Parents: Don't let smartphones and social media warp our children’s minds | Column

One day, I’ll throw the baseball in the backyard with my boys for the last time. None of us will realize the gravity of the moment.

As the setting sun decorates the sky, we’ll head in for dinner like we have so many times before. I’ll hear them laugh and howl all the way. I’ll put my glove on the shelf, turn off the garage light, and that’s it. Between now and then, I plan to stay outside as much as I can.

The creeks, woods, and fields of my childhood are literally imprinted on my skin. My friends and I played every sport and more than a few we made up. I dug salamanders out of riverbanks and shot bottle rockets at my brothers. Mom did insist that we wore eye protection.

Year after year, we wandered the neighborhood as if summer would never end.

I wanted that for my sons. I simply assumed that it was part of the natural order. For many of us, it was. There wasn’t much of an alternative.

I didn’t count on the most advanced computers in human history coming after my children.

This is not an anti-technology message

Every last parent in America knows that handing a phone or a tablet to a child renders them a mindless zombie for hours on end.

The temptation is great. The hooks are set in early childhood where the sales pitch is “educational” technology. Most parents want what’s best for their children.

The latest, greatest, most advanced systems for learning sound excellent until you realize two common features: screens and dopamine hits.

The road to hell has always been paved with good intentions.

Modern technology seeks to make life easier, create opportunities, and connect us. In many ways it has succeeded.

It has given us treatments for disease, exposed us to new cultures, and saved us significant time and energy. Opposing technology itself rejects a hope for the future.

We shouldn’t be Luddites hoping that the new gadgets and gizmos will simply flitter away.

They won’t.

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Help your children experience “in real life” moments

But what if the next moment with our children is our last? Will we leave them with memories, lessons, and skills or simply a high resolution device and self-esteem issues?

I’ve seen my boys adventure to a buzzard roost on the edge of our neighborhood. It’s an old, dilapidated house next to an 18th century cemetery. The first time they found it, a vulture had made its nest upstairs.

When the great bird stretched its wings and flew off, they nearly had heart attacks. The experience primed their interest to explore.

When we were making our way to Cummins Falls, my eldest son had a little too much swagger for his frame as he attempted to brave a swift current. I chased after him as he was swept away and plucked him coughing and spitting downstream. He was mad as hell, but he certainly felt alive.

I will never forget the look of absolute astonishment in my sons’ eyes as I explained how to fly a June Bug on a piece of thread.

I hold on to those moments as my sons come of age because the alternative of tranquilizing our children with technology is enticing.

My wife and I are dead tired from sports, playing outside, school, our respective jobs, and generally trying to keep the peace.

“Active parenting” is one of our most important goals as parents and also our most challenging. With four boys in my home, I now understand why my mother gave us Benadryl before car rides even when we weren’t sick. It’s a wonder she didn’t opt for a Taser instead.

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Digital ‘hellscape’ is dangerous for young minds

Don’t kid yourself. As tired as parents might be, what’s happening with modern technology is often more than mom and dad getting a break while the kids play Minecraft. Social media is a different animal.

“I, personally, based on the data I’ve seen, believe that 13 is too early … It’s a time where it’s really important for us to be thoughtful about what’s going into how they think about their own self-worth and their relationships and the skewed and often distorted environment of social media often does a disservice to many of those children,” US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said on “CNN Newsroom.”

Let me translate: The alternate reality and digital hellscape put before developing minds are dangerous.

Social media isn’t real. It’s not even particularly sociable. A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the concept of “doomscrolling.” It’s the phenomenon of constantly consuming information, especially negative content, which reinforces a cycle of depression and anxiety about the world around us. Some of us refer to that as Twitter.

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Do not lose sight of living life

We’re no match for the social media supercomputers. Our kids have even less of a chance. The irony is that these platforms twist our minds by giving us too much of what we want.

Spend your time on content raising concerns about vaccines, and you’ll run down a rabbit hole affirming your fears. Click on links decrying white supremacy, and soon it’s all around you. Constant affirmation creates developmental and personal atrophy.

The friction of life makes it worth living. We can’t lose sight of that in a modern digital fantasy world.

My backyard doesn’t respond to my boys. It’s not all about them. They can’t “mod” it to be whatever they want. We’re just out there throwing the ball, chasing errant throws, and hoping the ball doesn’t end up in a fire ant mound.

Sometimes, we just sit and talk. On other occasions, there’s work to be done, vegetables to plant, and grass to mow. Try doomscrolling when a baseball is flying towards your face or both of your hands are on a shovel.

Most of my family’s days are a critical mixture of work, fun, relaxation, and resilience.

These moments will be gone in the twinkling of an eye. I’ll coach sports, play in the yard, explore the wild, and wrestle with my boys until I can’t do it anymore.

I know the last day in the yard with my boys is coming, and, on that day, I’m not coming in until every single ray of sunlight fades.

USA TODAY Network Tennessee Columnist Cameron Smith is a Memphis-born, Brentwood-raised recovering political attorney raising three boys in Nolensville, Tennessee, with his particularly patient wife, Justine. Direct outrage or agreement to smith.david.cameron@gmail.com or @DCameronSmith on Twitter. Agree or disagree? Send a letter to the editor to letters@tennessean.com.

This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Do not let smartphones and social media warp our children’s minds