Old Bridge school board first to affirm NJ policy protecting transgender students

OLD BRIDGE – The school district is the first in New Jersey to officially affirm the state’s transgender student policy, an issue that has roiled many school districts in the state and became a GOP rallying cry in last month’s legislative election.

Under the policy, school districts are not required to inform parents if a student confides in a teacher about their gender identity or sexual orientation. The policy also allows transgender students to participate in gender-segregated activities and use school facilities, such as bathrooms or locker rooms, that are consistent with their gender identity.

Opponents have said the policy, which has been in effect since former Gov. Chris Christie signed it into law in 2017, infringes on “parental rights.”

At least nine New Jersey school districts, including neighboring Manalapan-Englishtown, have adopted policies requiring school officials to notify parents of students’ gender expression. Attorney General Matthew J. Platkin has sued some of those districts, saying their policies violate New Jersey’s Law Against Discrimination.

The Old Bridge Board of Education vote to affirm the policy was 4-3 with one abstention. Board members Jay Slade, Lisa Lent, Jennifer D’Antuono and Marjorie Jodrey voted in favor while Devinder Singh, Matt Sulikowski and Frank Weber voted against. Board President Salvatore Giordano, who earlier this year unsuccessfully ran in the GOP primary for a state Assembly seat, abstained.

The vote came after weeks of often spirited discussion at board meetings about the policy.

At the Nov. 14 school board meeting, a 14-year-old student whose mother said she had “transitioned a long time ago” spoke in favor of the policy.

"I feel as if the people who were speaking for this cause are constantly repeating themselves, because the people on the opposing side won't listen," she said. "I've heard people compare this policy to people going through substance abuse and home life abuse, which is completely different from a gender identity. One is someone's identity, and one is someone's way of coping with something. Please for the sake of transgender children and the overall small group of kids that need this policy, please keep it in."

More: Ramapo College faces controversy, threats after transgender swimmer breaks school record

Soon after she spoke, an audience member berated the teen, calling her "he" and a "sexual deviant." The board stopped the man from continuing to speak.

Anne Ettinger, the student’s mother, told the board the man’s comments may have been a blessing in disguise.

"He was easily emotionally abusive to my child so what is going to stop him from doing it again?" Ettinger said. "In 2015, JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) found emotional abuse is equally as detrimental to mental and behavioral health as violent abuse. These kids need to be protected. And you just saw a little taste of what my daughter goes through."

Ettinger said there are more parents and transgender students in favor of the policy but can't speak up because "they don't feel safe."

"I think it actually turned out to be a good thing that he stood up and spoke because I think the Board of Ed really needed to see what these kids go through," Ettinger said. "And what she had been going through at school. I think it opened up their eyes to the emotional trauma that these kids go through. I'm happy that they affirmed the policy that's been in effect for six years with no problem. I'm so grateful to the board. I am very thankful that they were supportive."

Superintendent of Schools David Cittadino likened the situation to his experience in parochial school.

"You went to that Confession," he said. "You could tell them you murdered somebody. And they couldn't tell your parents. They couldn't tell the police. They can't tell anyone. Parental rights? I know I had a conversation with my clergy about things that I wasn't sure about. But Father Tom never called my parents. The gender identity is the area we are discussing, but sometimes I feel it gets lost in there."

Cittadino said teachers do not instruct about gender identity, hand out gender-affirming medications, or give suggestions or recommendations for gender-affirming doctors. They do, however, report abuse, and would do so if a transgender child is experiencing abuse.

"Sadly, at least weekly, sometimes twice a week, one of our staff members by law has to call DCP&P (state Division of Child Protection and Permanency) because of a concern of child neglect or abuse and that doesn't separate between gender identities. All students, we protect them, and as I said last week that is that same thing we would do in this situation," the superintendent said. "A third of a percentage point, we're talking about students that are impacted by this policy. And I have no record of how many times it's been applied. I can tell you how many times a parent has come to me and said they were upset that they found out that their child was transgender, and we knew first and didn't tell them, and that's been zero."

More: 'Nothing sufficient was done': Manville schools sued over transgender student's suicide

Cittadino said parents are not notified when a child confides other things to teachers, such as losing their virginity or if they are gay.

Louise Walpin, director of advocacy and organizing for the statewide grassroots group SWEEP (Suburban Women Engaged, Empowered and Pissed), said other school districts should follow Old Bridge’s lead.

"We believe that this vote is newsworthy as it shows that this board supports the transgender community," Walpin said.

"These are just kids that have to be protected," she said. "It's not a matter of keeping a secret. It's a matter of helping these children, who maybe at this point in time can't come out. This policy is just to protect these kids. A child has to be safe."

Ettinger, the student’s mother, told the board that the policy is "not about taking parental rights away" but rather "politicians are making you think that your rights are being taken away because their end goal is taking away basic human rights from transgender children."

"There is such a hypocrisy within this world," Ettinger said. "What a beautiful world it could be, where everyone is different, and we all have different opinions. I just don't understand why that's not okay. Boring − it would be boring if we're all exactly the same."

Slade, one of the school board members, said the board needed to take a stand on the policy so it could concentrate on more pressing issues, such as infrastructure, overcrowding, teacher shortages, transportation, supply chain delays, the state of staff and student mental health and learning loss.

"We can't have these meetings and keep hearing the same thing," he said. "We need to concern ourselves with other things."

email: cmakin@gannettnj.com

Cheryl Makin is an award-winning features and education reporter for MyCentralJersey.com, part of the USA Today Network. Contact: Cmakin@gannettnj.com or @CherylMakin. To get unlimited access, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.

This article originally appeared on MyCentralJersey.com: Old Bridge school board first to affirm NJ transgender student policy