OPINION: The joys of meat and potato grandparenting

Nov. 26—When it comes to grand parenting, there are at least two major categories.

One I call the "meat and potato" category. This is where extended families live in the same community and are in touch multiple times through the week. All in the family help each other out on a regular basis, whether it is cooking a congregate meal, getting in firewood, juggling schedules to take care of the kiddos, swapping out chores or helping fix technological snafus.

A second category is one I call the "spice of life." These are grandparents whose children live hours or even states away and the families only get together several times a year — if they are lucky.

There are other categories, of course, but our families have generally fallen into these two.

As grandparents, we are in the meat and potato category. We live practically next door to our grandchildren and are an integral part of their daily lives. Before the twins started kindergarten, we cared for them one to two days a week as their parents worked, and now we are the ones who meet the school bus when they get home.

We cook dinner several days a week, too, and they love staying with us long enough to enjoy a bubble bath or just a few more games.

Such regular interaction also puts "meat and potatoes" grandparents into the disciplinarian category, as well. That's not just because it would be irresponsible leave it all to their parents when they are with us so much, but because undisciplined children aren't that fun to be around.

Our grandparent interactions are run-of-the-mill, day-to-day activities. Our 6-year-old twins help with chores, get help with homework and must clean up after all four of us have enjoyed a rousing game of "school" where Harper is the teacher, Rich, Hudson and I try to stay out of the principal's office, and the "stuffies" round out the class.

We really don't leave the farm much other than an occasional trip to the park or the library. Screen time is still discouraged, so that leaves lots of time for reading, being outdoors or playing games.

Grandparents who live miles away and don't have the option of daily interaction must make each minute of every visit count. That often happens by packing in every fun, age-appropriate activity that can be found into each visit.

Time spent with the "spice of life" grandparents is indeed memorable and mostly gains this set of grandparents the reputation of being the fun ones, even the preferred relatives.

Those who only see their grandchildren occasionally can be off the hook when it comes to discipline as the short-lived moments together are to be savored in every way.

The "spice of life" set often gets to be the special occasion relatives because when adult children get time off during longer holidays or summer vacations, extended family visits are the go-to gatherings.

That leaves the "meat and potatoes" grandparents home alone on major holidays, which has been true in our case almost since the twins were born.

While it is lonely as we celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas without the joy of children in our midst, Rich and I firmly agree that being the "meat and potatoes" category is, by far, the best fate.

While we're not the ones who will be remembered for those "spice of life" moments that will never fade, our extended times together have created indelible memories for us, and hopefully for Harper and Hudson, as well.

We get to be here when there are life lessons to be taught, when proper guidance can make the difference between good or bad choices and during the ups and downs of life that crop up, regardless of age.

All grandparents have a role to play when it comes to introducing the next generation to our world.

For us, there is immense satisfaction in knowing we are part of the expanded circle of influence that can help a child feel loved, treasured and self-confident as they make their way in this world, step-by-step, year-by-year.