November is Adoption Month, older children need homes, too
Adoption is encouraged as a way to grow families and take children out of foster care. National Adoption Month was created to bring awareness to the process and positive impact of adoption. The initiative began as National Adoption Week in 1984, as proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan. President Bill Clinton then proclaimed the first National Adoption Month in 1995. Below are a few Michigan voices to bring awareness to the older youth in foster care looking for their adoptive families.
Adoption can change lives for the better
I’ve been in over 20 foster homes during my time in foster care. I think it’s important for families to understand that you can’t fix me or expect all my challenges to go away just by adopting me. I believe that family is supposed to accept you despite your faults and challenges. There have been many times that I’ve felt alone or that a family has given up on me due to unreasonable expectations. An adoptive family should be patient and be willing to give unconditional love with the understanding that many kids in the foster care system have had unimaginable trauma.
An adoptive family should support biological sibling relationships. My biological brothers are the only consistent relationships I have ever had in my life, and I feel very loyal towards them. They have helped me stay hopeful even in my worst moments. Even though they live far away from me, writing letters and talking on the phone helps me keep those relationships.
I am not my trauma and my difficulties. I am so much more than that. I would love an adoptive family to take me places like bowling alleys and Taco Bell. I love shopping and picking out new shoes as well as presents for those I care about. I show my love by teasing, joking around, and holding hands. I am able to open up about difficult moments in my past and understand how I have grown from those times. I deserve a family and I am positive that there is a loving family out there for me. Adoptive families just need to understand that welcoming me into their family will be challenging but will change my life and theirs for the better.
Raymond is 15 years old.
Everyone needs a circle of support and love
As adoption professionals, we like to throw around the word “permanency” a lot. That is our primary professional goal, but it is a lot more complicated than simply a permanent placement or even an adoptive family for that child.
The most important part of my role as an adoption resource consultant is to build and rebuild connections for kids who have had more instability in their lives than most adults. Everyone needs a circle of support and love.
Some of us are lucky enough to have a built-in support network, and others have to build one from scratch. Part of our duty as adoption workers is to help our kids build those support systems that can carry them throughout their lives. By the time a child has an adoption professional on their team, they have likely spent years in the child welfare system, moving from foster home to foster home, being the “new kid” at schools repeatedly and meeting more social workers than they can count. Throughout this process is immense and immediate loss. Loss of parental connections, peer connections and friends. When I meet a kid for the first time and begin to explain my role, I often offer my services as their very own private investigator. If they lost contact with a coach, a teacher, a cousin or a priest, I want to help track those connections down.
No matter how old you are, everyone needs someone to call when they blow a tire or have a bad day. Everyone needs someone to practice with when they are applying for jobs or even colleges. Everyone needs somewhere to go for a homecooked meal and a place to spend the holidays. The kids we work with are no different. Whether they are 12 years old or about to age out of the system, our kids need and deserve lifelong supportive connections.
Katherine Maher is an adoption resource consultant at Orchards Children Services in Southfield.
Connecting with an adoptive family would mean the world to me
Having an adoptive family sounds amazing to me, it is something I would love. November is National Adoption Month, and I have been waiting for a Forever Family for almost two years now. I would love to see my future family have both a mom and a dad and could have animals, too. I love dogs like Chihuahuas; I also like big dogs. My favorite things to do include making art, swimming, boating, and I love to draw — people and animals. I watch Jake Paul on YouTube and the Martinez twins (they do funny videos and I love watching them!).
My biggest supports while in foster care are my workers, my brothers, my sister, and my aunt and uncle. My favorite animals are dogs, cats, and a lot of other animals but I don’t like rabbits. My favorite holiday is definitely Halloween, but I also love the winter because I like to go sledding. It’s so fun! My favorite thing about my current foster home is that we play cards. I love Uno and Go Fish. I also like to race play cars with my foster brother.
I don’t know yet what I want to be when I grow up, but I love animals so maybe a veterinarian! If I could let a new family know one thing about me, it would be that I am a good person. My favorite color is blue, and my favorite food is pepperoni pizza. My favorite movies are scary ones, and I also like "Coraline" and all the "Cars" movies.
Being adopted would mean the WORLD to me, and I would be excited, happy, and nervous to meet new families and be adopted by one. When I get adopted, I would love to have brothers or sisters, young or old, and some pets.
Mallory is 15 years old.
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Children with disabilities deserve love and a family, too
As an adoption resource consultant, I get to serve a variety of populations. The most vulnerable and disadvantaged population in the foster care and adoption system are those children who have disabilities. Disabilities include emotional, physical, cognitive and learning impairment or some combination of these ranging in severity.
Of the 127 families currently registered on the Michigan Adoption Resource Exchange (MARE), there are very limited, if any, families that are willing to consider a child with more than one category of severe impairment. The number of families for children who have only one impairment are not significant. In my experience, when searching the 127 families waiting to match with a child, I’ve found two families that are willing to take a child with a single severe emotional, physical or cognitive impairment.
Every child deserves love and a family. Children with special needs are no different. Yet only a handful of parents are willing to open their homes to children with severe impairments. While the reality of parenting a special needs child can be intimidating, there are supports available to help both the family and child be successful. When we focus only on the impairment, we overlook the amazing children we are presented with. Kristopher is one of those deserving but overlooked children.
I’ve had the pleasure of being a part of Kristopher’s team for over a year now. Kristopher has been actively up for adoption for six years but has consistently been overlooked due to his disability. Kristopher presents with autism and is categorized as severely impaired in three categories. However, Kristopher is so much more than a severe impairment. He is a ball of energy who is happy and bubbly. He is filled with passion and desire. Kristopher seeks the basic needs of love and attention from a caring family. He is just unable to express how much he would love a family of his own. Someone to celebrate his successes and support him through times of challenges.
Children are one of the most vulnerable populations. Adding foster care and special needs make them even more susceptible to several risks. Children like Kristopher deserve to be accepted, loved, and protected. Together, we can create greater outcomes for our youth in foster care. Together, we can make a change.
LaTasha Reisinger is an adoption resource consultant at Orchards Children Services in Southfield.
I know the right family is out there waiting for me
I would love more than anything to be adopted and have a family that loves me for who I am and spends time with me. I have been in foster care since I was seven years old. I lived in a residential for four years and now I am in a foster home. I would love for a mom and dad to adopt me and have a lot of animals. I love animals, especially dogs.
I hope my family would want to watch the Marvel movies with me and take me to carnivals, but not for the rides, to play the games and eat the food. When I get older, I want to be either a police officer or a zookeeper. I love going to the zoo, it’s the best place. I don’t usually play sports but when I do, it’s basketball. My favorite colors are blue and red, and my favorite holiday is Christmas. I love getting presents and eating all the good food.
I want people to know that I am a kind and generous person. I also would like them to know that I keep my room clean, and it makes me happy doing good in school. I like to tell jokes and make people laugh. I like to watch YouTube videos and play with Legos. I also like playing Roblox and Minecraft. All-time favorite food is Big Macs and Frozen Cokes from McDonalds. I also like Tootsie Rolls, doughnuts, and Taco Bell. Sometimes I wonder why it is taking so long for me to get adopted, but I know the right family is out there, waiting for me just like I am waiting for them, and I cannot wait to meet them.
Jordan is 12 years old.
To me, a forever family means acceptance, love, a place to come home to
Adoption to me is what I assume most people desire in life. It means finding a forever family, which to me translates to feeling and being valued, accepted, loved and wanted. It means having a forever family who will be there through life’s celebrations and hardships. People who will come to cheer me on when I accomplish something and will be by my side when the inevitable hardships come.
Adoption means more than just permanency to me, but finding a family that’s the right fit, a family who will accept me for who I am and better yet, celebrate who I am. It’s important to me that my forever family does normal family things and spends quality time together. I hope to decorate and celebrate holidays with them, create family traditions, go out for family nights, and attend events together.
I hope being adopted means my family will encourage me in my interests and passions and even participate in them with me. I especially enjoy sports, art and all things anime. I want them to not only encourage me now, but in my future endeavors, whatever they may be. I think if I’m provided the proper familial support, I will have access to and seek more opportunities in life which will also assist me in having greater success. Overall, I look at adoption as having a life-long family committed to me, no matter how old I get. I also see it as always having a place to come back to.
Lily is 14 years old.
A loving family will help me grow and learn new things
I am looking for an adoptive family to do all these many fun things together. I love to play outside. I enjoy riding bikes, going on walks, going to the playground, jumping on my trampoline, and going swimming. My perfect day would be spending some time outside, watching YouTube, and watching my flags. I am looking for an adoptive family who loves to spend time outdoors doing fun activities. I use a communication device to speak for me and I can understand everything that goes on around me. I love to learn and am always working hard to learn new things.
I am good at directions and can point the way to all my favorite places. I know where all the McDonald’s near me are. I love music and I’m very good at keeping a beat. I can be a little shy at first, but once I get to know someone, I am very loving. I love lots of hugs and kisses! I love to be helpful by doing things for others like making cards for friends who are sick or returning pop cans for a friend.
I am looking for an adoptive family that will understand my needs and be patient with me. I would like a loving family who will help me grow and learn while still having lots of fun!
Kakashi is 11 years old.
If interested in learning more about these youth or others in foster care, please contact Orchards Children Services 855-694-7301.
This article originally appeared on Lansing State Journal: November 2022 is Adoption Month. Think about older youth in foster care.
