and understood children’s sense of humor. She knew what made them laugh and while she was helping them develop, at the same time they could have fun.”

She recalled the day Ms. Xenakis outfitted her students with Groucho Marx masks, including one for herself.

“They wore them all day and when other students asked, ‘Why are you wearing a mask?’ and they answered, ‘What mask?'” Ms. Lidston said. “The next day, students asked, ‘Where are your masks?’ and they replied, ‘What masks?'”

She taught for four years at the School of the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen before a decadelong stint in 1999 at the old Catholic High School in Towson, where she headed its theology department.

From 2009 until her retirement in 2014, Ms. Xenakis chaired the theology department at Catholic.

“After school, she’d be working at her desk and her classroom was filled with students who came back after they were dismissed for the day to talk with her,” Sister Anne said. “They didn’t want to leave because they knew she’d make time for them.”

Connie Burch McGrain taught briefly with Ms. Xenakis.

“Debby was an amazing friend to me outside of the parameters of teaching and was just such an exceptional human being,” Ms. McGrain said. “She loved every student she ever taught.

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“Whenever Debby called, she never wanted to tell you about herself. She was a master at turning a conversation around. She wanted you to tell her what was going on in your life,” she said.

Ms. Xenakis later moved from Lutherville to Ocean City, where she was a member of the Ocean City Surf Club and participated in a block cleanup program.

A communicant of St. Luke Roman Catholic Church in Ocean City, she was an ordained “extraordinary minister.”

“She was independently ordained to perform marriages and married friends and former students,” her husband said.

Ms. Xenakis donated her body to the University of Florida College of Medicine, her husband said.

Plans for a Mass to be offered in the chapel at Notre Dame of Maryland University are incomplete.

In addition to her husband, a retired U.S. Defense Department counterintelligence agent, she is survived by her daughter, Aileen Xenakis Koslowski, of Jupiter, Florida; a sister, Mary Carmella Falduto, of Boonton, New Jersey; and a grandson.