'Not Alone' going strong: Boyd senior spreads message through nonprofit aimed at preventing suicide

Dec. 19—CATLETTSBURG — When Dalton Hale was 11, his cousin and best friend, Spencer Smith, committed suicide. The family was devastated. No one saw it coming.

"It was hard on me and my family and we weren't sure how to deal with it," Hale said. "I didn't know how we missed any signs, how he could feel like this and us not know about it."

But from tragedy came hope.

Hale, who now is 17 and a senior at Boyd County High School, started his own nonprofit called Not Alone.

The son of Shawn and Bethany Hale, of Catlettsburg, participated in the Governor's Scholar Program and is regularly on the honor roll. He's President of the National Honor Society chapter at Boyd County High School and is a member of the Key Club, Beta Club and the varsity baseball team. But in 2020, he found time to start the program, which aims to reach out to those suffering and considering suicide; he also hopes to help everyone recognize the signs of someone in trouble and teach them the best ways to approach the subject.

"In retrospect, with the research I've done, I've realized he was showing some signs," Hale said. "The last time we saw him was Christmas and he was super happy, hugging all of us, and while that might seem he was doing great, it's actually a common thing. The last time they see you, they tell people they love them because they've accepted what they're going to do. At the time, we had no way of knowing."

While Hale is the driving force behind Not Alone, he credits Jeremy Holbrook of the Big Idea Camp for helping him get the word out.

"Students at school have helped me. Some of my coaches, the community, they've done a great job getting the message out and I'm really thankful for that," Hale said.

The Big Idea Camp is a program aimed to develop core essential values for students through classes, counselor sessions and activities, as well as monthly interactive assemblies.

Hale said he uses social media, most specifically Instagram, to make posts and videos for those who feel depressed or have a loved one dealing with depression.

"We want to give them the tools they need to prevent this pandemic (of suicide)," he said.

In addition to speaking to the Boyd County High School and Ashland Blazer High School wrestling teams, he has spoken to church groups and participated in suicide prevention walks and hopes to have other opportunities to make appearances.

It seems Hale is always on duty, looking for students in need of emotional support.

"I have had several come to me for help and many through social media," he said. "I always like to be at school and be on the lookout for physical or mental symptoms. Sometimes they're just really sad, and I'm there."

He said it can be difficult to distinguish between depression and anxiety, which sometimes go hand in hand.

"If someone is sitting alone at lunch, I go over and say hi and introduce myself," he said. "If somebody's walking in the hall and looking down at the floor or crying, ask if you can help."

Sometimes, the signs are less obvious. "You just learn to pick up on social cues," he said.

Other signs include withdrawing, not going out with friends as much, slipping grades, quitting organized activities, feeling tired and experiencing a major life event, such as a death or serious issues with parents.

"We can't blame ourselves, but the whole thing with Not Alone is to learn to recognize the signs, and ask them how they're feeling," he said, even in some cases, ask if they're considering suicide. "When you ask, they realize you noticed and you can see signs that they're relieved."

Those who don't feel comfortable or able to talk to a friend about suicide are encouraged to direct their friend to a teacher, counselor or anyone, as long as the person is trusted.

"Whatever you can do to get them talking and let them know you're there for them and other people are, too," Hale said.

Not Alone has T-shirts; donations for the shirts will go toward a scholarship fund in Spencer Smith's memory.

Hale, who plans to attend the University of Louisville or the University of Kentucky next year, said he will continue Not Alone while away. He said he hopes to keep others from feeling the way his cousin did and the way his family did.

"I hope to give them the tools they need to talk to them about it or to open up to other people if they're feeling that way themselves," he said. "I'm always here if you need help. Don't be afraid to reach out. That's the first step."

(606) 326-2661 — lward@dailyindependent.com

Not Alone may be found on Instagram at @_notalone or on other social media by searching Dalton Hale.