OPINION: ALFORD: Roadkill Grill serving up Chunk of Skunk, Outta Luck Duck
Oct. 30—I got a kick out of a menu I saw the other day for the fictional Roadkill Grill restaurant.
The menu included Road Toad Ala Mode, Chunk of Skunk, Outta Luck Duck, Whippoorwill on a Grill, Swirl of Squirrel, and, perhaps worst of all, Rigor Mortis Tortoise.
I wonder how many of us would admit to ever having eaten roadkill? I recall having what I might call Fowl on the Prowl, a wild turkey that didn't make it all the way across the road, and I've had Smear of Deer from a fleet-footed buck that jumped directly in front of our vehicle.
The thing about country folks, we can field dress wild game whether it's bagged on a hunt or on a highway.
The Bible tells us wild game has been on the menu for thousands of years. We read in Genesis about how much the Old Testament patriarch Isaac loved his venison, and about how the Israelites feasted on quail as they made their way from Egypt toward the Promised Land.
It was certainly on my family's menu as I grew up. Momma fried every fish, squirrel, and rabbit I brought home as a kid. My mouth waters when I think about the oven-baked grouse and the deer steaks. We ate lots of poke with soup beans. We'd pick gallons of blackberries. Those she didn't turn into jams and jellies, she'd prepare in cobblers or with dumplings. Hickory nuts and black walnuts would be used in homemade fudge. and that's not even getting in the vegetable gardens we grew. Do you remember the fresh corn on the cob? Or fried corn? Or those tomatoes sliced and salted? Or those sweet peas and potatoes?
The Lord surely has prepared a bounty for families who are fortunate enough to live in the country, and who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with a mother who knew how to turn that bounty into a banquet.
I was telling someone the other day about the marvelous group of mothers who, after their children were raised, took jobs at Union College back in the early 1980s. Chelsey Warfield, Ann Hammons, Ann Pritchard, Flo Gray and Helen Messer were a culinary dream team. They saw to it that students were well fed, not just in terms of serving sizes but in terms of the best-tasting meals to be found anywhere.
My mouth waters just thinking about those incredible meals. I tell you, if they had their own restaurant, they'd have retired rich. Their dishes really were that good.
Looking back, I have come to understand that we would not have done as well in the classrooms if not for this dream team doing their part in the cafeteria.
And while they'd never have fed us roadkill, I can tell you, if they had, it would have been beyond delicious, whether Flat Cat, Center Line Bovine or even Smidgen of Pigeon.
Reach Roger Alford at 502-514-6857 or rogeralford1@gmail.com.
