Opinion: Our planet's decline can elicit loss and grieving

I learned a new word recently — ‘solastalgia’ — which means "losing a sense of belonging to a place." It has gained currency as migration patterns shift and natural disasters change the face of landscapes we’ve known.

There is also the new-ish word "ecoanxiety," which describes how many people are feeling in the face of species extinction and habitat loss. It’s related to the field of ecopsychology, which, according to Theodore Roszak, defines sanity "as if the whole world mattered." So many of the problems our species faces may be linked to our sense of separateness from the natural world, allowing climate systems to deteriorate to the point of collapse.

In the past couple of years, we’ve also experienced the pandemic, and political unrest. Lots of crises, so much loss. All these can evoke feelings of grief. Add to that the natural losses humans face, and it’s understandable that many people are feeling distress.

I’ve been working on a book that deals with how people respond to crisis. In that context I had the opportunity to interview Chris Klug about grief in general. Klug is a local grieving counselor and mindfulness instructor. (He prefers the word "grieving" to "grief," since, as he points out, grieving is an ongoing process, not a static thing.)

“I look at grieving as the normal, healthy response of the human person to the universal experience of loss,” Klug says. “Whether that loss is related to relationship, death, to a hope or dream, to a species, our health — there are lots of significant losses — grieving is this natural process.”

When someone is grieving, they may experience something that doesn’t feel normal — short-term memory loss, difficulty following through, mood swings. Physically, the most common characteristics are change in appetite or change of sleep pattern; some people feel an ache where the heart is.

But the prevailing medical model too often sees grieving as a problem to be solved, or medicated away, Klug says. And the culture at large is not very good at talking about it.

This reminds me of a scene from the film “My Dinner with Andre.” One character has been at a party, where someone’s loved one has recently died, and guests are trying to ignore what happened and gin up small talk. A person from a tribal culture, where emotions may be more embodied or readily expressed, the character muses, would think they were all insane.

I suspect that sense of distance from or denial of our emotions may be the byproduct of living in an individualistic culture that values product over process, accumulation over collaboration, achievement over presence.

In any event, we don’t get over grief, Klug points out. Rather, the hope is to integrate. Every past loss gets integrated into who we are now. We can cooperate with the process, but we’re not necessarily in charge. What’s important, he says, is staying connected to what’s been lost.

There can be periods of active, acute grieving, then it may drop off, then come back. It takes as long as it takes. Klug sees an increase in grieving especially around the holidays, as significant memories of shared holiday experiences surface.

I asked Klug if there are certain strategies that are applicable to any kind of grieving, whether it’s the loss of a person, or the loss of the planet.

To grieve one needs to take what is inside and get it out, he says. You can journal, cry, or share your pain with another person, but the important thing is to get the energy of the emotion moving, to not be "stuck" in it.

Get into the body, he says. It’s important to remember that emotions are visitors; they are not who we are. Breathe, be in the body, and shift your relationship to the emotion, he counsels.

Secondly, one needs to remember the person or thing lost. Memory is how we stay connected and integrating.

Those trying to support others who are grieving, Klug says, are encouraged to listen, acknowledge and validate the experience, and reiterate the normalcy of the grieving process.

There’s an existential aspect to all of this, and perhaps that’s compounded as we ponder the loss of species and habitat. “Every human being is trying to figure out what they’re doing here,” Klug says. “We’re all going to get sick and die, what’s the point? Some people’s religious faith provides answers, other people find answers outside of religion. But especially when a loss happens suddenly, unexpectedly, and out of the natural order, it can shake our assumptive world.”

I believe our assumptions are being shaken in relation to the future of the planet. If you’re struggling with any kind of loss, know that there are strategies that can be used.

And as we wake up to the reality of the planet burning, let us grieve, and then let us act.

Andy Douglas is the author of "Redemption Songs: A Year in the Life of a Community Prison Choir" and "The Curve of the World: Into the Spiritual Heart of Yoga."

This article originally appeared on Iowa City Press-Citizen: Opinion: Our planet's decline can produce loss and grieving