Now we’ve gone full circle on full-fat milk, it’s time we stopped fiddling with food
“How bad can any variety of milk possibly be?” my husband asked last month, when I explained that oat milk had been banished from our fridge after revelations of grievous misconduct. “Well, according to recent headlines,” I told him, referencing the Great Oat Milk Take-Down, “this particular variety is downright evil.”
I wasn’t exaggerating. As with celebrities, we build up “Alt-Milks” only to tear them down, and oat milk is the latest member of the oversaturated non-dairy market to have been thoroughly disgraced.
Apparently, it’s “one of the worst ultra-processed foods” out there. It’ll make you fat, cause Himalayan-style “blood sugar spikes”, and then there’s the canola oil it contains, which researchers are linking to Alzheimer’s, cardiovascular disease, diabetes and decreased brain function. That’s a heady list of evils.
“So which milk are we supposed to be drinking, then?” the husband pressed, looking as exhausted as I feel by the great milk debate. Well, that at least is now clear, thanks to a spate of news reports over the weekend: cow’s milk. We should all be drinking cow’s milk. Not the kind they’ve messed around with, either, but the old-school full-fat variety.
Retailers have reported significant rises in the sales of whole milk, with Waitrose revealing that sales of its own-brand whole milk rose by 6.5 per cent in February compared with the previous year, Yeo Valley Organic announcing that whole-milk sales are growing twice as fast as semi-skimmed, and Marks & Spencer cafés now switching to whole milk as their default option for coffees.
You’ve got to laugh. Having worked our way through almond milk, walnut milk, cashew milk, pistachio milk, coconut milk and hemp milk, we’re now back to the white liquid food produced not by plants, but mammals, which is “a good source of protein and calcium, as well as nutrients including vitamin B12 and iodine” and also “contains magnesium, which is important for bone development and muscle function”.
This is just one of the many 360-degree turns we’ve gone through over the past few years. Remember how butter was demonised and margarine eulogised, how eggs were Public Enemy Number One and yogurt had to be non-fat (subsequently revealed to be packed full of sugar and carbohydrates)? There’s a morality tale here, and that is: stop fiddling with the food. Also: eat Doritos. Any day now, they’ll be granted absolution.
