Opinion: The funerals of my grandmother and Rosalynn Carter reveal many similarities

On Nov. 16, my grandmother died, less than two months before her 102nd birthday and about 30 minutes before our daughter’s wedding day.

On Nov. 19, at age 96 and 3 months, former first lady Rosalynn Carter died.

My grandmother’s funeral was on Saturday, Nov. 25, and streamed on Zoom, while Mrs. Carter’s was held on Nov. 28 and broadcast live all over the nation. My grandmother had her family on the front row while Carter had her family, all living former first ladies, as well as President Joe Biden and former President Bill Clinton, at her funeral.

While there are a number of differences between the life of Helen Marie Billeter Merrill and Eleanor Rosalynn Smith Carter, there are also a number of similarities.

Both were born just after the 19th Amendment was ratified, giving women across the country the right to vote. Both were born at home with midwives. Both grew up during the Depression and both did well in school. Both married dashing young men and both had four children: Jack, Chip, Donnel and Amy for the Carters and Doug, Sallianne, Linda and Frank for the Merrills.

Rosalynn traveled to 120 countries. My grandmother (GG, for short), traveled to nearly that many in her role as a tour guide. GG began taking people on tours in the 1950s, while she still had kids at home — almost unheard of at the time! That role continued for almost 30 years, but the travel did not stop when the formalized tour groups stopped.

My grandmother was still touring the world on her own when she was in her upper 80s — and then she continued traveling with her children until relatively recently. That’s more than 70 years of travel. It will come as no surprise, then, that I and a number of her other grandchildren also love to travel.

Both GG Merrill and Rosalynn Carter had a love of this earth, its people and its places. Rosalynn Carter was an ardent supporter of and advocate for monarch butterflies and of course, her work with the Carter Center impacted the lives of millions. GG was passionate about similar causes and put her money where her heart was. I got a half a cow one year — or more precisely, Heifer International got a half a cow in my name.

My grandmother also loved to garden, a trait I also inherited. She gardened while she was raising children, selling blackberries by the pailful to eventually pay for indoor plumbing. She gardened as an empty-nester and she gardened in her twilight years. I visited her when she was 95 and I was put to work pulling weeds. She participated in garden clubs and earned the title of master gardener (as did I, many years later). She was a daffodil expert. Her grandchildren include trained musicians, writers, entrepreneurs, military veterans, lawyers, chefs and more.

The funerals of these two women showed me that grandmothers are the same everywhere. Carter’s grandson, Jason, shared that the former first lady was still a grandma — he got a birthday card with a $20 bill, even into his 40s. (Same here, although mine was a $2 bill!) He also shared the story about a family trip and how, at the back of the plane, where they were all gathered, his grandmother took out a Tupperware of pimiento cheese and a loaf of bread and started making sandwiches for everyone. Once she finished making sandwiches for her family, she started giving them to others on the plane, the way any grandmother would.

I watched both funerals. I laughed during both and I cried during both. Both of these women blazed their own trails in an era that wasn’t exactly supportive of female trailblazers. They left a legacy that their families look to today. I am most grateful.

Holly Richardson is proud the be the oldest grandchild of Helen Merrill. She hopes to visit as many countries as her GG did before she dies.