Stop picking on Barbie! At 64, she’s been through enough | Opinion

Stephanie Finucane
·4 min read
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It’s not easy being Barbie.

Just look at everything she’s been through since she debuted at a New York toy fair on March 9, 1959:

In her early days, Barbara Millicent Roberts (yes, that’s her “real” name) was accused of perpetuating gender stereotypes, though she went on to excel as a doctor, a dentist, an astronaut, a paleontologist, a professional baseball and basketball player and a U.S. Marine Corps sergeant, among many other stellar occupations.

She’s still being blamed for imprinting young girls with her unrealistic body image, shattering their self-esteem — even though Barbies now come in a variety of sizes and skin colors.

Mattel and the National Down Syndrome Society create a Barbie doll, fourth from left, for children, ‘who for the first time can play with a Barbie doll that looks like them.’
Mattel and the National Down Syndrome Society create a Barbie doll, fourth from left, for children, ‘who for the first time can play with a Barbie doll that looks like them.’

Lately, she’s been derided as “woke,” “a feminist” and a “man-hater” — mostly by men who seem to lack any sense of humor.

And perhaps worst of all — at least for toy maker Mattel — at various times in her storied career it’s been rumored that she was on the brink of oblivion.

When sales dropped 16% in 2014, for instance, Time magazine made this prediction: “Bye, Bye, Barbie: 2015 Is the Year We Abandon Unrealistic Beauty Ideals.”

Barbie vs. Ted Cruz and Fox News

Now on the eve of what looks to be her biggest triumph — the theatrical release of the blockbuster movie “Barbie” — she’s been banned from Vietnam and possibly other countries over a ludicrously inaccurate map that purportedly takes China’s side in a boundary dispute over the South China Sea.

That led everybody’s favorite enemy-of-the-elite, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, to accuse Barbie — or more specifically, her handlers at Warner Bros. — of peddling Chinese propaganda.

Not to be outdone, Fox News has raised a shocking question: “Is Barbie communist?”

Warner Bros. has responded that the disputed South China Sea dashes are actually “doodles” that depict Barbie’s journey from Barbie Land to the real world and are not intended as a political statement.

The studio has yet to confirm or deny whether Barbie is a member of the Communist Party.

Has Barbie’s big moment been hijacked?

Despite setting off a geopolitical crisis, “Barbie” still has plenty of supporters here at home.

In fact, there’s probably been more girl buzz over a film since — what? — the first “Sex and the City” movie, maybe?

One thing to keep in mind: It is not aimed at kids who actually still play with dolls.

The film has been rated PG-13 for “suggestive references and brief language.” It stars Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling and was directed by Greta Gerwig of “Lady Bird” and “Little Women” fame.

The merchandise isn’t just for kids, either.

Bloomingdale’s has come out with a collection of bougie human-sized Barbie clothes and accessories, including a bracelet that says “Love Yourself.” Because Barbie is all about affirmations.

There are Barbie candles. Barbie pillows. Barbie smoothies. Barbie pajamas. Limited-edition Barbie nail polish. (The complete set of nine Barbie colors retails for $79.99.)

Select AMC Theatres locations will sell popcorn in a bucket that’s a replica of Barbie’s hot-pink Corvette. It even looks like it may come with — what else? — a Barbie doll.

Don’t even get me started on the Barbie T-shirts.

There are sassy tees, like the one that says, “She’s Everything. He’s Just Ken.”

There are Black Barbie tees and Brown Barbie tees.

There are throwback tees featuring images of Barbie in her iconic black-and-white-striped bathing suit.

There are glam tees, including some just for dogs.

Barbie toys, makeup, candles, keychains, designer clothes and T-shirts, have been hitting the stores to coincide with the July 21 movie release.
Barbie toys, makeup, candles, keychains, designer clothes and T-shirts, have been hitting the stores to coincide with the July 21 movie release.

Let’s hear it for the Barbenheimers

And then there are the Barbenheimer tees targeted at those brave and driven souls who plan to watch both “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer,” director Christopher Nolan’s movie about famed physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer, on their shared opening day, July 21.

In case you’re wondering, a Barbenheimer double feature has a combined running time of 294 minutes and 7 seconds, not counting trailers, which will probably add another couple of hours. (Just kidding.)

With snacks, that feat could easily set you back over 50 bucks — or even $100 if you plan on snagging one of those Corvette popcorn tubs that may or may not come with a doll.

But let’s get real here. Most moviegoers will probably pick one film or the other — or neither — to watch on opening weekend, which means it’s an anxious time for the movie studios.

Serious, intellectual moviegoers will likely opt for “Oppenheimer.”

The rest of us will line up for “Barbie,” especially in Sacramento, what with Greta Gerwig being a Sactown native and all.

Speaking of which, have you seen that photo of Ryan Gosling in the pink jacket and the Greta Gerwig T-shirt?

I considered ordering the Greta T-shirt, but I’m holding out for what I really want.

That would be a tee showcasing communist Barbie in her pink convertible, riding off into the sunset, leaving Ted Cruz and Fox News in her dust.

You go, Barbie.