OMG, I Want This House: San Francisco, CA

Allison McNearney
Photo Illustration by The Daily Beast/Trulia

The Daily Beast presents a look at one of the most insane houses in the world.

Living in a tower hasn’t historically conjured the coziest of images—can we please observe a moment of silence for the Rapunzels and Hunchbacks of the world. But we think those poor souls would have felt a little differently if their vertical environs were in this luxurious clocktower in the SoMa neighborhood of San Francisco (that’s South of Market to all you non-tech bros). In one of the most competitive real estate markets in the country, the Clocktower Penthouse offers both a covetable amount of space and the chance to lord over your fellow residents from one of the most distinct homes in the Golden City.

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The most important number here is not the price ($6 million) or the number of tower floors (three); it’s 1300, the whopping amount of square feet of private terrace space in your new digs.

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When the fog rolls in over the bay, put some logs on the fire and imagine that you’re living in a palace in the clouds. (Whether you use California’s favorite plant to enhance this fantasy is up to you.)

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It may seem a little crazy to be paying $6 million for 3,000 square feet of interior space that only has two bedrooms, but those boudoirs are pretty fine. Plus, your inner party animal will appreciate the ample areas reserved for entertaining.

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This closet is a walk-in, a walk-through, and a walk-around. You could do laps in this thing, which is probably good considering the $6 million price tag may put a damper on your gym membership plans.

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The two bedrooms are paired with two bathrooms, all on the main floor of the Clocktower Penthouse.

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Despite what New Yorkers may say, San Francisco is a lovely place to live. But, no matter how majestic your terrace may be, sometimes the weather in the great north (of California) isn’t conducive to outdoor dining. This dashing dining room is the perfect setting for what we are sure will be an epic housewarming feast. (Calling all local gossip columnists…)

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Some people find cooking to be a creative, even meditative, affair. While we don’t understand those people, we do appreciate the opportunity to enjoy a gorgeous view while we’re slaving away over the stove.

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Built in the early 1900s, this building housed a major West Coast paper company for much of its life. While the Max Schmidt Lithography Co. moved out nearly 25 years ago to make way for a residential renovation, hints of the building’s industrial past can still be found in the penthouse decor.

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The clocktower has three floors of additional space, one each for a game room, an office, and, most importantly, the living room that we very formally and haughtily refer to as Le Clock Room.

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In 1993, the first ever owner bought this penthouse after the industrial space turned residential. The good news is, you will be only the second owner to live in this gem; the bad news: the first owner only paid $710,000.

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You’re never too American to have a little British inspo in soothing neutrals in your bedroom.

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Note to self: make sure your office desk has a chair that resembles a throne so your visitors get the full aristocratic effect. Long live the Clocktower Queen!

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Everybody knows that the higher your office, the higher your status, even if that office was a self-appointed one in your own home. It also doesn’t hurt to have a 360-degree view of the city.

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Get ready to do some serious entertaining in the Clocktower Penthouse. Not only do the living spaces on the main floor create the perfect party ambiance, but you also have this little tower den that you can turn into a refuge for your VIPs. (But take our advice: segregating your guests with a red velvet rope is not recommended.)

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Popcorn, a fur throw, and an interior view of the giant clock that can be seen from around the city and across the bay makes for a very cozy winter night.

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One of the perks of living in a clocktower: the opportunities to play a prime April Fool’s joke on the city each year. Yes, sir, you really are three hours late to work. Better start running those hills…

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With an outdoor sitting area that looks like this, it’s pretty much mandatory that you get into the craft spirits business just so your new ads can be photographed here. Do it for the terrace.

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As the sun goes down and the city lights come on, rest assured that all eyes will be trained on you…well, on your gorgeous clock, but let’s just gloss over that little detail.

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