Not-so-friendly skies? T.F. Green takes a shot at Logan, and Mark Patinkin is on board

Most of us have been there: the moment of horror when facing one of the worst meat grinders on earth.

Flying out of Logan.

I hate Logan.

First, God help us, the traffic. Were Dante still alive, I have no doubt he’d add Route 93 south of Boston as the 10^th circle of hell.

You have to plan for a two-hour drive from Providence – just in case – and once you make it through those scary tunnels, it’s equally stressful finding your way to the right terminal. Whoever designed Logan wasn’t hugged enough by their mother.

And the parking.

You need a home equity loan for Central – and that word is questionable. The walk to the ticket counters feels like miles.

This is why I love an amazing new ad just put out by Rhode Island T. F. Green International Airport.

It’s not just that the ad disses Logan, it’s how edgy it is.

The scene opens with a voice-over of the captain as a passenger jet heads toward the sky.

“Thank you for flying from Rhode Island today, folks.”

Cut to an aerial shot of a monster jam on Route 93 approaching downtown Boston.

Captain’s voice: “Oh, if you look out your left window, you may catch a soul-crushing view of the traffic backed up to Logan.”

The screen then flashes a dozen emoji popups – angry, frustrated, gone-crazy and one throwing up.

“We appreciate you choosing an easier way to fly,” says the captain, as the screen shows destinations from Green Airport.

“Now sit back, relax and forget about …”

This is my favorite part.

“… all the B.S. at BOS.”

This is not what one might expect from the Rhode Island Airport Corporation. Can we agree that state agencies are usually stodgy? Or at least all about propriety.

Well, God bless them for taking off the gloves and telling it straight. With the ad flashing an ending slogan:

“B.S. @ BOS.”

Personally, for the sake of candor, I think Logan should adopt that as its official slogan. As someone with a hate-hate relationship with that airport, I endorse it.

I called Green Airport and reached John Goodman, head communications guy there. He told me the commercial was put together by a firm called Karsh Hagan out of Denver, known for airport ads.

I assume whoever they sent to fly out of Logan for research came back saying, “My God, that was such B.S.” And an ad was born.

John Goodman points out that it’s not just flyers who have to endure the Logan meat grinder.

“I’ve had to pick up friends and relatives there,” he said. “I try to sow the seeds that friends don’t let friends pick them up at Logan Airport.”

Goodman hopes the ad might even draw Boston folks to Green. As he points out – we may be an hour from Boston, but often, Logan can be an hour from Boston, too.

Amen, brother.

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Goodman often hears of folks who try Green, see the light and vow thereafter to avoid Logan if they can help it.

“The traffic there,” Goodman explained, “and the cost of parking – rated as one of the highest in the globe.”

I thought he was exaggerating, but I looked it up, and at almost $40 a day, the cost of parking at Logan is indeed the fourth-highest in the world, after Doha in Qatar, Heathrow in London, and San Francisco International, according to simpleflying.com.

By contrast, Goodman said, with a coupon, you can park for $12 a day at Green, and catch a free shuttle to the terminal.

I should add that, because of airport lines, Boston’s Department of Transportation advises arriving at least two hours before your flight. Between that and blocking in two hours for the drive from here, you can spend more time in pre-takeoff for Logan than even a 2,000-mile flight from there.

B.S. @ Bos, indeed.

Speaking as a Green Airport acolyte to the wretched souls trapped in Logan’s purgatory, I have a closing message.

Join us.

mpatinki@providencejournal.com

This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: T.F. Green Airport's new TV ad calls on flyers to avoid the B.S.@BOS