He spent 20 years in solitary. Now he’s fighting for reform from behind bars in Missouri

When Anthony Gay spent his first weeks at a federal prison in Missouri earlier this year in solitary confinement, it felt like the walls were closing in.

“Just being trapped in a cell, from a psychological standpoint, it’s like time descended like the lid of a coffin,” he said during a call from the Medical Center for Federal Prisoners Springfield.

The 50 year old had been transferred in January to Springfield, Missouri, from a federal facility in Indiana. Gay was sent there after engaging in self-harm. He was confined to a cell for 22 to 24 hours a day with limited social contact.

“Because of his multiple incident reports for self-harm, he is required to remain in locked status for an indefinite period of time while the disciplinary process runs its course and his sanctions are determined,” a behavior management plan said.

Gay, who has spent more than 20 years in solitary confinement during state and federal stints, is advocating for federal reform to greatly reduce the use of solitary confinement and to prohibit its use in response to self-harm.

Sending someone to solitary confinement because they have mental health problems, creates “a vicious cycle” and is wrong, he said.

It’s “akin to trying to dry off in the shower,” Gay said. “It defeats the whole purpose.”

Gay said he supports a bill introduced by U.S. Representatives Emanuel Cleaver and Cori Bush, both Missouri Democrats.

Cleaver said he was proud to co-sponsor the End Solitary Confinement Act. The measure limits the use of solitary confinement, with some exceptions for short-term, emergency de-escalation and other situations. It bans involuntary solitary confinement for those with a disability, mental health need and those under age 25 or over 55.

“I believe strongly that every individual should be held accountable for their actions — but they should also be treated with the dignity that all human beings deserve,” Cleaver said in a statement. “Whether it is providing incarcerated workers with fair wages or expanding library resources to help reduce recidivism, there are a whole host of prison reforms that are worth undertaking to the benefit of our communities and incarcerated Americans; and putting an end to solitary confinement is certainly on that list.”

Emery Nelson, a spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons, said the agency doesn’t house prisoners in “solitary confinement,” but places them in “restrictive housing” for “disciplinary segregation.” They may be removed from the general population if they pose a threat to themselves, other prisoners, staff or security.

Cell the size of a parking spot

Gay grew up in Rock Island, Illinois. He pleaded guilty to stealing a hat and $1 bill during a fight when he was a teen and was placed on probation. In 1994, when he was 20, he was caught driving without a license. That was a probation violation, and he was sent to prison.

Gay said he struggles with borderline personality disorder. That manifested in prison where he acted out, and in 1998, he was sent to solitary. He spent the next 20 years in a small cell with little human interaction, court documents said.

According to a lawsuit Gay filed against the State of Illinois, solitary confinement “was catastrophic.” Gay mutilated himself hundreds of times by cutting and stabbing himself.

He told The Star that he resorted to hurting himself because it was a form of release. It was “like a twisted therapeutic relief.” Doing so was also a cry for help and could compel social contact with medical providers, he said.

In 2018, Gay was released from prison and became “a fierce advocate to dismantle solitary confinement in America.” He garnered support from figures such as renowned activists Angela Davis and Jesse Jackson.

But he got in trouble in 2020 for possessing a firearm as a convicted felon and was sent to federal prison. He’s been in and out of solitary or lockdown, which also restricts interaction and movement, since then. At times, he has engaged in self-harm, which is categorized by the U.S. Bureau of Prisons as a “high severity level prohibited act.”

Gay engaged in self-mutilation at least seven times last year, according to incident reports he provided. Those write-ups carried over to Springfield.

He was in solitary for nearly a month after arriving in Missouri. He said his cell, which included a mattress and a toilet and sink, was the size of a parking spot.

“It’s overwhelming,” he said. “Like, panic. I felt like I was trapped and I couldn’t escape.”

He said he thinks it’s “disgusting” that the BOP’s response to self-mutilation is to place someone in solitary confinement instead of adequately treating their mental health.

Is it torture?

Craig Haney, a psychologist at the University of California, Santa Cruz, interviewed Gay in 2018 while he was researching solitary confinement in Illinois.

Gay was “profoundly traumatized,” Haney said.

“Solitary confinement is a psychologically and even physically damaging experience for people,” Haney said. “There’s extensive research now. The consensus, scientific view of this is not even in debate.”

The severity of the damage can depend on the length of time someone spends in solitary and if they have mental health issues.

“People who are vulnerable, who react badly to being incarcerated, end up gravitating towards solitary confinement because the prison system doesn’t know what to do with them and doesn’t have the resources to properly address their needs,” Haney said.

Prisoners placed in solitary confinement are deprived of meaningful social contact. COVID-19 gave people a glimpse into that isolation, but “solitary confinement is the pandemic on steroids, it’s times 1,000,” Haney said.

Those placed in solitary have high prevalence rates of depression, anxiety and cognitive decline.

Some prisoners Haney interviewed said they self-harmed because it was “one way of demonstrating to themselves that they still have a physical presence, they can still feel things and it’s a way of provoking a reaction from themselves that reaffirms that they still exist.”

Haney said it was naive to think solitary confinement could be banned overnight, but that it should only be used as an absolute last resort for the shortest time possible. The United Nations says more than 15 consecutive days in solitary is torture.

Haney also said the fact that Gay has been in solitary in the federal system has to be “unbelievably, unfathomably traumatizing for him.”

“If somebody’s being placed in solitary confinement because they’re a risk to themselves, as apparently, the BOP decided Anthony was, he may need to be separated from the unit that he was in, but placed in a therapeutic environment,” Haney said.

Nelson, the BOP spokesperson, said the agency offers individual counseling, group therapy and crisis intervention. Those who engage in self-harm undergo a suicide risk assessment.

The bureau provides services to those who pose a threat to themselves, Nelson said, “in a manner consistent with accepted community standards for a correctional environment.”

“Sanctions are not imposed in a capricious or retaliatory manner. The Inmate Discipline Program is administered based on specific individual details of each incident and may vary from facility to facility,” Nelson said.

“Disciplinary action is not common after a suicide attempt.”

Gay is eligible for release in April 2028, according to BOP records.