OPINION: What's love got to do with it? Plenty

Jul. 19—If you've been married more than seven years, congratulations. You've beaten the odds.

That's the average length of a first marriage in the United States, according to statistics that popped up on the ol' computer from LawInfo.com, a Web site that's full of information regarding the state of marriage today.

And did you notice? It's talking "first marriage."

More than half of today's marriages end in divorce, the Web site said. Most people do give wedded life a second chance, but even then, the road to happiness is sprinkled with potholes. Second-timers stay married only 40 percent of the time. For those who give it a third shot, only 27% avoid strike three.

That's why the news that crossed this desk in recent days is worth a toast from the finest bottle of champagne. Four area couples will — or already have — either celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary or are close to it. They are:

—Marilyn and Clayton Seibert, of Spencerville, who will be celebrating their 70th anniversary on Wednesday.

—Donna and John Smith, of Columbus Grove, who last Thursday celebrated 70 years of marriage.

—Patsy and Dan Lamb, of Lima, who celebrated their 69th anniversary on July 5.

—And Margaret and Jonas Mack of Ayersville, who are celebrating their 69th wedding anniversary today. Their son, Steve Mack, is a longtime resident of Van Wert as well as a cousin of yours truly.

So, what do these four couples know that others are still trying to figure out?

The guys will joke it's about keeping the peace, saying "we've learned to listen a lot," or remarking "you have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."

The truth is, if you're looking for a winner-take-all card that will ensure a successful marriage, it's not in the deck, said 89-year-old Clayton Seibert. Living happily ever after involves many things, from patience and understanding to knowing when to say "yes darling" and when to uncork the bottle and let your thoughts out.

"Marriage is not a 50-50 proposition," Patsy Lamb pointed out. "That's where some people fall down. It involves a lot of give-and-take, and it's not always even."

What's love got to do with it?

Plenty, the couples point out.

Clayton and Marilyn Seibert married when he was 18 and she was 17. They grew up on farms located within a mile of each other. "He had his eye on me as a young boy," Marilyn said, still needling him to this day.

Throughout the years they've shared the same interests. In 1951, just months after being married, they purchased her family's farm where as a young girl, Marilyn milked cows and raised hogs and steers. To make that purchase happen, Clayton Seibert drove a half hour each night to a factory job in Van Wert, where he worked the midnight shift. He then would come home to farm during the daylight hours. Marilyn helped with the chores while raising their five children.

"We didn't have time to quarrel, we were too busy working," said Marilyn.

Patsy Lamb was actually dating one of Dan's friends when they met. They saw each other and sparks flew. Six months later at the age of 19, they were man and wife. Not long after came a call from Uncle Sam and Dan was off to Germany — sans wife — as a member of the U.S. Army. Jonas Mack was given his orders from Uncle Sam and was in the Navy during the Korean Conflict when he and Marge were married.

Getting through that time as newlyweds was a test of commitment.

But in today's disposable society, it's different now. If things get a little bumpy between husband or wife, you just trade your partner in for a new model.

"I think younger people nowadays can be too quick to call it quits," Patsy Lamb said. "In our day, divorce was almost unheard of, so you worked harder at your marriage."

A long, lasting marriage can be a powerful force. Marilyn Seibert and Patsy Lamb say it's what helped each of them get through the loss of a child.

Marilyn's youngest daughter, Jody, died at the age of 31 from complications of what was supposed to be a routine surgery. "It was the hardest thing we ever went through. A child is not supposed to die before a parent," she said.

Patsy and Dan's son, Mike Lamb, died five years ago on the day after their 64th wedding anniversary. He was a highly respected school superintendent at both Perry and Shawnee school systems. He worked with then-state Rep. Bob Cupp in the early stages of what is now known as Ohio's new Fair School Funding Plan, ushered in this year by Cupp and fellow lawmaker Matt Huffman.

The Smiths also lost a daughter, Debra.

The four couples bring a reminder of the importance of family and the gift of marriage.

If Dan Lamb could offer one piece of advice to newlyweds that he's learned from nearly seven decades of marriage, it would be to "think about what you're going to say before you blurt it out."

And if you're having trouble coming up with the right words, it's hard to go wrong with a meaningful, "I love you."

ROSES AND THORNS: The rose garden now has a recruiter.

Rose: To Alex Butcher, who was a recipient of the Wendy's Wonderful Kids Recruiter of the Year Award for her work with Allen County Children Services. She becomes one of three recipients of the award for 2021 out of nearly 500 recruiters across the United States and Canada.

Rose: To Hardin Northern teacher Joe Foster, who was selected as the Ohio Department of Education's teacher of the year for Northwest Ohio. He becomes one of four finalists for the Ohio Teacher of the Year title to be named this summer.

Rose: Bluffton University and Bath High School graduate Josh Runda has been hired by the Iowa State football coaching staff as a quality control coach. He was the defensive coordinator for Bluffton last year and also has coached at Ohio Wesleyan.

Rose: The Lima Allen County Chamber of Commerce inducted its largest class ever into its Agriculture Hall of Fame. The seven inductees are former Allen County Commissioner and fair manager Jay Begg, dairy farmer Gene McCluer, grain and livestock farmer Gerald "Jerry" Brooks, progressive farmer and former fair board director Clyde Ditto, and Harry, Myrna and Scott Shutt of Kewpee Hamburgers. Jay Begg and Jerry Brooks are both being honored posthumously.

Rose: To Grace-Anne Larschied, 17, who was named Miss Ohio Teen USA.

Rose: To Ron Holman, who was named a major for the Lima Police Department.

Thorn: Two Shawnee Township residents recently received scam calls from a person claiming to be a sergeant with the Allen County Sheriff's office. The caller reportedly pressured the victims into purchasing money cards to avoid arrest, taking $1,800 from one victim and $500 from the other.

Thorn: Travis Trautzhe is in the Allen County Jail after being accused of slashing the tires of more than 60 vehicles in downtown Lima.

PARTING SHOT: "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." — From the movie "When Harry Met Sally"

Jim Krumel is the editor of The Lima News. Contact him at 567-242-0391 or at The Lima News, 3515 Elida Road, Lima, Ohio 45807.