As North Jersey communities clash over Israel-Hamas war, these groups are trying to heal

Behind police barricades, dueling sets of protesters were shouting. Waving big flags. Clashing over the war in Israel and Gaza.

They converged outside City Hall in Englewood on Tuesday night. Tension, grief and despair were fueling their anger.

Similar scenes have erupted in towns and cities across New Jersey, where the conflict in the Middle East is playing out on our streets, our schools and, as in Englewood, outside our City Halls.

To the Jewish and Muslim populations here, the conflict feels deeply personal. Unlike perhaps any other place in the U.S., the tight-knit communities here are feeling a cascade of the Hamas-Israel war, and it's shaking and testing interfaith bonds and decades-long relationships.

“The events that happened in the last several weeks are horrific, no doubt about it,” Englewood Councilman Charles Cobb said on Tuesday, as hundreds rallied outside. “We as people are living in a time that's challenging for everybody. But how are we going to handle it? We have to ask each other internally — how do we deal with this? We have a community that is very diverse, and we have to live among each other. That's what is important.”

But in the aftermath of the Oct. 7 Hamas attack — that killed 1,400 Israelis, including innocent civilians, where another 200 people were taken hostage, where, in Gaza, more than 7,000 Palestinians have been killed, including nearly 3,000 children — how does the North Jersey community move forward?

Families have lost loved ones. They are in mourning. And through the chaos, community members and interfaith leaders are trying to heal the divide.

Tensions in our towns

In Englewood, the confrontation between protesting groups grew explosive, and officials decided to shut down the meeting early on order from police. Five people were arrested for charges including disorderly conduct and riot.

In Passaic, that same day, another city council meeting was interrupted by hackers shouting slurs and antisemitic comments.

The previous week, in Teaneck, protesters and supporters rallied outside municipal hall, clashing over a resolution that expressed solidarity with Israel, but omitted mention of Palestinian casualties. A day later, community members packed a school board meeting, angry that the school district superintendent’s letter offered counseling and support for students, but did not explicitly condemn Hamas, which has been labeled a terrorist organization by the United States and others.

In the past three weeks, Muslim and Jewish organizations have also heightened security amid a spike in bias and hate crimes that local leaders say are linked to the Israel-Hamas war. The vitriol has spilled onto community social media pages, where voices for understanding and calm are overshadowed by each side blaming the other for the hate.

In Teaneck, the council will consider a new resolution on Monday aimed at uniting the community.

The resolution states that Teaneck “values the lives of innocent Israeli and Palestinian citizens,” decries hate, violence and terror, and pledges to work toward bringing the entire Teaneck community together.

“I think the last council meeting created a lot of tension and people are hurt,” said Councilwoman Danielle Gee. “I think we just need to continue to bring community members together to listen to one another and support one another so we can achieve that healing.”

Yassine Elkaryani, a Muslim resident, said the community was still hurting from the council’s earlier resolution, which some said left an impression that the killing of Muslim civilians was not important. He stepped down from his seat as chairman of the Advisory Board on Community in protest.

“I don’t know how we heal from this,” he said.

These groups are working on way forward

In New Jersey, interfaith groups that have worked together for years to forge bonds and understanding are weathering this conflict and its ramifications at home.

Leaders of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, an international nonprofit that brings together Jewish and Muslim women to talk, learn about one another, and work together for peace, say that relationship-building focused on friendship and trust is key to weathering difficult times.

“Having difficult conversations, when you pretty much know someone is going to be disagreeing with you, is easier when you have that foundation,” said co-founder Atiya Aftab, of South Brunswick. “Those who have that foundation, I think, are trying to weather the storm and those who don’t have those relationships are clearly having a challenge right now.”

The organization, with about 1,000 members in chapters in the United States and abroad, is planning “listening times” in online sessions available to members where people can connect and dialogue about these issues stemming from the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Aftab said.

The conversations give a space for women to share at a time when many worry about publicly expressing their opinions, concerned they will lose their job or face doxing, a form of online harassment that involves sharing of one’s personal information.

Solutions start with listening

In Teaneck, two high school students — one Muslim and one Jewish — are striving to encourage open dialogue. Rawda Elbatrawish and Liora Pelavin organized an Oct. 25 youth talk called "Through a Deeper Lens" that invited young people to openly discuss events in Palestine and Israel and ask questions. The event was at capacity at 60 people — and had a wait list.

Pelavin, the Jewish student, said the forum was uplifting, especially after the divisions in her community.

“Just even talking a little bit, an adult on the Palestinian side will hear about Israel and get really angry, and if people are pro-Israel and hear about Palestinians, it’s the exact same,” she said. “That’s the reason there is so much tension. People don’t want to have these conversations.”

“I don’t know if it’s hatred,” she said, “but it’s close.”

At the event on Wednesday, people gathered around tables to talk about their beliefs, to hear each side's position and learn about the roots of the conflict.

One thing everyone could agree on: social media is not helping.

“One of the main takeaways was that conversations on social media are not productive and cannot compare to conversations when we are civil and listening to each other," Pelavin said. "And this was from tables where people deeply disagree with each other.”

The biggest problem with the event was that there wasn't enough time for conversation. Another event is being planned for Nov. 5, she said.

Roberta Elliott, the president of the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, who lives in South Orange, stressed that solutions start with listening.

“I believe if you completely lose your own ego and stop thinking about how I’m going to respond to this person and what I am going to say — if you are listening to what the person is saying and not trying to convince them that they are right or wrong — if you take to heart what they are saying and recognize their humanity, I think great progress can be made in this world."

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Israel-Hamas war: As NJ Palestinians and Jews clash, how to heal