Opinion: Be mindful of the stress children might face during the holidays
As much as we all love seeing friends and family during the holidays, there is no escaping the fact that the holidays can also bring increased stress. For families, the holidays include additional commitments like shopping and holiday parties, on top of the normal routines of work, caring for children, and keeping the household rolling along.
Maybe that’s why December was optimistically designated as National Stress-Free Family Holidays Month. In 2022, the thought of a stress-free family holiday may sound like an especially tall order as we approach a season in which many of us are returning to full family gatherings for the first time since before the pandemic.
COVID-19’s effect on the mental health of children has been well documented, as the demand for psychological services for children rose sharply in the last several years. And now for some kids, big holiday gatherings could bring a significant new source of stress in their young lives. Adults who are settling back into a familiar holiday schedule can help the children in our world by recognizing that this may be a new life experience for them, especially toddlers and preschoolers.
Fortunately, there are a number of steps adults can take to help kids prepare. For starters, if you are going to a family gathering, tell your kids what to expect in advance. Your relatives may have changed in the last three years, so pull out some pictures ahead of time. Even better, use a video call to make those visual reintroductions. Likewise, when you’re getting ready to say farewell to loved ones once again after being away from them for so long during the pandemic, give kids a 5-minute warning so the withdrawal doesn’t again have to be so sudden.
Be realistic for your expectations of kids who are facing groups of people for the first time in a long time. Imagine if your first visit to a shopping mall was on Black Friday, and how intimidating all those people could be. Learn to pick up on signals that your child is overwhelmed. And for teenagers who may become peppered with questions from relatives, chose a mutual sign ahead of time for them to indicate they need a break.
Honor your children’s boundaries. If they don’t want to give hugs, respect that choice, because it sets a positive example for later in life. Boundaries apply to household routines, too. Stick to the same bedtime routines, even with holiday visitors, and make sure visitors know about them. Routines are a steadying influence on the lives of children.
Holiday travel may be a new experience too. Again, because knowing what to expect can be helpful, tell younger children how many sleeps you’ll be away. And for those who are a bit older, remember that time with peers is valuable, so don’t block those important social connections.
Even with these tips, returning to the intense hustle and bustle of the holidays after a two-year hiatus will inevitably introduce some level of stress for families. At Beech Acres Parenting Center, we help adults and children navigate through many stressful moments in life by leaning on three pillars – intentionality, character strengths and mindfulness.
Knowing that stressful moments may come, talk with your family about being intentional to have a stress-free holiday. Adults and children alike can also lean on their unique natural gifts to fuel us through difficult moments. Mindfulness exercises can further help to calm our minds and release stress.
Perhaps the best advice for adults and children this season is to simply slow down. Sprinkling in some moments of strength, mindfulness and intentionality can bring more enjoyment of these special days for the entire family.
Kerry Brown is a parenting specialist with Beech Acres Parenting Center in Cincinnati.
This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Opinion: Be mindful of stress children might face during the holidays
