OKC woman loses custody battle to ex-wife and the child's sperm-donor biological father
A judge ruled Monday an Oklahoma City woman does not have legal rights to the child her former partner conceived with the help of a sperm donor during their relationship.
The ruling is part of a divorce proceeding between Kris Williams and Rebekah Wilson in Oklahoma County District Court.
Williams and Wilson had been in a same-sex relationship for a few years when they started talking about having a baby. As a same-sex couple, they sought to use a "known donor" instead of a sperm bank in their efforts to become pregnant, according to court records.
A known donor is preferred by some couples in order for a child to have a relationship with the biological father.
Williams and Wilson met a donor, Harlan Vaughn, through an online website, according to an article Wilson wrote for Metro Family Magazine. Wilson got pregnant, and she and Williams married in the summer of 2019, just two months before the child was born.
Two years later, in late 2021, Wilson filed for divorce.
At about the same time, she moved in with Vaughn, the sperm donor. She and the child later received a Victim Protective Order against Williams after raising allegations of domestic abuse and harassment.
Williams told The Oklahoman she could not comment on the allegations because her attorney recently submitted an appeal of the VPO.
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Judge rules against Williams because she never adopted the child
Special Judge Lynne McGuire acknowledged in a ruling Monday that Williams "acted in a parental role" and was listed as "Second Mother" on the birth certificate. However, because Williams did not adopt the child, she is not legally his parent and has no parental rights under Oklahoma law.
“The reality is that the law provides a legal remedy to those seeking parental rights," McGuire said in her ruling. "There was a legal remedy available to Williams. She knowingly chose not to pursue it.”
Williams told The Oklahoman she didn't pursue adoption due to the expense, and because she felt there wasn't a need to adopt a child that she helped plan for and was born within her marriage.
Vaughn filed to establish paternity with the child, and his attorney, Rachel Morris, said Vaughn was thrilled with the outcome of the case.
"All three parties were known to the child as his parents. All three were bonded with the child, and participated in the child’s life," Morris said. "At the end of the day, the court followed the current law, and biology rebutted any presumption of parentage created by marriage."
Wilson's attorney did not respond to The Oklahoman's requests for comment by the time of publication.
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Williams to appeal judge's ruling on her parental rights
It has been nearly a year and three months since Williams last saw the child she helped parent for the first two years of his life. "Gut wrenching," Williams said to describe what that time has been like.
An appeal is planned, said Williams' attorney, Robyn Hopkins.
Williams said this wouldn't be happening if she were a man, and that she now sees this as an LGBTQ advocacy issue.
"It's not just personal for me," Williams said. "It's about the entire community ... We could have saved all of this, if I would have paid out two or three grand (to adopt). But then the next woman that goes through this, they would have to fight this fight."
Morris said the ruling is more specific to the laws recognizing families in Oklahoma.
"From a legal perspective, this case is highly fact specific with regard to contracts, timing, and at-home artificial insemination," Morris said. "All three potential parents in this case were LGBTQ+, and they attempted to create a family that is not currently recognized under Oklahoma law."
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Biological mother and father now live together and have second child
Vaughn and Wilson still live together and have a second child together, according to court records.
"This is the most bizarre thing that I've ever witnessed, and it just happens to be something that I'm going through," Williams said.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: OKC women fight custody battle that involves sperm donor
