OMG, I Want This House: Malibu, CA

Allison McNearney
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The Daily Beast presents a look at one of the most insane houses in the world.

You’ve come to a crossroads in life. You’re ready to—choose your own adventure—retire, change careers, embrace a life of bohemian luxury. You’re thinking it might be time to invest in—yes, you’re actually going there—a mobile home, one with a couple bedrooms, one with a view, and one that, most importantly, is fashion. This is not a pipe dream; we have the perfect place for you. Welcome to your posh trailer park chateau which recently went on the market for a cool $2 million courtesy of fashion designer Betsey Johnson.

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This is no “little black dress” of family homes. It is a hot pink creative wonderland the likes of which could have only been conjured by the mind of a true original, the cotton candy queen of camp, the one and only, Betsey Johnson.

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When you live in Malibu, it’s important to take full advantage of the great outdoors. To that end, enjoy the coastal breeze in your pergola-covered living room on the back porch. Johnson moved into this home in 2016 and spent $500,000 putting her style stamp on every nook and cranny.

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Once you shell out a low seven digits for your new spot in Paradise Cove Mobile Home Park, you’re allowed to do with it what you will. But may we request that you keep the nick-knack fever alive when it comes to decorating your en plein air salon?

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On those days when the notoriously awful Malibu weather drives you indoors (as if!), invite your posh park neighbors to a little wining and dining in the kitchen where Johnson has proven that any space is a good space to pair vintage florals with a statement chandelier.

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When you imagined your dream property, it may never have occurred to you that you would be shelling out $2 million for 1,500 square feet. But have we mentioned this property is on a bluff overlooking the Pacific with access to one of Malibu’s finest sandy shores? That’s $2 mil well spent.

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Johnson told Mansion Global that her hot pink abode “holds all my treasures.” And about that exterior color choice: “I’ve always been inspired by the Beverly Hills hotel and any pink house…Painting it pink was happily shocking to the neighbors.”

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The large master bedroom is spruced up with some appropriately 70s-inspired furniture and a massive walk-in closet. Just because you live in a tricked out mobile home doesn’t mean you should skimp on space for all of your designer duds. (Cue some Johnson-worthy cartwheels.)

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Is it any surprise that the designer known for vibrant colors, wacky patterns, and eccentric design decided to paint her bedroom a striking shade of neon yellow? This master bedroom prefers to be addressed formally as The Yellow Room.

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The Paradise Cove Mobile Home Park has been called “America’s Most Glamorous Trailer Park” by The New York Times. With two bedrooms and two bathrooms complete with indoor plumbing and plenty of white marble, Johnson’s villa lives up to the mobile home hype.

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As we have all learned from the coastal sage Jimmy Buffett, it’s always five o’clock somewhere when you live on the ocean. But when said community is surrounded by multi-million dollar homes and offers you access to a very private beach in Malibu, you may be expected to dip into the best of the proverbial wine cellar for those happy hour offerings.

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Only a true fashion original could mix retro, beach, and chic into a decor scheme that not only works, but is an absolute delight. This image is proof that Johnson has some very special fairy dust up her impeccably designed sleeves.

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With home ownership in this little enclave of Malibu comes the privacy of a gated community and access to amenities like tennis courts and a clubhouse. Paradise Cove Mobile Home Park was first settled by fisherman in the 1950s, and it retains that golden-age charm of friendly neighbors and free-range kids.

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Some million-dollar homes have an outdoor pool or hot tub...but who wants those cookie cutter luxuries? This mobile home palace has an outdoor soaking tub, a clawfoot bathtub that was the main reason Johnson bought the property in the first place. You can thank the queen of pink for turning your soaking environs into a tropical garden paradise.

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And we mean paradise. Johnson created a garden surrounding her home that is nothing short of a backyard oasis. This dashing shack can be used for storage à la Johnson or turned into a creative studio for imaginative pursuits of your own.

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It’s like the secret garden, but with a little more kitsch and a little less formality. We thank you for your service, Betsey. Now, any chance you can loan us a couple million?

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