Opinion/Brown: Is our love of football a devil’s bargain?

In the middle of a football game, my wife and I found ourselves phoning friends we knew who loved the sport.  There was no real reason for calling, really.  We just wanted to reach out to people who might have seen Damar Hamlin, just 24 years old, take a hit, then melt down onto the field. No pulse. No breath.

Everything stopped. Medics arrived to restart his heart while players of both teams formed a protective ring around the fallen player. Soon, both teams had sunk to their knees in prayer; many players were openly holding each other and crying. Tens of thousands in the stadium stayed put long after it was obvious that the game was over. I think, like those watching at home, they had suddenly found themselves knit together into a community of mutual grief and hope.

Not everybody likes football. I’ve heard people compare it to the gladiatorial games of Rome. If football is like that, then football fans must be like the spectators in the coliseum, roaring lustily as blood spattered the sand.

Let’s face it. If they were playing flag football, hardly anyone would watch. But what happened when Hamlin fell betrayed the difference between football and the gladiators? The American sports fan wants to see the hit. We just want the players to be all right after it. When it’s clear someone is hurt, I don’t care if it’s the pros or peewee football, the place falls into an instant hush. This is not what we came for.

I’m writing you the morning after Damar Hamlin’s young heart stopped and was revived again. For all I know, he might be back in the bosom of his family, or he might be dead. But maybe this time, we might understand things better by staying in this moment … by not knowing. Here in this painful place, we can only pray — and think.

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Maybe there’s a built-in absurdity to wanting such a physical game and not wanting anyone to get hurt. Despite the new penalties and protocols, a lot of players have gotten injured this year. How can that be OK? Why, for example, can you still tackle a quarterback after he’s already released the ball?

I’m trying to think with you out loud without having a destination already in mind. When I was a boy, they organized teams by weight, not age. I was on the 55-pound team when I started playing football. Tall and gawky, I wasn’t any good at it and by the time I grew into my own body, I’d become a champion runner. I’d have lost my scholarship if I’d tried out for football in college. But I loved to play. I played with guys at my apartment complex in my 20s. When I became a teacher, I played football with my students at recess for the next 30 years.

For the most part, the relative few who make the pros have found a way to continue playing at something they love at the ultimate level. Given his choice to remain married or play football, Tom Brady chose football — over Gisele Bündchen!

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Have you seen her? And they have kids together. It’s a devil’s bargain to love a dangerous game that much.

Two months ago, I was struck by a car while walking.  I’m just now recovering from it.  What if, even at half my age, someone offered me a million dollars?  All I’d have to do was to consent to being hit by a car, in public, every Sunday. Still, for all its brutish features, football is a game of strategy, intelligence, intuition and — occasionally — balletic grace. If I’m too old to play it anymore, I still like to watch.

Just like everyone else, I don’t want anyone to get hurt, as internally contrary as that is. When we were kids, we climbed trees and rode our bikes on city streets. I ride a motorcycle, after all. Even our parents accepted risk as a part of growth. And there it sits.

One last thing. When Hamlin hit the turf, the distinction between teams dissolved. As a nation, there are forces at work making sure we never get to experience anything as a single individual. Within a news cycle, counter-narratives are dreamed up to force us back into tribal loyalties and antagonistic sides. Every event is weaponized for the political struggle.

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The Bengals and the Bills got a moment of clarity that night. As the ambulance carried Hamlin away, both teams knew one thing for sure. They didn’t want to play anymore. They didn’t want to hit anyone, at least not for a while.

Lawrence Brown is a columnist for the Cape Cod Times.  Email him at columnresponse@gmail.com.

Editor's note: Damar Hamlin was revived by rescue and medical professionals after he collapsed during the Jan. 2 game. He was released from the hospital on Wednesday, nine days after going into cardiac arrest.

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This article originally appeared on Cape Cod Times: Damar Hamlin's near death has football fans wondering about the sport