OPINION: ALFORD: For tough guys, injuries only hurt when you laugh

Jul. 23—Two hunters were making their way through the woods when a big bear attacked, grabbing the toughest of them, a man who was mostly muscle and gristle.

The hunter and bear wrestled first one direction then another, grunting and growling, claws and teeth flashing.

The other hunter looked at his friend, spotted several gashes and a good bit of blood running down his face and arms.

"Hey ol' buddy, does that hurt?"

"Only when I laugh," he replied.

I love stories about tough guys. Maybe you remember the story of Louis Zamperini, a former Olympic track star who served in World War II. He survived a plane crash into the Pacific, spent 47 days adrift on a raft only to be captured by the Japanese and spent 2 1/2 years as a POW. He survived unimaginable atrocities and, in the process, surrendered his life to Christ in whom he found great strength.

Lieutenant Audie Murphy, who some of you older readers will remember as a movie star, was the most decorated U.S. soldier in history. He received the Congressional Medal of Honor for the day he single handedly fought off six German tanks and several hundred Nazi infantrymen.

Murphy climbed atop a burning tank and used its .50 caliber machine gun to kill more than 20 German soldiers, repelling their attack, despite being wounded in the process.

One of my childhood heroes was a guy named Jess Perkins who lived in southeastern Kentucky. He made his living in the coal mines and log woods. He'd work during the day and coon hunt at night.

I remember going hunting with him and one of his friends one time. When their dogs treed the coons, one would climb the tree and shake the animal out. The other would catch it barehanded and put it into a potato sack, alive. They'd then take their captured coons to areas that didn't have very many and turn them loose.

Until then, I had never before met anyone willing to grab a full-grown coon with his bare hands.

Then, I went turtle noodling with a guy named Bear. He would reach back into holes in the creek banks and feel for snapping turtles. When he'd find one, he'd grab it by the tail and pull it out. I saw him bare handedly pull a muskrat out of its den one time.

But I really believe the toughest man I ever heard of was a preacher we all know as the Apostle Paul. He was preaching in a city called Lystra and, in doing so, he made some of those rascals mad. They stoned him and dragged his lifeless body out of the city. When he came to, I kid you not, he went back into that city. Now that's tough.

If one of the Christian brothers had asked Paul if it hurt, I expect he just might have said, "Only when I laugh."

Reach Roger Alford at 502-514-6857 or rogeralford1@gmail.com.