Oxford picks 'rizz' as Word of the Year, exposing low-rizz epidemic among older Americans
When Oxford University Press announced that “rizz” is its 2023 Word of the Year, many Gen X- and boomer-generation Americans asked: “What’s a rizz?”
I imagine the youth of America laughed out loud and said something like: “Jeepers, gramps, it’s totes a hip slang word for ‘charisma,’ like a person’s ability to attract someone with their rad-ness.”
If you’re talking about someone who’s confident and smooth, you’d say, “That person has crazy rizz.”
Are you losing your rizz? I can help Gen X and boomers get it back.
Older Americans might joke about this Gen-Z/Gen-Alpha word, but those jokes cover up a serious issue most feel too embarrassed to discuss: rizz dysfunction.
My name is Rex Huppke and I’d like to speak openly today about how the loss of rizz is a perfectly normal problem millions of married Americans face. Some try to hide it. Some feel shame. Some fool themselves into believing they just don’t need rizz anymore to lead a happy life.
You don't have to go through life rizz-free – there's a solution
It’s OK. I used to think those same things. But then I discovered RizzAloft, an all-natural supplement from the makers of CapBeGone, NoSus and assorted vibes-enhancing products for aging Americans who no longer understand most of the words their children use.
Made of a proprietary blend of dank natural herbs, RizzAloft has helped me rediscover my rizz, glow up my drip and always flex a fit that slaps.
If most of the words mean nothing to you, then you definitely need RizzAloft.
If you can't understand a word your teenager says, you might have low-rizz
I’m happily married and everything seemed fine at home. But as my rizz decreased over the years, I found myself thinking it was OK to wear old pajamas all the time and never leave the house or talk to other human beings. I figured they’d probably just laugh at the Cheetos dust on my T-shirt. We’ve all been there.
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My teenager would come home from school and start saying things like “rizz” and “lowkey” and “salty” and “finna” and I felt isolated and confused.
Then one day I tried to say something charming to my spouse and it just didn’t work. I felt like such a failure. She said it happens to plenty of people my age, but that didn’t make me feel better. It was clear I was suffering from low-rizz.
An all-natural miracle drug that restores rizz in older adults? Yes indeed.
I consulted with my physician, but he had no clue what “rizz” meant, suggesting he too was in denial. Then I discovered RizAloft.
Within a week of taking it, I could feel the difference. I started dressing like a normal human being and my magnetic smile returned. Before long, I was charming my spouse for hours and had the rizz of a 22-year-old.
Let's be real. Gifts are all that matter this holiday season.
Gen Xers and baby boomers should never give up on rizz
Look, things change as we get older. There’s nothing wrong with that. Where once we needed rizz to get by, over time we forget we even had it in the first place.
But maybe it’s time for all Gen Xers and baby boomers to rediscover our rizz.
After all, why shouldn’t we all be bussin' on god for real for real?
We can get there. And RizzAloft can help.
Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk
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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Oxford's Word of the Year is rizz. Sadly, most Americans don't have it
