I learned to respect my political rivals. Americans too can escape this vortex of hatred | Opinion

I’ve certainly directed many unkind words towards my political adversaries. As the Democratic leader in the Legislature, I often disagreed with then-Gov. Jeb Bush’s policies and loudly said so. I accused the speaker I daily stood against, Marco Rubio, of advancing positions I thought regressive. And as mayor of Miami Beach, I regularly accused Gov. Ron DeSantis of treating COVID as a political opportunity rather than a deadly health care crisis.

I have felt the same way about Donald Trump, but even more so. Much more so.

But contempt for a policy is different than hating the person who advances or merely agrees with it. Over the last few decades, and especially over the last few years, our nation has made dehumanizing political opponents entirely acceptable.

We need to figure out how to escape this vortex of political hatred in which so many seem trapped. When we normalize hate speech as reasonable, too many will normalize hateful conduct as appropriate. We saw this last weekend and on Jan. 6, 2021.

A recent study by the Carnegie Endowment highlighted these troubling trends. According to the study, 25% of Republicans and 17% of Democrats felt “threats against the other party’s leaders were justifiable.” Even worse, “one in five Republicans (20%) and 13% of Democrats claimed that political violence was justified.”

I understand these deep divisions. Algorithms make sure we only see content that validates preexisting beliefs, and new technology provides anyone a platform. Whether it’s left-wing or right-wing “news” sources or insulting memes, there is something catering to every viewpoint and attention span. We exist, literally, in our own curated realities.

And because hate sells, all we see on our screens are reasons to hate the other guy and the other guy’s leader.

But hate doesn’t merely create blinders, it is blinding. We see it not just in the extreme words that people write, but in our unwillingness to even consider another’s perspective. Worst of all, we see hate in the way people are easily demonized for different beliefs.

I wish there were an easy way out. But keyboards lack truth keys, and we can’t expect people who make money attracting attention to their websites to embrace a different, less profitable business model.

For me, my way out was realizing that the people whose ideas I despised were still just people. Some shared a commonality I could relate to, while others had qualities I admired. Some were confronting familiar personal challenges. Most, understandably, loathed the New England Patriots.

I once angrily complained to my wife that Jeb had little tolerance for dissenting views. Her response was “yes, that’s a hard quality to get over in a person, but I have managed.” Ouch! I grew to respect Jeb’s command of issues and his willingness to take political risks, hallmarks of a leader.

For Marco, I was fond of his quick wit and liked that we leased the same model minivan. Years later when my mother passed, it was Marco who met me in the parking lot before the funeral to console me, even then his humor soothing. “Cubans rarely start funerals on time” he told me, “but I understand with Jews being on time is late. So, I came early.”

Even DeSantis, whose policies I couldn’t find more contemptuous, should not be dehumanized. When his wife Casey was stricken with breast cancer in 2021, I put her on my synagogue’s Mi Shebeirach (prayer) list because I chose to hope he would do that for my family if we confronted such a human challenge.

Here, in South Florida, we should know better. So many in our community come from places without the rule of law. Where might makes right. I am hopeful that in this moment, no matter how highly charged, Americans will be reminded that our nation survives because we seek peaceful disagreement, and not hate and its stepbrother violence. That dehumanizing political opponents is not only an affront to civil discourse but to our democracy itself.

Dan Gelber, an attorney, served in the Florida House as the Democratic leader and in the state Senate. He was recently mayor of Miami Beach.