Pastor Caleb Gordon: Speak love into your spouse's life
February is known as the month of love in our culture. Love is often associated with marriage. We also know that the gift of marriage was instituted by God and created for men and women (Genesis 2:18, Matthew 19:4–6, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:7, Hebrews 13:4, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10).
Since we have been given this gift of marriage, set up from the beginning of creation by God Himself, I wanted to share some thoughts on how to not to take our spouses for granted and how to express love well inside of the covenant of marriage. It’s easy to take our spouses for granted. It’s easy to pick apart flaws in the person you married. For some reason, this inclination comes naturally to us. It is difficult to praise our spouses. For some reason, it is hard for us to see the good and focus on the good over the bad. If our spouse does ten good things and one bad thing, often we can focus more on that one bad thing rather than the other ten good things.
This is because of sin, which has fractured everything in our world. However, the presence of sin is not an excuse that we should snuggle up to in hopes of being proven right. We must make war on our sin nature. We must rise above what comes naturally to us.
So, I have listed three different ways we can see the best in our spouses, three ways we can change our marriages.
1. When your spouse messes up (and they will) be ready to show the kind of Grace that has been extended to you by Jesus Christ.
“Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).
I want you to honestly think about this for a moment. How often does Jesus forgive you? And how many times has He stepped into our timeline and forgiven us again and again for the same exact thing? Since Christ has been willing to forgive us, we need to be willing to forgive one another. Even if we mess up.
2. When you have the desire to use your words to tear down, make the choice to speak life into your spouse’s life.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Prov. 18:21).
Words are so powerful. The right words can take us to heights unknown, and the wrong words can drag us down into the depths of sorrow and anxiety. When you have the desire to retaliate or speak harshly, count to 20 before you say anything. It just might change the whole situation.
3. Look for ways to outdo one another in showing honor.
“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Rom. 12:10).
Look for ways that will build up your spouse every day. Find ways to show them honor. Figure out what makes them come alive and then show that off to them. We all know our spouses and what they love. Do the things they love and do them with no strings attached.
If we walked these three simple ideas out in our marriages we’d see far less divorce and far more extravagant people walking on the planet. These ideas just might transform the world!
Let us start doing this today!
Caleb Gordon is a longtime Bartlesville resident and pastor of the First Baptist Church of Cedar Vale, Kansas.
This article originally appeared on Bartlesville Examiner-Enterprise: Pastor Caleb Gordon: Speak love into your spouse's life
