OPINION: Terms of endearment: When Sweetie is OK but Darlin' is not

Sep. 24—The salutation written in the email caught me off guard.

I was expecting "Hello," "Good evening" or just a simple "Hi Sam."

Instead I read, "Hey darlin!"

This message came not from a good friend, family member or loved one. Instead, it was sent by a state lawmaker who I know solely on a journalist-legislator basis.

I have interviewed him as part of editorial board sessions, spoken with him a few times about potential stories and received an occasional email about statehouse happenings.

So why is he addressing me as "darlin."

What. The. Hell?

----Let's be honest, southern West Virginia — for all intents and purposes — is The South.

We make pecan pie, drink homemade dandelion wine and enjoy espousing love and comfort with the use of endearments.

In the course of any given week — or day — I get called "Honey" or "Sweetie" a half-dozen times.

I take no offense.

I hold open doors for elderly men, and women, and say "thank you" when they do the same for me.

But there is a big difference when a fast-food clerk — male or female — says, "Here's your coffee Hon," and an elected official references you as "darlin" in a professional missive.

I am not OK with that.

----After working in the newspaper business for 30 years — one-third in Lifestyles and the rest in news — it's hard to get under my skin.

Trust me, there are no bigger critics than mothers of brides angry because a 10-foot train on a wedding dress was cropped from a free photo and announcement.

Well, maybe not.

The mothers of arrested bad guys can also be very "momma bearish."

I can't count the number of times I have been taken to task about a front-page story on a felony arrest.

"My son didn't do it!" the mom screams at me. "They may have video but he was framed!"

At the end of the call I hang up the phone and go on with my day.

In this juncture in my career, it would likely take a nightstick and boulder thrown from a catapult to break through my thick skin.

----I do not consider myself to be a "women's libber." The term is one I vaguely recall from my youth.

In my childhood days our family read the Daily Telegraph faithfully and watched the national news each evening.

I realized from the reports at the time that women were wanting equality in the workplace and in society.

It was a good movement — a great one. and one the men and women in our household supported.

But it was also a bit brazen for a country family living in the heart of Appalachian.

We didn't say the word "bra" in mixed company, much less take one off and burn it while being filmed for the TV news.

----I may not be fond of titles like Women's Liberation Movement, but I do believe in respect — for those of all genders, all cultures and all beliefs.

Regrettably, some people do not realize that disrespect can be generated in the slightest of words.

A hateful comment.

A nasty social message.

Or an inappropriate email salutation.

----The email message was received almost a month ago. It has lingered since like a festering thorn under the skin.

Interestingly, the rest of the communication was gloomy.

It told of a good friend, once prominent in the community, who had passed away.

Really?

Let's sum it up: "Hey darlin." This guy died. Maybe you want to do a story.

----I've not responded to the email, and I likely will not.

Respect matters.

And it goes both ways.

Samantha Perry is editor of the Daily Telegraph. Contact her at sperry@bdtonline.com. Follow her @BDTPerry.

— Contact Samantha Perry at sperry@bdtonline.com.