Not Even an Assassination Attempt Could Overshadow the Most Important Question in Politics

Slate’s guide to the most important figures in politics this week.

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Surge, a newsletter that you probably can’t read now that the computers have all broken and are eating their users. Happy hunting!

Because all of the computers are broken, the Surge is stranded in Milwaukee trying to convince a flock of gulls to carry us back to Washington, D.C. (While these negotiations were ongoing‍—‍the birds drive a hard bargain‍—‍treasured Slate writer Molly Olmstead stepped in to cover former blogger J.D. Vance.)

Where do we begin? This was an insane week of news. Donald Trump got shot in the ear right before the Republican National Convention! Democrats still don’t know who they’re going to nominate for president! We got a Republican running mate! That judge in Florida dismissed the Trump documents case for fun! Hulk Hogan!

Type type typey type type!

1. Joe Biden

From deep inside a COVID bunker in Delaware …

The Democratic calls for President Joe Biden to step aside briefly paused last weekend when former President Donald Trump was nearly assassinated. (Yes, Trump has been both shot in the ear and enjoyed his party convention in this current Surge Window, and he’s still not No. 1, because Democrats are just having such a time.) But the calls came back sharply this week. Democrats put the full squeeze on Biden, with party elders like Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Barack Obama all getting the word out there that they really think Biden should consider quitting the race. Biden’s team held firm, though the president did say in a BET interview that he could consider stepping aside if he had “some medical condition.” The White House announced shortly thereafter that Biden had COVID—definitely a medical condition, but not really in the ballpark of what Biden meant. On Friday, the New York Times reported that he “vowed” he’d return to the campaign trail; there’s been no public indication from Biden that he’ll go. (At least as of the Surge’s deadline. Did Biden quit overnight and ruin this newsletter? We’ll see!) What we saw this week was essentially a party-wide effort to get Biden to that decision. If he doesn’t get there, the Great Democratic Mess of 2024 will continue to smolder.

2. Donald Trump

New tone! (RIP new tone.)

There was a lot of talk in the wake of the attempt on Trump’s life that he was a changed man who wanted to bring Americans of all political persuasions together. As soon as people began to say this, the countdown was on for it to be proved wholly incorrect. Though Trump did pull some punches in the first day or so following the attempt, the convention program did not. Speech after speech on Tuesday night of the RNC’s programming, specifically, referenced Democrats’ plan to flood the country with illegal immigrants and then get them to secretly vote. The full arc of “new tone” reverting to old tone, though, was itself contained within Trump’s own marathon speech Thursday night. He began by recounting—in an unusual, half-asleep tone—the attempt on his life. By the speech’s meandering second hour, though, everything was back to how the evil Democrats, like “crazy Nancy Pelosi,” were intent on destroying America for their pure amusement and entertainment, which they would achieve by “cheating at elections.” Look, there was no need for Trump to change his tone after the shooting. He’s welcome to continue being who he is, and the American people can decide whether they want that. The expectation that anything could or would change him, though, was an odd hypothesis to put forward in 2024.

3. J.D. Vance

Mamaw’s man has made it.

It was a big week for the Hillbilly senator. Vance formally accepted the GOP’s nomination as Trump’s running mate in his Wednesday RNC keynote, making Vance, at 39, the first-ever millennial on a major party’s ticket. His RNC speech gave Vance the opportunity to introduce himself to voters, which he needed to do, given how much of a nobody he apparently was beforehand. (A poll from late June indicated that a majority of registered voters had no idea who he was, despite his serving, at one point, as the guide to the Angry White Rural Voter for hand-wringing urban liberals.) Conservative pundits seemed pleased to have a young face ready to inherit the MAGA movement (though everyone on the right seems to have agreed not to mention the times Vance called Trump an “idiot” and compared him to Hitler) and praised the choice. The electoral case for Vance is that he will help woo swing-state Midwesterners and emphasize the campaign’s promises to the white working class. We’ll see. In his speech, Vance went hard on isolationist foreign policy, anti-corporate populism, and a healthy dose of anti-immigrant fearmongering. (He also told a story of his Mamaw having 19 loaded guns stashed around her house at the end of her life. “That’s American spirit,” he concluded.) More importantly, despite having a personal story cinematic enough to literally have been made into a movie, he was astute enough not to upstage Donald Trump. Then again, that talent used to be an essential appeal of Trump’s last vice president. And we all know what happened to him.

4. Kamala Harris

Suiting up (secretly).

If—or when—Biden drops out, Vice President Kamala Harris is going to have an extraordinary amount of work to do. That means: converting what was the Biden campaign into the Harris campaign, raising money, and working with the entire Democratic Party apparatus to build a compelling message and determine what in her biography to pitch to the American people for an election taking place in less than four months. What makes this especially difficult in the moment is that she and her team can’t fully delve into this work right now, as her position is still necessarily that she supports Joe Biden. Any private call she makes about preparing to run, to anyone, would leak to the press and depict her as undermining the president. Another problem? Even though the nomination would almost certainly be hers, there would still have to be a process that looks open and small-d “democratic” (ugh) to award her the nomination. There’s just a stupid amount of work to be done when Biden officially gives the signal that he is retiring to Rehoboth Beach to yell at seashells. Oh, and by the way: It’s unlikely that Biden would choose to resign from the presidency in addition to dropping out of the presidential race. But if he did, Harris would also have to deal with the complication of being president of the United States and having to do president stuff while standing up her campaign.

5. Aileen Cannon

Case dismissed on the grounds of me feeling like it.

One talking point the Surge got a kick out of this week was that, in the post–assassination attempt spirit of National Unity, all the people trying to prosecute Trump for committing crimes needed to stop doing that. Trump said this in his speech, and the Surge overheard it countless times at the convention in Milwaukee. Well! There are at least fewer concerns in that area this week, as our favorite Judge “Come On” Aileen Cannon in Fort Pierce, Florida, dismissed the federal classified documents case against Trump. The Surge, for the 60^th time, will note that it is neither a lawyer nor a legal reporter. But by our eye, this is pretty dumb. Cannon dismissed the case on a theory that enjoyed no meaningful precedent in the federal judiciary: That special counsel Jack Smith was improperly appointed. Here’s the Surge’s abbreviated summary of her lengthy opinion, though: MR. TRUMP, PRETTY PLEASE PUT ME ON THE SUPREME COURT. Even if the Justice Department gets its way on appeal from the rest of the Trumpified judiciary, Cannon’s decision has its intended effect of pushing this trial off until well after the election.

6. Bernie Sanders

Biden’s most vocal defender … and the defenses ain’t good.

Biden hasn’t been getting a lot of backup to counter the substantial Democratic Party forces trying to pry the nomination from him. He does have a couple of prominent voices on the left in his corner, though—and most of all, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders. He re-endorsed Biden in a New York Times op-ed last weekend, writing “Enough!” of the extremely public infighting that Democrats were putting on full display. What’s difficult for Sanders, though, is that his defenses sound especially … defend-y. In a New Yorker interview this week, Sanders conceded about Biden that “sometimes he gets confused about names,” and that “sometimes he doesn’t put three sentences together.” He added, nevertheless, that “the reality of the moment is, in my view, he is the best candidate the Democrats have.” Can’t remember names. Can’t speak. Full heart. Can’t lose.

7. Hulk Hogan

MAN NIGHT at the convention.

Thursday’s programming at the RNC merits its own entry for how delightfully stupid it was. Our initial read of watching Hulk Hogan rip his shirt off, Kid Rock perform before screens showing badass flames, and Ultimate Fighting Championship president Dana White scream out his introduction of Trump on the convention’s most important night was that the Trump campaign’s data showed, somehow, that it wasn’t doing enough to reach out to men. Since that makes no sense, clearly it was just that Trump wanted his big night scripted with maximal testosterone, to amuse himself. Even Melania Trump’s introduction was obviously scripted by men: The hard rock music gave way to a nice dainty song for the classy dame. As an attendee, the only thing for the Surge to do was enjoy the hell out of this. Though straight out of Idiocracy, there was nothing more entertaining during the convention than watching the septuagenarian Hulk Hogan scream God-knows-what into the microphone while shredding his shirt, and then get blown a kiss by Trump. Politics gravitates toward dumbness. Sometimes, just let it.